The Demented Ramblings of the Insane

Children Shows Part One

2010-11-30T10:20:00.000-05:00

I'm going to do a couple of little reviews of children television shows. Basically, I'd decided to get my criticisms of the shows my kids are watching off my chest. Join me as I bitch, moan, and complain about the "quality" children's programming of today!

Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

I remember the original Scooby-Doo fondly. Sure, I was watching re-runs, but hey, I loved 'em. "Sooby-Doo", "What's New Scooby-Doo", "Scooby-Doo and the Thirteen Ghosts"... Hannah Barbara had my complete loyalty on Saturday mornings growing up. Even ABC's A Pup Named Scooby-Doo got me to watch. The more recent string of direct-to-DVD movies ranged from entertaining to "ow, ow, my my eyes and brains are melting!" (Scooby-Doo and the Goblin King, I'm looking at YOU). I haven't yet been able to force myself to watch the live action offerings, but my kids said they liked them. Bottom line, the old stuff was great when I was a kid, and my kids love the new stuff, so any new show featuring the talking dog and his meddling kids has a good chance of being pure gold.

Right?

"Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated" is Cartoon Network's latest offering to the franchise. While it continues the classic "monster of the week" feel that the old shows had, it also adds in a continuing plot to the series. Each episode is listed as a "chapter" in the story, and a larger mystery lurks behind the scenes, slowly revealing itself to the characters and viewers as the hidden figure of "Mister E" (honestly, wasn't that joke used enough in the third Batman movie?) provides hints and clues Scooby and the gang.

The show is set in the town of Crystal Cove, supposedly the most haunted place on Earth. The whole gang are a group of teens (their age hasn't been announced, but they're old enough to have toured a college campus) that have formed a tight friendship due to their love of solving mysteries. Here's a quick description of the characters in their latest incarnations:

Fred Jones is the son of Crystal Cove's Mayor, and it is safe to say that he's a mix of idiot and genius. This incarnation of Fred is obsessed with traps to the exclusion of all else. He builds traps in front of his house to catch the mail man, goes to trap exhibits, critiques any traps the police try to set, and even keeps a scrapbook of the various traps the gang have used over the years. Part and parcel with his obsession, Fred shows an amazing mastery of physics (as they pertain to traps, of course), but is clueless when it comes to everything else, including girls. He has recently come to realize that he is romantically interested in Daphne, having repressed his feelings over the years because he doesn't think boys are supposed to have feelings.
Daphne Blake is one of several daughters to the extremely wealthy Blake family. While the rest of her sisters have progressed through school at an astonishing rate (her mother claims they had all graduated from the same school early) and gone on to careers in the military, science, and medical fields, Daphne wants nothing to do with it. All she wants is to date Fred, though she's trying to keep everyone else from knowing her feelings, probably because Fred's oblivious nature frustrates her so much. Daphne has an "odd" view about some things do her family's wealth; at one point she makes a comment that locking people up when they go crazy is normal because her family has to do that with her mother periodically. Daphne is also an excellent singer, singing with the Hex Girls at one point in the show. Of all the characters, Daphne is probably the most aware of what's going on with the rest of the gang. She's the first to figure out that Velma and Shaggy are in a relationship, and she often tries to comfort Velma.
Velma Dinkley isn't the shy nerd that everyone remembers. She's still a genius/nerd, but she's also VERY aggressive and outspoken, at one point ordering Fred to "man up" in the first episode. She likes Shaggy and is trying to date him, but she also insists on changing him. She demands that he eat better, stop using the word "like", dress nicer... It's actually hard to understand how she likes him since she wants to change EVERYTHING about him. Velma's parents run a tour of Crystal Cove's haunted attractions, often having Velma give the tours. Velma hates being a tour guide, especially since all of the ghosts of Crystal Cove have been proven to be fakes. Frankly, Velma's a bitch in this new series, but at least she doesn't lose her glasses EVERY episode.
Shaggy Rogers is the ever-hungry son of another of Crystal Cove's wealthy families. His parents seem completely disappointed in him, wanting almost nothing to do with Shaggy. They're upset with his lack of ambition, slovenly attitude, and the friends he keep. They seem to feel everything he does is an embaressment to them, at one point asking him not to tell anyone his last name. Shaggy is best friends with Scooby-Doo, but is conflicted because he also likes (and wants to date) Velma. Velma's possessive and controlling nature grates on Shaggy, and he feels caught between hanging out with his best pal and his girlfriend. The fact that Scooby and Velma are unwilling to share Shaggy doesn't make things easier on him, and Shaggy is constantly trying to get out of needing to choose between the two, creating huge amounts of tension among the gang.
Scooby-Doo is still a talking dog, who is capable of eating one out of house and home. He is best friends with Shaggy, but their friendship has become strained due to Shaggy's relationship with Velma. Scooby-Doo seems to think that Shaggy is "cheating" on him. Scooby-Doo retains the magical ability to manipulate things as if he had opposable thumbs, such as tying complicated knots.Frankly, if you leave out the jealous nature, this is the same Scooby-Doo that we've always known and loved.

The show has been tuned up for the modern age despite the anachronisms (people still wear ascots). The local radio station host (a friend of the gang; they often hang out at the station with her) actually thinks its funny that the gang doesn't know what an 8-track tape is. Most of the monsters make use of fantastic technology to deceive the people of Crystal Cove. One monster, a mass of Cicada insects, is using military-grade sonic technology to coordinate and control the insects. Another uses advanced robotics to create a killer robot hound. Another use of sonic technology allows a monster who can knock over CARS with its sonic scream. Frankly, the rare appearance of a dude wearing a mask and using a projector is welcome in this series, because the villains are usually making use of such fantastic and unbelievable technology that it seems implausible that this gang of kids could catch them.

The show has been written for parents as well as kids. Many jokes are hidden within the episodes, and most of them will only be picked up by parents. At one point Fred's father says "By Grabthar's Hammer!", a reference to a line in the movie "Galaxy Quest". An entire episode is dedicated to writers like H.P. Lovecraft (called "Hatecraft" in the show), Harlan Ellison, and Howard E Roberts. It's actually great fun to pick the jokes out, and provide a nice distraction from the silly plots. There is also, disturbingly, a "Silence of the Lambs" reference in the show, though it is a talking bird (parrot maybe?) playing the role of Hannibal Lector.

Kids are going to like this show, because it's Scooby-Doo, and that's a tried and true formula. Older kids might even enjoy it because of the romance elements in the show (that's the only reason I can think of to include them). Adults should enjoy the hidden jokes. The show has its flaws, but there are far worse things out there. I'm happy might kids like to watch this show, and I'll keep showing it to them in the future.

End of Demented Rambling.

Resident Evil: Afterlife

2010-09-19T19:52:00.000-04:00

Tuesday Lisa and I went to see Resident Evil: Afterlife on IMAX 3-D. After taking a few days to digest the movie, I'm ready to share my thoughts.

Let me begin by saying that I am a huge fan of the Resident Evil game franchise. Though late to the party, I have eagerly collected every title I could find (though I'm still lacking the PS2 titles). Like many fans I eagerly awaited RE4 and the change in game play. I was reluctant about the change in focus from zombies to the plagas, but after playing RE4 I became fully supportive of the change. I loved that the plagas returned in RE5, and I really enjoyed that game.

But we're talking about the movies here... still, now you know my bias.

I enjoyed the first and second Resident Evil movies, but hated Extinction with a passion. So when I heard about Afterlife, my first thought was "I'm going to hate this movie". Then I heard it was being filmed in 3D, and I said "So the movie industry is exploiting this gimmick AGAIN. Great. This is REALLY going to suck." Needless to say, I was going into this movie hostile.

I came out of the theater happy. I enjoyed Afterlife. Not that it doesn't have problems, because it does. Lots of them. Still, it was a fun movie. I'll try to explain my positives and negatives for Afterlife below.

Resident Evil: Afterlife takes two of my biggest problems with the movie franchise (Alice is a superhuman and Alice has an army of clones of herself) and rids itself of them VERY quickly. Alice goes back to being a normal human being (kind of; see my problems with the movie below), and the clones go out with a bang. A big bang. Visually, director and writer Paul W.S. Anderson has chosen to move the films in line with the games, giving the current zombies a look that resembles the Majini from RE5. It's a great visual, and a nice attempt to tell game fans "I haven't departed COMPLETELY from the games".

Claire Redfield is back (yay for characters from the games!) and this time Chris Redfield is introduced as well. Unfortunately, they both play second-fiddle to Alice. Viewers willing to sit through some credits also get a brief look at Jill Valentine, appearing like she does in RE5.

Returning to its game roots is all well and good, but it does lead to one of my problems with the movie. At this point the Resident Evil movies have diverged SIGNIFICANTLY from the games, mainly because of the events in Extinction. Anderson has written an alternate setting where most of the world's population has become the walking dead, leaving only a scattered group of survivors looking for places of refuge, or Umbrella bases trying to find a way to return humanity to the surface of the planet.

While Anderson has visually brought in the creatures from the later games, he has failed to explain HOW they've come to be. Here's an example. The zombies that now look like the Majini from the games. In the games, the Majini are a result of exposure to plagas parasites that have taken over and mutated their hosts. The plagas, in turn, were discovered by European miners. They have NO connection to Umbrella before RE5 in the games. In the movies zombies have taken on Majini traits because... well, who knows. No reference is made to the plagas, the zombies are called "zombies" and the characters in the film don't seem surprised by this change... so the viewer is left wondering what happened.

Plot holes like these are riddled throughout the movie. Claire Redfield loses her memory because of a device implanted on her chest by Umbrella. In the games this device is implanted on Jill Valentine's chest to pump a performance enhancing chemical into her that also keeps Jill subservient to Wesker. The device in the movie... well, apparently it makes Claire forget her whole life, and ONLY Claire, because another character freed from the same device exhibits no evidence of memory loss whatsoever. Chris has to tell Claire that he is her brother... but we never get any memory flashbacks to actually show us that this is true, or the nature of their relationship in the movies (after all, we can't assume it is the same as the games when Anderson has changed so much). The biggest plot hole is Wesker claiming that the Redfield siblings have become a thorn in his side... when he has only met them five minutes prior to making the statement, and neither has been shown to have had any past history with Umbrella. Perhaps there's a deleted scene to explain it, but the finished product in theaters doesn't.

Afterlife also has problems with its use of 3D. Frankly, the 3D is boring and adds almost NOTHING to the viewing experience. At no time did any 3D effect shock or wow me. There were some great opportunities for the 3D effects to make some "jump" moments... but Anderson fails to exploit them.

Still, the movie is fun. Don't over-analyze it, because it can't stand up to it. Fans of the movies who don't know much about the games will be lost (it borrows too much from RE5 without explanation), but if you aren't trying to match up the games and the movies you'll probably just say "wow, that looks cool!" Either way, sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the ride.

End of Demented Ramblings.

A Great Book To Recommend

2010-09-09T21:40:00.000-04:00

Are you a fan of memoirs?

Do you recognize the cultural commentary in George Romero's zombie movies?

Have you read the Zombie Survival Guide back to back, and written criticisms in the margins?

If so, have I got the book for you...

Brains: A Zombie Memoir by Robin Becker.

Don't really click to look inside; I took the image from Amazon.

Brains is narrated by English-professor-turned-zombie, Jack. As a zombie virus is unleashed on the world, Jack finds himself transformed into one of the walking dead. Unlike the shambling masses around him, Jack has retained his intelligence and has the amazing ability to communicate through writing. Sadly, Jack's abilities with speech are... less than successful.

Filled with an overwhelming desire for brains, and the need to create a zombie society, Jack sets off in search of other intelligent zombie and the creator of the zombie virus. He meets a large cast of zombies who are capable of fighting off their need to feed, and creates a small "family" with them. There's Joan, the former nurse who retains her ability to patch up her dead brethren. Guts, a small child who is quite empathic with other zombies and can move as if he were still alive. Ros, the soldier-turned-zombie who can actually SPEAK. Annie, the teenage zombie who has amazing sharpshooting skills. The group also keeps a couple of non-intelligent zombies around, including Eve, a woman Jack turned into a zombie to be his "wife".

The book takes the reader through the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of Jack's band of shambling misfits. From being captured by the military, hunting a Wal-Mart for brains, capturing a living person to act as a driver, and finally wintering at the bottom of Lake Michigan to hide from human hunting parties, the zombies provide a delightful, if sometimes disturbing, tale. Becker has laced Jack's narrative with sarcastic references to pop culture that left me laughing out loud. I rooted for the zombies the whole time, even when they were at their most despicable.

Obviously, I liked the book, and I recommend it to everyone who enjoys zombies or dark comedies. I found the book in the Horror section at my local Borders bookstore, but I wouldn't really classify it as such. There was nothing to invoke horror in the reader, really, but I'm not sure where else they COULD classify it. If my description sounds interesting, but your not a "reader", fear not! Brains comes in at only 182 pages; I finished it in less than a day, and the chapter lengths were short enough that there plenty of good places to set the book down if life prevents you from reading large chunks at a time (like having three kids).

End of Demented Rambling

Because I Didn't Get To Do This Yesterday...

2010-07-16T10:03:00.002-04:00

Too busy running around yesterday to get this done when I should have.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEX!!!!!!!

I love you son.

End of Demented Rambling.

Quick Post

2010-06-30T19:57:00.000-04:00

So I was going to write a review for Silent Hill: Shattered Memories for the Wii.

I can't. I don't want to review a product without having completed at least 80% of it.

I'm going to sum this up quick:

The creators of this product don't "get" what made Silent Hill good, nor how to "reboot" a series, because I don't WANT anything that follows this game. I loved some of the ideas in theory. Normal guy can't fight off the strange monsters, but instead has to run away while they chase them? Nice concept, but turns into crap game play that is more frustrating than suspenseful. The game psychologically profiles me to help make it scarier? Cool... except that I wasn't find that to be the case.

I'll be blunt; I was playing the other night, got through a nightmare sequence, completed several puzzles, and then entered a new nightmare sequence. I saved and told Lisa "Yeah, I'm just not in the mood for another chase tonight." and then each time I thought about starting the game up I thought "Yeah, but I'll have to do a nightmare sequence right away... and that just sucks." So here's the point: If there is an element to your game that makes me not want to pick back up the Wii remote... YOU FAILED. If I would rather go back to a game from my ORIGINAL XBOX and play that, YOU FAILED. Games are for entertainment.

Me no entertained, YOU FAIL!!! Small words make sense?

Not to be entirely negative, I've recently remembered how much Deus Ex from Eidos (yeah, they do more than Tomb Raider!) and the sequel, Deus Ex: Invisible War ROCKS (though Deus Ex was better than the sequel, but what can you do?). I can't wait for Deus Ex: Human Resistance. Something about these games just work for me.

Oh, and there's a new Spider-Man game coming out that apparently features Spider-Man 2099. This makes me happy. Very happy. Here's a link: http://spidermandimensions.marvel.com/ I may be in a minority for people who really enjoyed the 2099 lines, but I don't care. They were fun (favorite: Ghost Rider 2099).

End of Demented Rambling.

Rambling Review: Food Network Cook or Be Cooked for the Wii

2010-06-23T14:13:00.001-04:00

Summery: This sounds like a cool idea; a game that teaches you how to cook mixed with the Wii's motion controls! Sadly, it comes out a little under-cooked, bland, and too far from actual cooking to be from a network dedicated to the art of creating food dishes.

There's a few of these cooking games out on the market now. America's Test Kitchen has one for the Nintendo DS, and Personal Trainer: Cooking, plus more (really, the DS is apparently THE PLATFORM to use video games to teach cooking techniques). Apparently these video games are becoming a bit of a trend, like fitness video games. Still, I hadn't played any of them prior to discovering Food Network's Cook or Be Cooked game. My first thoughts were "Damn, that sounds like fun; an actual game with motion controls that let me really chop the ingredients, stir the pots, and all the other items, plus it includes recipes!" We put it into our Game Queue at GameFly and recently had it delivered to our door.

The Story Behind the Game: Food Network personalities magically come through your TV and then WON'T GO AWAY.

Of course, these aren't the Food Network personalities we might WANT to see. I can think of a variety of personalities that I'd love to have magically walk through my TV and help me cook. Bobby Flay, Alton Brown, Guy Fieri, Giada De Laurentiis, Tyler Florence... I'd love one on one lessons from any of them! And for the fun of a video game, who could top Alton Brown, the guy who figured out how to make an instructional cooking show into something like Bill Nye The Science Guy?

Instead, we get Susie Fogelson and Mory Thomas. Wondering who they are? Well, why wouldn't you? Susie Fogelson is basically in charge of product marketing for the Food Network (I'm sure its more complicated than that, and I know her position is VERY important for the Network). Basically, she helps those Food Network Stars get their cookbooks, knife sets, special pots and pans, etc out on the market. She's also part of the selection committee from The Next Food Network Star show; so if you're not a fan of that, you've never heard of her. Mory Thomas? He's a chef in the Food Network Kitchens... and I only know this because of the product description! In other words, he's not a name I recognize or care about.

Now, I understand Ms.. Fogelson being in the game, at least kind of. Food Network-philes were probably considered the target audience for the game, and such people have probably watched AT LEAST one season of The Next Food Network Star, and her role in that show does give her experience judging food... but frankly, she's a corporate suit (as far as I know), so hearing her comment over how fast I chopped the garlic is meaningless to me. And Mory Thomas... I can only assume that the big names (and little) for the network assumed the game would bomb and didn't want their names associated with it, so they stuck, essentially, a nobody in the role. The only problem is, THE NOBODY IS THE ONE GIVING ME MY RECIPES FOR THE GAME.

Gameplay: You chop, you peel, you stir, you preheat... all with the Wii remote!

The game does what it sets out to do. You're given a number of meals to prepare for Susie and Mory to taste and judge. You are scored based on how fast you accomplish your goals, how warm the dishes are when they're served, etc. Various mini-games walk you through the steps of preparing whatever dish you're working on, and an on-screen display shows the motion you're supposed to use with the Wii remote to accomplish all this. For example, you use a chopping motion with the remote to make the on-screen knife chop the ingredient, stir with the remote, and make flipping motions to use tongs or spatulas. That part's not bad.

The game ALSO requires you to have the nunchuk plugged in. Why? Well, to be honest, BECAUSE THEY DAMN WELL WANTED IT TO. Seriously. There is no function they used the nunchuk for that could not have been used with just the Wii remote. You wave the nunchuk frequently to pull an ingredient out... but they could have just had you wave the Wii remote (or nothing at all, since the FREQUENTLY DON'T REQUIRE YOU TO WAVE ANYTHING). You can press the Z-button to speed up time, but there are plenty of buttons not used on the Wii Remote that could have served this purpose (like the 1 or 2 button). And then at some points the randomly switch into a rhythm-based mini-game where you wave the Wii remote or nunchuk as a topping falls from the top of the screen into a box... which feels more like it belongs on one of the Wii Fit's mini-games!

Scoring is... strange as well. The game won't teach you proper technique for cutting or, well, much of anything. If you didn't know how to smash garlic before you might pick up that trick, or maybe a fast way to dice onions, but Food Network-philes have seen these tricks hundreds of times before. Oddly enough, the game NEVER wants you to de-seed a jalapeno; but magically, only the "pepper" portion of the jalapeno ends up in the bowl. So despite the fact that you aren't learning proper technique you ARE scored based on how fast you chop, whether you hit a target area for pouring or shaking a salt shaker, etc. It's nit-picking, and not helpful to the game's premise of helping teach you the recipes (I don't HAVE to chop that fast to make my food taste good, dammit!). After an element of your dish is finished a meter appears to let you know how warm it is; the longer you take to finish the other parts, the colder that element will be. Hot elements get you a lot of points, warm will get you some points, and cold elements deduct points.

Once you've gotten scored the virtual Susie and Mory will "taste" your food and then comment on it. And frankly, the comments are annoying. They'll award you a Bronze, Silver, or Gold medal (or announce that you've been cooked). You can scroll through the dishes to see what your scores were in each section, but would have been nice was advice to help make the dish better next time (for example, "You need to start your cous cous a little later so it will be warm when you serve the plate", or something like that). And some of the comments are bizarre. If you earn a Bronze, Mory will often say "It's a good thing I'm hungry," a comment that I take to mean that the meal is not good at all, but apparently I still earned enough to get a damn medal!

You can also review individual recipes. This sounds like a great idea "hey, that tuna dish sounded good, how do I make that in real life?" Only there's a problem. Like not including the quantities of ANY ingredient in the recipe kind of problem. Seriously, how can you claim to provide me with recipes if you don't include any quantities?

Combat: If only!

I mean, I have knives, skillets, there are annoying people I want to hit... motion-sensitive controllers.... wait, am I going too far here?

Conclusion: Food Network Cooked or Be Cooked is cold... and I want to warm it back up by putting the disc in my microwave.

Honestly, as my first exposure to cooking games... I hope this isn't the norm. It's a neat idea, at first. It sounds cool, we've got the controllers to let me feel like I'm chopping... but after a few dishes the shine has worn off, and I'm wanting to take a skillet to the virtual "personalities" (who I don't care about) who dare to criticize my "cooking". If Food Network wanted to try another cooking game I'd be open to trying it... but only if I actually had REAL Food Network personalities involved, and if the mini-games were toned down. I'm going to give this one a 2/5 score... and the only reason it isn't a 1 out of 5 is because I think they could build from this and make a good Food Network Cook or Be Cooked 2.

End of Demented Rambling.

Dear Bioware, My Wishlist For Dragon Age 2...

2010-06-20T08:44:00.000-04:00

I've been playing through Dragon Age Origins with all the downloaded content and Awakenings recently. This new session of playing a game that I really should be tired of (but somehow I'm not) has affirmed a few of my beliefs regarding what I would (and would not) want to see in Dragon Age 2. I'd write Bioware a letter, but since it's possible we're getting the game in February, I kind of doubt that there's much point. Still, here's what I'd ask for:

Please Keep:

Conversations among the party members; many of these were hilarious.
Customizable tactics for my characters so I can just play my character if I want.
Rich and detailed origins stories for the main character. In fact, give me more of these!
Specializations to let my characters of the same class feel different from one another.
The inventory system (but you can do away with the "junk" category; it's purpose could be accomplished with a simple "Do you really want to destroy this item?" confirmation box).
The HUGE number of Codex entries.
Stamina droughts. WHY WEREN'T THOSE IN THE MAIN GAME?!?!?!?

Please Add:

The ability for me to sort the order of my Codex entries (make newest entries on top, all unread entries on top, whatever) OR make it so I need to "mark" an entry as read by pressing a button or something, rather than marking it read as soon as I scroll over it. I like the Codex, and I'd like to be able to find my new entries.
Different skill lists for each class. Make the lists bigger, let classes have unique skills to help make this part of the game feel like more than an afterthought. Rogues can keep things like Stealing, Poison Making, and Trap Making (oh, and change the lockpicking and stealth Talents into skills). Warriors could have skills that help them aggro their foes (move those Taunt abilities to skills, rather than Talents), and maybe armor or weapon crafting skills. Mages can have Herbalism, Rune-Making and the like. You can keep some skills generic (survival & coercion for instance). Just do SOMETHING so I feel like I have a place to put skill points for my warriors once I've maxed out combat training!
More enemy types, either enemies who look different (all shades are exactly the same), or just a greater variety of creatures so I don't run the risk of feeling like I'm fighting the same Qunari Mercenary over and over again.
More download content that provides either new characters or greater background on existing characters. Alternatively, new Specializations from DLC.
More consistency between the storyline elements and the codex (why is the Sloth Demon ruling over two Desire Demons, when the Desire Demons are considered higher ranked?).
Download content that actually works with your goddamn expansion pack!!!! Seriously, if it came out ON RELEASE, then there is NO REASON that my items should vanish when I import my character to your next expansion. Telling me that the items were only intended for Origins is bullshit.

Please Get Rid Of:

Not being able to access my companion's crafting skills while I'm camping. I don't like needing to leave camp to make a Health Poultice or Vigil Keep just to work on making that Paragon Flame Rune. Sure, you could say "but if the main character has those crafting skills you're set!" However, if I want to maintain consistency with your background for the world, only a dwarf should be able to take Rune Crafting... and maybe I don't think Herbalism fits with my warrior. It's an RPG, don't make me take skills for a character that I don't feel fit just to make crafting them convenient!
Stamina/Mana and Health increases as skills. Just... no. This was silly. Could you seriously not come up with better skills?
Buying additional Tactic Slots with my skill points. Sure, I needed somewhere to dump all those skill points, but if you'd actually concentrated on your skill system to begin with I would have HAD somewhere. If you think I'll want more slots, just increase how many I get from leveling up!
Specializations from an expansion not updating the original game to let me use them all the time. This last play through had me not leveling my main character after a certain point because I wanted to save my Talent slots for either Awakening Specialization Talents, the new weapon skill path, or the extra class paths... If I could have used the new specializations earlier, I could have saved myself the hassle.
Everything coming from the Fade. Look, if the Fade is so bad, why wouldn't the Chantry just wipe out the mages? They become Abominations, possibly created the Darkspawn, and help thin the veil so all these damn spirits can escape into our world (and apparently it happens ALL THE TIME in Ferelden).

Does anyone agree with me?

End of Demented Rambling.

Rambling Review: Alan Wake for the Xbox 360!

2010-06-13T20:38:00.000-04:00

ALAN WAKE

(Game Trailer)

Summery: This game was a lot of fun, despite repetitive gameplay.

I was eagerly excited for the release of Alan Wake for the Xbox 360. A video game where you play a best-selling author in a horror story, with inspirations from Twin Peaks? How could I not be excited? I watched all of the promotional material I could find, including the 6-part web series Bright Falls released as a prelude to the game. I was a little upset that I didn't get a copy sent to me right away (which is why this Rambling Review is showing up so late to the game), but that's what happens sometimes with new releases and GameFly.

The Story Behind the Game: Famous writer tries to rescue wife from a supernatural entity.

The main character of the game is, unsurprisingly, Alan Wake, a fictional best-selling author known for his series of crime novels. In his last book Wake killed off the main character of his series so he could move on to something new (Reminds me of ABC's Castle), but is stuck in a rut and hasn't written so much as a page in two years. In fact, he gets furious at anyone who tries to stick him in front of a typewriter. To get away from everyone (including his best friend, and agent, Barry), Alan and his wife, Alice, decide to go on vacation to a secluded town called Bright Falls. They're renting a cabin for a couple of weeks, just in time for Bright Falls' famous "Deer-fest".

Alan and Alice arrive in Bright Falls via ferry and drive out to their cabin on an island in the middle of a prominent local water feature: Cauldron Lake. It seems like things are going to be nice and quiet for the couple. We learn that Alice is terrified of the dark, something Wake seems more than willing to help her out with whenever she freaks out. Unfortunately, Alice had an ulterior motive for getting Alan to Bright Falls; she's hoping the vacation will recharge his creative batteries, and if that fails there happens to be a treatment center for creative artists where she wants Alan to seek treatment.

Alan discovers all of this, and we discover that Alan has a temper. A bad one. He storms out on Alice, but doesn't get very far before all the lights go out in the cabin, and Alice starts screaming for help. Alan races back to help her, only to discover that Alice has somehow been pulled into the lake. Alan leaps in after her...

... and wakes up in his wrecked car, a week later. Now he has to find out what happened to Alice, to his missing week, and why he keeps finding pages of one of his manuscripts that he doesn't remember reading... and that seem disturbingly prophetic.

I like the story for this game. I was excited for the game due to the back story prior to the game's release, and the rest of the story revealed throughout the game continued to interest me the whole time. The game's resolution is satisfyingly ambiguous; you have a good idea of what happened, but there's plenty of room left for a sequel. And I want a sequel, even if Alan Wake isn't actually the main character (though I'm not sure how you'd continue the naming trend for the franchise if the main character isn't Wake).

The game is divided into six easily-digested "episodes" that make it almost feel like a television episode. The beginning of each episode recaps the "game thus far" in a "Last Time, on Alan Wake"-style narration. This makes it very easy to finish an episode, move on to some other task you need to get done in your day, and come back later to pick up where you left off without losing your place in the storyline.

Gameplay: The game is a third-person shooter that focuses on using light to weaken enemies before you finish them off with a weapon.

Alan Wake places a lot of emphasis on light and darkness, particularly since the game's "Big Bad" is called The Dark Presence. Wake needs to make use of a flash light to weaken his enemies so he can the kill them with either a revolver, shotgun, or hunting rifle. Wake can also use a flare gun to take out multiple enemies at once (though stronger enemies will survive this attack), road flares to keep his foes at bay, and flashbang grenades to take care of those pesky mobs that try to overwhelm him.

The controls are set up nicely on the Xbox 360 controller. Movement and camera control are the standard left-stick and right-stick (respectively). You can select different weapons using the direction pad. Shotguns and Hunting Rifles both use the Up button, so you can only carry one of them at a time (nice that they didn't make the writer into Rambo). You shoot any gun-like weapon with the right trigger, and you throw a road flare or flashbang with the right bumper (you select which one using the down button on the direction pad). The player can reload Wake's weapons by pressing the X button (pressing it repeatedly will speed-up the reloading process), jump with the A button, and interact with most things using the B button. Wake's flashlight is always on (when he has one!), so all you need to do is aim it to start weakening your foes, but it works better if you "focus" the beam by holding down the left trigger. Focusing the flashlight drains batteries, however, but they'll slowly recharge over time, or you can put new ones in by pressing the Y button. The left bumper lets Wake run or dodge attacks.

Most of the gameplay is exploration mixed with combat. There's a little bit of platforming in the game, and some instances where Wake is driving a vehicle. To my surprise, the driving sections are fun, rather than the usual torture I find most driving sections in games where the driving isn't the main focus.

When Wake isn't fighting his enemies he'll want to keep an eye out for manuscript pages. These pages gives the player a "sneak preview" of either an upcoming event, or gives further insight into a character's motives. The pages are presented as type-written pages from a manuscript (you know, the exact things they're supposed to be), but Wake will read them out loud for those players who don't like reading during their games. Personally, I read faster than the audio, so I normally read them really quick and exited from them before the audio was done playing. They aren't long at all (in fact, I would hazard to say that NO ONE would actually write a story in that kind of format, but their purpose is to be self-contained, not a continuous document).

Wake can also find coffee thermoses hidden all over the place (finding them helps unlock achievements, but have no effect on gameplay), radios that let you listen in on the local radio station (providing you with some more of that lovely "local flavor" in Bright Falls), and find televisions that play episodes of "Night Springs", a Twilight Zone-esque short film with HORRID video-audio synch that are amusing when you want to take a break. Secret caches of supplies are hidden throughout the game, revealed only by the photosensitive paint that leads Wake to them.

Combat: You're going to do this OVER and OVER and OVER, but it's fun, so you won't complain!

The basic enemy of the game is called The Taken; a citizen of Bright Falls who has been possessed by the Dark Presence, and is now covered in Darkness to make him invulnerable. Wake can weaken The Taken by using his flashlight to dispel the Darkness protecting them, but they're still under the mental domination of the Dark Presence and need to be put down with a weapon. You will fight hundreds, if not thousands, of these enemies, with the same basic formula: 1. Focus the flashlight beam on The Taken until the Darkness is dispelled, 2. Blow it away with a weapon! It could get boring, but the game manages to keep it fresh. Some of The Taken are stronger than others and can survive multiple shots, and some can move with supernatural speed so you can barely see them as they move. The game likes to swarm you with Taken, providing higher-powered lamps to help you deal with them, or gas tanks to explode. Large areas of light (like under a lamp post) can be safe havens from your enemies.

Alan Wake also pits you against flocks of possessed birds that you fight primarily with your flash light (they're weak enough that you don't need the guns, but the flare gun can normally kill almost the whole flock). If the birds and The Taken aren't enough for you, the Dark Presence can also possess physical objects (like oil barrels) and throw them at Wake, or even vehicles (like bulldozers!) to try and flatten Wake. Like the birds, Wake just needs to use his flashlight against these possessed objects, but the game will throw in some Taken from time to time to keep things from being too easy!

Weaknesses: Not everything is perfect.

Sometimes the game throws some problems. The character animations aren't the best, with facial expressions seeming flat at times. As mentioned before, the video-audio synch on the Night Springs episodes are HORRIBLE, but I suspect this was on purpose. The most annoying part of the game, for me, was that there were times when Wake decides to ditch his gear for NO GOOD REASON. I lose my gear in a car wreck? No problem. I switch to a new episode with just the basic flashlight and now weapons? KEEP THE HEAVY-DUTY LAMP AND THE SHOTGUN YOU MORON!!!!

Seriously, for a character who KNOWS that supernatural entities are going to try to kill him as soon as the lights go out, Wake is oddly idiotic at times.

Conclusion: It's good!

In conclusion, Alan Wake was a LOT of fun. I enjoyed the storyline to the very end, and I'm looking forward to a sequel without feeling cheated by not having a clean "ending" to the game's story. The combat is repetitive, but still fun so I can forgive it, and the various little bits like the Night Springs episodes hidden throughout the game give the whole thing great flavor. Rating this game I give the story a 4/5 and the gameplay a 3/5 (lower only because of all the repetition).

End of Demented Rambling.

Gotta Love "Backwords Compatibility" Issues

2010-05-12T13:49:00.000-04:00

I'm eagerly awaiting the release of the new game Alan Wake for the Xbox 360 next week; I've got my GameFly queue all ready for it t be sent to us.

In the meantime, however, I'm wanting to just play something for fun. I was playing Elder Scrolls: Arena (yeah, the very FIRST Elder Scrolls game that's contemporary with, I don't know, DOOM!) on my laptop, but that got me itching to retry Morrowind again. Since my original Xbox is all boxed up, I broke out my Game of the Year Edition to play on my 360.

Now to be fair, GotYE isn't on the list of backwards-compatible games, but the original Morrowind IS. I started up my character and went and joined the Mages Guild. I went through some of my duties, and was having a good time. Then this morning I left to take Cassandra to school. I came back, loaded up my disc, waited for the long wait while the emulator got itself set up to run the game....

... and watched the 360 freeze while trying to load my saved game.

I tried again.

And again.

Again.

Grrrrr...

I cleared my cache. Twice. Waited 10 minutes at one point, and kept getting the message that the game won't work...

... and answered with "YOU WERE JUST WORKING FINE THIS MORNING YOU PIECE OF $H!T!!!"

VERY upset (could you tell?) I tried to load an older saved game under the irrational thought of "maybe something's wrong with this area!"

... and it WORKED.

For a while.

Then later, I died (ok, my character, y'knew what I meant!). I went to reload my game.

ERROR MESSAGE!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Still trying to resolve the issue.

End of Demented Rambling.

Person From China, Stay Out of My E-Mail!

2010-05-10T14:01:00.000-04:00

So I just signed into my Gmail account to publish a video I took of Lex doing a somersault to Facebook. I was greeted with a message from Google:

"Your account may have been compromised."

It turns out that someone from a Chinese IP address tried to access my Gmail account. Why? Who knows? I'm going to need to go back through the Sent folder and see if anything was sent via my account. Meanwhile, I've changed my password and my password retrieval method to something a little stronger.

What a pain in the ass.

End of Demented Rambling.

Dresden Files RPG

2010-05-02T11:21:00.000-04:00

I think I've commented on how much I enjoy Jim Butcher's Dresden Files books. I recently got to read the latest release Changes, and was left wanting more for my fix... and then I was lucky enough to get my hands on the pre-release .pdfs for the upcoming Dresden Files RPG sent out to those who had pre-ordered the game from Evil Hat Productions.

According to what I've read on RPG.net the .pdfs are approximately 90% complete, with some revisions still being done for the final print release (due out around either Origins or GenCon of this year), but I'm hard-pressed to see WHERE such revisions are still needed! The game is, without question, fantastic. Previously I had held Eden Studio's Buffy RPG as the best example of a licensed product fitting its source, but I'm handing the title over to the Dresden Files RPG. (I'm going to shorten this to DFRPG)

DFRPG was written using the FATE system, just like another Evil Hat Productions RPG I've read, Spirit of the Century, but this is an updated version of FATE and has differences. Rather than compare the two, I'm just going to blab about the version in DFRPG! At its core FATE is a simple system using FUDGE dice to determine the results of dice rolls. What are FUDGE dice, you ask? They're a set of six-sided dice, but rather than pips numbered from 1-6, these dice have either a +, - , or ' ' (that's blank) on them. You roll 4 of these dice together, add up all the + signs you get, subtract any - signs from this total, and that gives you the results of your roll, which you then add to any modifiers you might have. Compare that total to the difficulty of your roll, and you've determined whether you've succeeded or not. A pretty simple core concept.

Adding depth to this system are Fate Points and Aspects. Aspects are items that add description to your character, either through a phrase, naming a person or organization important to that character, or describing a place or item that's important. Aspects are not only a way of describing your character, they're also a way for a player to tell the GM "Hey, I want THIS in the game!" In other words, if I take HUNTED BY THE BROTHERHOOD OF SKRANG as an Aspect, there damn well better be a Brotherhood of Skrang in the game, and it better be hunting my character! Beyond providing a description of your character, Aspects can also provide mechanical benefits to your character, or offer opportunities to gain Fate Points. Fate Points are used primarily to power certain abilities or to gain benefits from Aspects. By spending a Fate Point a player can invoke an appropriate Aspect to either give a small bonus on a skill roll, or allow the player to re-roll the dice for one skill roll (the player gets to choose). The GM can compel the character in some way through Aspects, either limiting the character's possible actions or introducing new elements to the game through the Aspect to make things more interesting. Players may also try to do this if they think of something neat or interesting. If a player agrees to be limited by the compel in some way, they get a Fate Point. They can choose to refuse to deal with the Compel by spending a Fate Point. I'll talk a little more about Aspects in a bit.

Characters are also represented through Skills, though in FATE skills represent a combination of actual skills (like Guns, for instance), attributes (Might as an example), and backgrounds (Resources fits this category). Skills will fall somewhere on the Ladder (a range of values from -2 to 8, with each value assigned an adjective to help players conceptualize what each value is worth), providing a base modifier for skill check results. So a character might have Guns at Good (+3), where they'll add the value of their dice roll and any other modifiers (like bonuses from Aspects) to that base +3 to get their result. The system also provides a category of abilities called Mortal Stunts that build off of skills and either enhance them (for example, providing an area of specialty for that skill), or providing new abilities to represent the character's excellence with the skill (like the ability to use Weapons to attack multiple opponents at once).

Then there are Supernatural Powers. These range from physical characteristics (Claws, Hulking Size, Wings) to shape shifting, to increased strength, speed, and toughness, to the ability to cast spells. Supernatural Powers each cost a variable amount of a character's Refresh value (the value which determines where how many Fate Points they have at the start of a session), so the more powers you take, the less Fate Points your character has to call on Aspects. (Note: Mortal Stunts cost refresh too, but it's a flat 1 Refresh per stunt, where Powers could be anywhere from 1 to... well, anything theoretically.)

To help create characters that fit in with the Dresden Files books, DFRPG provides a group of Templates that list powers the character MUST have to be that type of supernatural, as well as additional powers that fit thematically, but aren't needed. This helps players design character who fit into the power level of the game they're playing in (for example, if your base Refresh for the game starts at 6, the Wizard Template isn't going to work). Templates will also help players design their character's High Concept, an Aspect that normally MUST reference their Template in some way (for example, Harry Dresden's High Concept is WIZARD PRIVATE EYE).

Character creation is a group process, and players are encourage to figure out the title of the first "book" their character was the main character in (Harry Dresden, for example, would use Storm Front). They then summarize this book, and design an Aspect based on that bit of their background. Then the players pass their stories around the group (it's recommended that the stories get written down on index cards) so that another player may add a small bit detailing how THEIR character was a supporting character in the story, and designing an Aspect for their character based on this guest appearance. Then you repeat the process, assuming there are enough players to do so. In this way each character is tied to a couple other characters, helping to form group unity (or sometimes conflict). I REALLY like this part of character creation, as I've played in far too many games where I was left wondering why the characters were working together.

The magic system does an excellent job of emulating what we see in the books, though I would warn you that the system isn't (in my opinion) meant to be read all at once. As I read through the system I found I had an easier time digesting and processing it if I took the section in small snippets. Your experiences may vary, and all that, but I throw it out there as a point of caution.

DFRPG is being released as two books. The first book contains all the information I've discussed thus far, plus city creation rules (which is also encouraged to be a group activity), more rules on combat and other gaming elements, suggestions for building scenarios, and rules for character advancement. The second book is designed to present the setting of the books to players/gms, and is a mixture of setting material and monster manual, providing stats for every critter encountered in the books (assuming stats are appropriate for them). The layout on both books is excellent, and the RPG is presented as a project written by Billy the Werewolf (fans of Butcher's books might recognize the character), given to Harry and Bob the Skull to look over and edit. There are notes from Billy, Harry, and Bob all over the margins of both books, or provided on Post-it-notes. These notes are either amusing commentary, or helpful suggestions. The illustrations come from the graphic novels adapted from the books, and are generally very appropriate to nearby topics. Getting both books at the same time is going to set you back approximately $90, but the books are well worth it, and you'll be getting a reasonable page count for your money (the first book's .pdf weighs in at 416 pages, while the second book comes in at 272). Evil Hat also normally provides .pdf copies of print books ordered from their website (and anyone who has the "beta" pre-release pdfs will get updated ones once the book is officially released).

I'm very excited to play this game. I'm currently looking for players to participate in an online game over Google Wave (my dice roller can emulate FUDGE dice), and we've already gathered two players (not counting myself). I'm thinking about putting out an invitation on my Facebook Wall to try and gain the interest of my gaming friends.

If you're interested in reading more about DFRPG, check out the game's website at http://www.dresdenfilesrpg.com where you check out plenty of previews, read the game designer blogs, and even download copies of the character sheet, or Harry Dresden's character sheet (aw, heck, here's the direct URL: http://www.dresdenfilesrpg.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Harry-Dresden.pdf). I'll be VERY eager to pick up physical copies of this game when it releases, though of course my budget will determine if I actually can. If you'd like more information about the books that have inspired this rpg, I'd encourage you to check out Jim Butcher's website at http://www.jim-butcher.com/ where you can read previews from some of the books, check out other books by Jim, read Jim's Blog, or even listen to a podcast!

End of Demented Rambling.

The Death of the Sump Pump, and Setting Your Fiance on Fire

2010-04-14T00:06:00.002-04:00

Today (technically, yesterday) was an interesting day. It felt like I spent most of it out of the house. After Lisa got back from dropping the kids off at school while I guarded the house from Lex I went on my merry quest to return our library books and pick up the new books that had come in on reserve.

One problem. When I got to the library I remember the big stack of books I was taking back were still on the kitchen counter.

Oops.

Not to be thwarted in both my tasks, I entered the library determined to find Lisa's three books and my single book, all of which the Internet told me were on the reserve shelves. One of the library staff was putting out new reserves as I arrived and I smiled to myself, thinking "oh good, if I need help there will be someone right there!"

Second mistake. (The first being that stack of library books which were definitely NOT back at the library.)

I wandered over to the reserves section clearly marked 'B' (as Lisa still uses her ex's last name). I glanced down the shelves to confirm that I was, in fact, at the start of the 'B' section, which I was. I looked through the name tags and found a suspicious lack of 'Bennett' books. The staff member asked what I was looking for, and I explained that three books should be waiting for me on the shelves. She checked her cart and confirmed that there were no books for 'Bennett' there either. I explained that our account showed the books as being in, but we had not yet received our e-mails confirming availability.

I was then directed to the checkout desk, where I patiently waited in the small line to speak with a librarian about the issue. She confirmed that I was looking for books, not DVDs or CDs, and then told me to wait a moment while she checked in the back. I did as I was instructed and waited. She returned to apologize - the books weren't in the back either! So I returned to the reserve section to look again, just as a third staff member was wheeling out a cart which had several other 'B' reserves that had somehow failed to make it onto the first cart.

"What luck!" thought I, but alas, this cart also lacked the books I needed. I was about to question my sanity (always a good idea when your Rambling, right?) when the first staff member looked under the 'A' section and said, "Well the 'B's start here... oh, look! Here are your books!"

Apparently I have been mistaken for many years. The 'B' section does not begin where the shelf tags mark 'B' as starting... they start wherever the hell the library staff (who apparently are not required to understand alphabetizing) decide they start... and just because you are currently shelving books in a section does not apparently mean you actually have any knowledge of where anything is within that section.

Needless to say I grabbed the book reserved under my name and fled, before my grey matter could be sucked from my ears by the help. Thank the gods that checkout is automated! The computer and I had an insightful conversation regarding my library card number and library PIN number, as well as how I had a book waiting on me... I love that computerized checkout system!

I then went over to my parents on an errand, helped my mother remove a leaf from their dining room table, and had a long conversation regarding Cassandra and school. I won't repeat it, as it would require far more background information than I want to Ramble about to give you any sort of context. Suffice to say, we talked a while. I left and got gas in the car and made a quick stop at the bank, and then finally got home around 1:30.

I ate a quick lunch (left over asparagus pesto pizza topped in fontina and romano cheeses, and some vegetarian pot pie... mmmmmm!!!), and then Lisa and I bundled up Lex, grabbed the Library Books of Shame from the counter, and left to pick up the kids from school. We got there EXACTLY on time, meaning that I didn't need to bring The Hobbit (I'm refreshing my memory on it since I haven't read it since the Sixth Grade) with me.

From there we went BACK to the library, where I redeemed my earlier dishonor. Go me!

Next to Wal-Mart where Lisa picked up weed-killer, a new set of sheers, cilantro & mint herbs to plant, a new toothbrush (she's not planting that), and I got some more soap (I might plant that, but not it's not very likely) and looked at the prices of wood burning pens (I've needed a new rune set for some 8 years now, and I'm determined I'll make them myself, dammit). Some paint brushes so Lisa can finish painting the bathroom (if you want it don't well, DO NOT SEND ME, I PROMISE NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY YOU WILL NEED TO REPAINT), and then finally...

... home. Well, not immediately, because of course the scanner couldn't register the first roller Lisa got, so she had to run back and get another one. With a Wal-Mart manager standing right next to the cashier who could have used a walkie-talkie to get someone in painting to read us the price or barcode, or gone back herself... gotta love Wal-Mart!

Ok, so then home. And if you've made it through that you're probably going "I've been screwed, his title promised pyrotechnics and plumbing!" Fear not!

Dinner tonight was chicken kabobs on the grill (Lisa has a fancier name, but I don't remember it, and it's freaking kabobs so... KABOBS!!!). After discovering that the recipe did NOT call for Rice Vinegar like she had thought, but rather Rice WINE, Lisa had me go to Kroger to procure the cooking alcohol. 3rd trip to that store in as many days. One day we'll get a complete list for the week, but I don't know when. I explored Kroger up and down before finally finding what I believed to be the Rice Wine (it was), and a bottle of Sake just in case I was wrong and it could be used as a substitute (it can, but we didn't need to). Then back home.

While I was upstairs playing the game of "But Lex, Mommy Needs Me Downstairs so You Have to Stop Crying and Let Me Leave While You Play With Your Brother and Sister" that I love so much, Lisa got the grill out and got ready to start it up. Now, to let you know, the grill hates Lisa, and the feeling is returned by her. The other day she successfully lit it... well, successfully if you consider the fact that after 10 minutes of pre-heating it was barely past 200 degrees and I could barely tell the burners were on (considering the recipe called for the grill to be on 'High'). Despite her disputes with the grill, she decided to make another go at it...

... and when she came upstairs she informed me that her eyelashes were gone and so was some of the hair. I thought she was kidding. Then I stepped in close and smelled that unmistakable burnt hair smell, saw the shorter-than-normal eyelashes, and the much-shorter strip of hair and realized that she had actually created a mini-fireball with the grill.

(Just to confirm, she's ok, though her eyelids were burned and she can't quite apply vanilla to stop the burn from everywhere... oh, and from now on I'm starting the grill.)

I THINK she might have sprayed too much PAM on the grill before lightning it. I know I've had some spectacular pyrotechnics with the stuff when I've applied it to my lit grill without thinking. At least that's what I hope it was; I'd hate to have it happen again.

So dinner was had, and it was good, even though one kabob didn't cook all the way through, and Cassandra whined about the cooked red pepper (because she doesn't like red pepper cooked, you see). During clean up I headed downstairs to put some things away and noticed the walls were looking... moist.

For background, our sump pump has a habit of needing us to manually trigger the float; when we let it go, the basement starts flooding. So I pulled off the cover and prodded the float with a handy-dandy piece of quarter-round left over from the houses construction...

... and watched as the sump pump FAILED to turn on.

I unplugged it, and then plugged it back in.

Nothing.

I went to the circuit breaker, tripped the proper breaker, powered it back on and tried the Float again.

Nothing.

I plugged something else to the socket to confirm the socket worked properly. It does. I plugged the pump back in.

Nothing.

So the sump pump is dead, I've got a tank nearly full of water, a basement on the verge of flooding...

... and apparently a trip to Lowe's in store for me tomorrow while I price out sump pumps and try to figure out A) can I install this myself, B) if I can, how will I drain the tank, and C) if I can't, who do I call that doesn't include limbs on their bill?

Hello Bad Day, unpleasant to see you, go the hell away. Now. Get. Shoo!

End of Demented Rambling.

Semi-Vegetarian

2010-03-09T13:51:00.002-05:00

Ok, so on the 2nd I went to my doctor for a physical (trying to keep up with those preventative check-ups, you know?). We got the results back and they were... well, mixed. On the plus side of things, my overall cholesterol was well within acceptable amounts, and my blood work showed absolutely average for any indicators of Type II Diabetes. On the negative, my triglycerides are through the roof. The verdict? Pretty much the one I knew I needed before I went: lose weight, and exercise more.

So exercising is already going on. I'm using the Wii Fit and the EA Sports Active exercise programs to help get my body used to working out again. Once I feel ready I'm going to join Lisa in doing the P90x program (probably one of the lower intensity programs). So we have the exercise change ready to go.

As far as my diet is concerned... well, the physical happened to time just right for Lisa's desire to start lowering the amount of meat we consume as a family. Even though vegetarian diets tend to actually lead to weight gain (lots of carbs), we're hoping that by going semi-vegetarian we can reduce the need to increase carbs, and even make it easier for me to go on no-carb diets, as my body seems to respond well to them.

We've been trying out some vegetarian dishes. Spinach & mushroom lasagna, a hot pot soup, vegetarian pot pie. Tonight we're doing a vegetarian chili. Lots of beans with this change of diet... and, correspondingly, a lot more [insert crude humor joke here].

I'll post as new things develop... and hopefully the posts will be good news!

End of Demented Rambling.

Movie Review: Shutter Island

2010-02-21T20:17:00.002-05:00

Last night Lisa and I went to see "Shutter Island" on the big screen. We had different reactions to it. But first, a little bias on my part. I am not a big mystery fan; I just can't seem to get through mystery books. My favorite murder mystery movie is "Murder By Death"... specifically because it makes fun of the genre (and it's funny as hell). I also enjoy the Nero Wolfe series that was on A&E because of how odd Wolfe is. But I've tried Patterson and others... and I just can't get into them. Further, I've avoided any movie with Leonardo Dicaprio like the plague. Yes, that includes Titanic. I don't know why... I've just never had a desire to watch him.

So with that out of the way, let's talk about Shutter Island.

We decided to go see this movie after viewing one trailer online. We both agreed that it looked like a fun, scary movie. Knowing little more than the trailer and that it was based on a book, we set off to see the movie the second night it was open.

Shutter Island is about a pair of Federal Marshals in the 1950s who go to a mental institution for the criminally insane in search of a patient who has vanished. The institution is on an island with only one way on or off - a ferry. Edward Daniels (Dicaprio) has a problem with water and we quickly learn of a tragedy in his past. His wife died in a fire in their apartment. The two Marshals are met with odd restrictions and resistance from the staff at the institution and quickly become trapped on the island due to a hurricane. The mystery deepens as we learn that Daniels has an a secret motive behind working this case and that all is not as it seems on Shutter Island... including a twist at the end of the movie.

There is some great acting in this movie. Dicaprio does a good job, though his character is so hard-boiled that there isn't much emotional range needed. When emotion is called for, however, Dicaprio does deliver. Further, Ben Kingsley does an excellent job as Dr. Cowley, the doctor in charge of the institution. You get a genuine sense that Cowley wants to help his patients with a more humane series of treatments than most psychiatric facilities provide during the time period. Even when I suspected that Cowley might be a nefarious genius behind diabolical experiments I STILL wanted him to be a good guy. Mark Ruffalo, on the other hand, comes off flat. At the end of the movie I had a hard time believing that his character was qualified for his job. (Yes I'm aware that my statement is vague, but I don't want to spoil anything.)

The visual quality of the movie is fantastic. There were no scenes in which I had any problems seeing what was going on because of lighting issues. The sets were well-designed, especially for the flashback scenes at the Dachau concentration camp.

The only production element I took issue with was the sound, though this might have been a problem with the theater's sound equipment. At one point there is a gun shot in the movie. The scene is meant to be suspenseful, and the gun shot is meant to make the audience jump - except that it can't because we're expecting it. I jumped anyway because the gun shot was so much louder than what I expected. I actually suspect that this was done intentionally - the director knew we weren't going to be shocked by a simple gun shot, so he increased the volume so we'd jump because our ear drums hurt so much.

Shutter Island was not a scary movie - the trailers are completely off. It isn't even really suspenseful. At no time did I worry about Daniels' life, and I'd figured out a lot of the plot elements before the real climax of the movie. The reality of the big twist threw me for a loop though, but not in a way that I appreciated because it failed to finish off what I had felt was a great movie. The story I had been enjoying was gone, replaced with... well, something else.

Don't get me wrong, I may not have liked the ending, but I don't regret having seen the movie. Further, the movie has gotten me interested in reading the book (purchased my copy today), and what better result can a movie inspired by a book have than to interest a viewer in reading the book?

If you haven't seen this movie, you should consider checking it out with no expectations of being scared. If you're a mystery fan there's a good chance you'll have a different reaction than I did. Lisa loved Shutter Island. If I actually had a rating system for movies, I'd give this a solid three Demented Ramblings out of five.

End of Demented Rambling.

Oh My Gods... Someone Reads This!

2010-02-19T14:56:00.002-05:00

I was just informed that my friend Tom Gerlitzki knew about my birthday... from reading this blog!

Someone reads this! I'm actually going to need to start watching what I say!

Ok, this is a crappy post after 10 days (but anyone reading this is used to MUCH LONGER breaks between posts), but I felt the silly need to acknowledge that someone is actually reading this. Yay!!!!

(Side Note: Mass Effect 2 rocks hard core. If you haven't played it, you should. If you don't have an Xbox 360... shame on you. If you don't have a PC that can run it... get a 360!!!)

End of Demented Rambling.

4 more days...

2010-02-09T23:09:00.002-05:00

Only four more days until I turn 30.

WOOHOO!!!!

I admit that this might be an odd reaction to turning 30. I mean, most people seem to try to ignore getting older, or pretend that somehow the aging process works in reverse for them. But what the hell, in four days I WILL HAVE SURVIVED UNTO A THIRD DECADE.

And frankly, I think that's a damn amazing thing.

I mean come on, we have soldiers out on multiple fronts, terrorist attacks all over, and an obscene crime rate (and think about this; crime rates only represent the reported crimes... High crime rate in your city? Your local PD must be doing SOMETHING right!). Drunk drivers are on our streets, not to mention the mental condition that turns nearly every Ohio driver into a complete moron when a little snow or rain hits the highway...

Yup. I don't deserve a purple star, but if someone bought me a coffee mug with some tasteless gag about turning 30, I'd drink from it every day with pride... you know, until I hit 40, and then I want a new mug! So that birthday present? I'll take it in pride, and all the good-natured ribbing and pranks, and even the spankings... but only from Lisa, and only in privacy!

The only bad thing about turning 30 is that damned colonoscopy I'm due for... I've had one, I know what it's like and I do not have to look forward to it! But, y'know, everything has its ups and downs.

Some come Saturday while everyone is out rushing around going "holy crap, tomorrow's Valentine's Day and I didn't get [significant other] ANYTHING!!!", take a moment to pause and go, "Happy 30th birthday, ya [insert tasteless nickname here]!", and drop an old-age joke on me!

End of Demented Rambling.

Ugh, Ugh, and (guess what) Ugh...

2010-02-06T14:22:00.003-05:00

Still in my bad habit of not updating this as often as I would like. Sorry about that folks!

My migraines continue, though most days I'm perfectly fine. Most days. Not today, but most days. Sucks to be me today. On the plus side, my doctor has had me taking high blood pressure medication as a preventative... so hopefully my naturally-high blood pressure has been coming back into the "normal" range. I keep meaning to stop by the machines at Wal-Mart or Kroger and find out, but never remember when I'm at either location.

One week till my birthday (and Cassandra's by default). And by some odd luck, our tax return money should be hitting around the 12th... just in time for me to run out and buy my birthday present... Mass Effect 2 (for the Xbox 360)! I'm excited to get it. Just replayed the first one so I'd have a save game from recent memory to import over. Eric already got the game and has been making me jealous by telling me things about it (I don't think he's purposefully making me jealous... but that doesn't help). MUST HAVE GAME!!!!

We also went ahead and told Gamefly we wanted to keep Dragon Age: Origins... good thing too, because I'd had it since before Thanksgiving! I got the codes that come with retail purchases as well, so I have the special armor available in that game and Mass Effect 2 as well as the free DLC for Dragon Age. Yay!!!

Playing so much Mass Effect has gotten me wanting to write up the setting for the Savage Worlds RPG. Why Savage Worlds? No idea, really, but I keep wanting to do it SPECIFICALLY for SW, so I think there must be a reason (seriously, I've considered GURPS, Alternity, HERO, Trinity/Aeon, etc. and nothing else appeals to me).Maybe I should post some thoughts on the blog as I actually work on it. I'll think about it.

I've also been wanting to play a game of Trail of Cthulhu (powered by GUMSHOE). I'm going to be writing my first adventure for it soon... I'm just still trying to figure out how many scenes I want, and consider a line of clues to use to help the players reach the climax. I really like the ideas behind GUMSHOE, and I think it can create an awesome game. I still want to read "Fear Itself" and "The Essoterrorists" to see some other points of view on GUMSHOE. Add to that list "Realms of Cthulhu" and "Hellfrost" for Savage Worlds... they look like great campaigns!

(y'know, there's too much RPG-goodness out there... I'd need three of me to read EVERYTHING I want to check out, much less run the games.)

That's enough for right now. Talk to you all next year (ok, hopefully not, right?)

End of Demented Rambling.

Dragon Age: Origins Has Taken My Soul

2009-12-26T13:32:00.002-05:00

Ok, the title may be a TAD melodramatic. But it's not far wrong...

I am currently on my 4th time playing through the game... in a row... with no other game in between (excepting Sims 3 on occasion, but that's also WHILE I'm playing Dragon Age). This is unusual for me; normally I need to play something else before I can go back to a game. Take it as a warning: Dragon Age: Origins is a good game that is highly addictive.

Bioware has a long history of excellent roleplaying games. Baldur's Gate, Planescape: Torment, Icewind Dale, Knights of the Old Republic, Neverwinter Nights, Mass Effect... when Bioware comes out with an RPG, you can expect quality, and Dragon Age: Origins is no exception. While the majority of their previous work was set in settings from either Star Wars or licensed Dungeons & Dragons campaign worlds, Dragon Age takes place in a completely new world called Thedas, specifically in the nation of Ferelden. The game's writers have taken the time to come up with a compelling setting and include considerable detail for the players to enjoy.

The storyline is simple. The Maker created Thedas and the Fade (a place where mortals go when they dream or die, inhabited by both benign and malevolent spirits). In the center of the Fade was the Golden City, where The Maker dwelt until he turned his back on the world out of anger at mankind's sin of worshiping other gods (which may have simply been ancient and powerful dragons; the histories of the setting allow for either possibility). Before he left, the Maker banished these seven gods deep beneath the Earth, below even where the dwarves dwelt, leaving them to slumber. This didn't stop Dumas, the greatest of these gods/dragons, from communicating with the mage-ruled Tervinter Imperium and convincing them to travel into the Fade, find the Golden City, and attempt to usurp the Maker's power. The mages found the Golden City, but upon entering it the Maker spoke one last time, condemning them for tainting the Golden City with their sin. The Golden City turned black, and the mages were twisted into a new creature, the Dark Spawn.

The Dark Spawn returned to the world and hid beneath the earth. Their numbers swelled and they searched for the old gods deep below, all the while fighting the dwarves for control of the depths. Finally the Dark Spawn found Dumas' slumbering form and their taint corrupted the ancient god/dragon, turning it into a new creature: The Archdemon. The Archdemon led the hordes of the Dark Spawn into a Blight that threatened to consume all of Thedas. The dwarven empire was almost overrun, reduced to two main cities. The Blight swarmed above ground and nearly destroyed humanity. The Dark Spawn took prisoners (whether the prisoners were consumed as food or corrupted into new Dark Spawn remained unknown), and even when defeated their blood carried their taint and sickened any who came into contact with, twisting or killing them. All seemed lost until a new group appeared: The Grey Wardens, a collection of Humans, Dwarves, and Elves who had mastered the Taint and gained not only the power to sense the Dark Spawn (and also be sensed by them), but also the power to kill the immortal Archdemon and end the Blight.

The Grey Wardens fulfilled their task and ended the first Blight, but they were unable to eradicate the Dark Spawn. The Dark Spawn retreated back below the earth where only the dwarves needed to face them (indeed, the surface thought they had been destroyed). Again the Dark Spawn searched and found another ancient god, creating a new Archdemon and beginning a second Blight. Again the Blight rose to the surface, and again the Grey Wardens put a stop to it. There have been four Blights since the beginning, and each time the Grey Wardens have destroyed the Archdemon and sent the Dark Spawn into a retreat to the depths of the planet.

Dragon Age: Origins takes place during a new Blight, one that has yet to be fully realized. You play a new recruit to the Grey Wardens who is quickly thrust into the role of defending all of Thedas from the Blight. What type of character you play is up to you. Dragon Age offers several options for character creation. You can choose to play either a human, elf, or dwarf, gaining bonuses to your starting attributes based on the race you select and a couple options of what origin you want for your character. After race you select class, which will define what abilities you gain throughout the game. You may play either a Warrior, Rogue, or Mage; you select different Talents to enable to new abilities to provide some customization to these classes. Later in the game you can select one or two specializations to further customize your character's abilities. After you choose your class you need to select an origin, limited by both class and race and affecting how the game begins for you.

The origins available are nice, but seem limited in number. You may choose either the Mage Origin (all Mages MUST select this origin), Human Noble, City Elf, Dhalish Elf, Dwarf Noble, or Dwarf Commoner. It's a nice number of origins, and certainly having unique play experiences put a limit on the practical number of origins Bioware could include, but it still feels oddly lacking. Why can't you play a human commoner? Why can you only be from two of the multiple dwarven castes? It wouldn't feel so jarring if humans had a choice between the Mage and the Noble origins. Still, of the four origins I've played, each of them have been interesting and fun to play through, and have provided a different perspective on the game each time.

The controls for the Xbox 360 version of the game are simple. You have a basic attack button, as well as 6 "hotkey" slots that you can fill with Talents or Items you commonly use. A radial menu can be accessed mid-combat, pausing the game and allowing you to choose from all options and items. Targeting an enemy is done with the d-pad, and you can cycle through your party members to issue commands, or use the Tactics option to direct the computer on how you want the party member to act while you aren't in control. The allows the player to keep the action focused on one character at a time, while still making certain the other party members are acting the way you would want them to.

As you progress through the game you interact with a large number of NPCs, including the companions who make up your party. Conversations have a large impact on the game, as do certain choices or actions. You can gain and lose companions based on your decisions. In one play through, I chose to work with cult so I could gain access to a specialization they offered to teach me. My actions infuriated one party member so much that she left my party permanently. In another game, one comment turned a potential party member against me and I had to fight her to the death (also preventing me from adding her to the party). So while in the game be careful what you say and do; your actions have consequences.

There are multiple endings to achieve in the game, and the overall storyline is excellent. Bioware has also committed to releasing download content which expands the game as you play. Two downloadable missions were available on release and a third was in the works (and may even be released by now). Your origin affects the rest of the game. You will encounter characters from your origin later on, becoming either your enemy or ally. All of this allows for high replay value from Dragon Age: Origins.

I've enjoyed this game considerably, and I'm looking forward to completing it (again) and going through yet another new origin. I haven't had the opportunity to get any of the downloadable content yet, but I hope to try it soon. If you haven't had the chance to play this game yet, and you enjoy RPGs (especially Bioware's past offerings), I highly recommend checking out Dragon Age: Origins, available for PC, Xbox 360, and PS3.

(ok... where's my money for talking nice about the game? just kidding folks... I meant every word!)

End of Demented Rambling.

One Step Closer to Playing!

2009-12-09T21:54:00.002-05:00

I'm one step closer to getting my Hunter game for Eric started on Google Wave! I just finished writing a document file detailing the beastie featured in the first story. I'm actually quite proud of it! If White Wolf were doing some sort of Hunter the Vigil Monster Book I'd think about trying to submit the document for consideration (or altering it for submission).

I've got a few Google Wave threads started for the game. Now all I'm really waiting for is for Eric to get done with his school work for the quarter so he can post his character and we can get the ball rolling. I've got a few trivial things I want to work on (posting a few more house rules to the appropriate thread, doing an outline for the story, developing a few background cases for him, etc), but otherwise I feel ready to go!

I'm really looking forward to this. I think Hunter the Vigil is a great game, and I've wanted to run/play ever since I read the demo at a game shop. I'm excited that I'm going to get the chance to play, and have an opportunity to try Google Wave as a gaming platform. I've been reading about the experiences other people have been having with roleplaying over Google Wave, and I think this will be fun!

I know this is a short post, but I hope to put more up later. Until then, I hope everyone takes it easy and has a good time with life!

End of Demented Rambling.

Over a Month!

2009-11-30T17:38:00.002-05:00

Fantastic! New personal record!

... I got to set a schedule up for myself so I can stay current with this blog.

To sum up: I've been busy with work and the family. Yes, that's your general summery for the day. I know it's cheap after a whole month without a post, but there you go.

Personal to-do list:

1) Write a review of Dragon Age: Origins. I've been playing it a lot, and I toyed with an outline for the review already, but didn't finish.

2) Kill Me Please, part 3! Yes, I'm going to keep writing Lucas Moon's adventure! Yes, you'll love it! No, you don't have a choice!

3) Work on a Hunter the Vigil game for Google Wave and talk more about using this new tool for online gaming.

4) Review "Paranormal Activity" and "The Fourth Kind"... I've actually gone to the movies recently, and I can share my opinions with the masses on the internet (isn't that what blogs are for)?

5) Stuff. Yes, stuff. I like stuff. You like stuff. If you followed George Carlin, you know that we're all looking for places to put our stuff.

So that's it for now. I'll try something later. Hopefully not a month later this time.

End of Demented Rambling.

Google Wave looks fantastic!

2009-10-22T09:24:00.003-04:00

So I've been sick. Days off of work, a bad case of laryngitis, you know.

Sick.

(Is this not how you expected this to start? It ties in together - trust me.)

After losing my voice completely on Monday of last week, I was at my doctor's office Tuesday. Got some antibiodics and a steroid prescribed to me. I then went on my way and had a week off with no talking (Lisa was in heaven). Come Monday of this week I went back to work... for a few hours, but had to leave early because my voice was failing again. Out of the steroids and concerned that there was something wrong with me other than my original diagnosis I went BACK to my doctor that Tuesday.

(Quick add: having health insurance again is a gods-send...)

So I get to sit in the waiting room for a bit, no biggie. I pick up a copy of... hmm... I think it was Time Magazine, and I notice this headline on the cover about an article on something called "Google Wave".

(Promised you it all tied-in.)

Curious I checked out the article, and... well... noted it as something for future curiosity, but didn't think much about it. Later I was speaking with my friend Eric who was really excited about having finally found a group of gamers in Madison, WI where he's going to school. He mentioned that the group wanted to try using Google Wave as a means to host roleplaying games since they all live a fair distance from each other.

Whaaaat? This bore a little more investigation.

So when I got home from getting my new steroid I did a little google-fu and quickly found Google Wave's demonstration videos. I started to watch so I could see what this app was actually meant for.

I'm impressed.

Imagine fusing e-mail and instant messaging with document publishing and pretty much every other form of communication used through the internet with the exception of voice. That's what you get with Google Wave. You start a new conversation (or as they call it, a Wave) and then add recipients who then get to see the Wave live. From this point they can send replies (like normal e-mail), if multiple Wave members are online they can respond instantly, just like an IM (and you'll actually see what they're typing AS they type it no "Grant is typing" messages that might mean I'm typing to someone else or responding to you). You can go into previous messages and post a reply mid-message to draw attention to the fact that you're only responding to that particular point (a bit more organic method than the current "all comments after the whole body of text" method we currently use). You can even go back and edit a previous post; say you're planning a trip with someone and using a Wave to create a list of activities to do on that trip... by editing the original message those new ideas can be compiled in one spot (easier to reference), and someone can post a reply right under that idea (issuing a complaint or focusing a question), or even edit your idea further to build on it. If you want to know what the ORIGINAL post (or any earlier post) looked like, they have a "playback" feature where you can revisit the history of the Wave.

Pictures can be uploaded, blogs and social networking sites can be added as members of the Wave (allowing instant posting of that Wave to the blog or network site... which others can then in turn use to interact with the Wave)... It looks like a great business application for communication and facilitation, and I can see it having a lot of private user applications as well.

So now I'm all excited about it, and want to try it out. The only problem is, Google Wave is available by invitation only, and they're hard to get. Mostly just developers and industry folks at this point. But wait, didn't I say Eric & his friends were going to have inivites? I sure did! And I coolly asked for one. The deal was this: I play in the game, I get the invite. I've accepted the offer, though I haven't gotten my invite yet (hell, the offer was just made last night at around 10:00). Just to play it safe, I've requested an invite from the Google Wave staff as well... hopefully going both routes will get me one!

(Anyone reading this have invites to send out? I'll take one!)

How would gaming work over Wave? Well, I've got a few things to iron out. First, there's no dice app. This isn't such a horrible thing; there are lots of dice apps online. Second, we'd need a way to see encounter maps... which I can post a pic, but I'm not sure about updating to facilitate combat in an organic manner, unless Wave already has an image editor built into it. (I guess I could always make the images layered and use GIMP to change different layers to match, but that will take some time.)

Other than those technical details (and I confess, they aren't insignificant) here's how I see a game session running:

(Assume that anything starting with a > would be text in the Wave.... '>' is only a place-holder to show where the Wave starts.)

1) I (assume I'm running it for the moment) start a new wave:

> Game Session October 22, 2009

2) I post a quick recap of the previous session as part of my first post to refresh everyone's memories.

> Recap of previous session: Last time you decided to explore the rumors of a haunted castle in the Thundercrag mountains. To reach the mountains you had to brave the dark forest of Venomleaf. Here's a quick list of what happened:

You first heard the rumor while at the Greenscale Tavern in Wyrmoth; apparently the former lords had amassed a large horde and then turned on one another in greed, murdering each other. Now their ghosts haunt the castle.
You reached the Venomleaf Forest with no problems; you had a small encounter with a merchant who tried to swindle you, but you saw through his lies and didn't buy any of his fake charms.
You navigated the forest, but discovered that it was inhabited by a tribe of feral elves. You stumbled into an ambush (failed that Skill Challenge!) and ended up getting captured.
The elves were going to have you for dinner, but their shaman came up with an alternative; you retake the daughter of the tribe's Chief from the green dragon Venomleaf, and they'd provide you with a guide to the mountains.
You found Venomleaf's lair and have explored through two levels of it, facing some guardians (plant monsters and other such creatures) and traps.
We ended the session with the party at the top of a flight of stairs going deeper into the lair, and you each made Perception checks to hear the sound of loud, heavy breathing and smell the rank, foul air down below.

3) Now I can continue with the next text in my Wave. I could either reply to my previous post to break the two apart, or just continue in the same body. We'll assume I continued.

> When you decide to go down the stairs: The darkness down below is oppressive. The stairs wind, making your torchlight's reach quite limited. Drops of condensation fall periodically, startling you at times. The air grows more foul the lower you get. At the bottom of the stairs you find a large set of double doors - wide enough for three of you to squeeze through at one time. The doors are carved with ornate images of a dragon clutching a forest in it's claws while smoke or fumes spread from it's mouth.

What do you do?

4) At this point my job is done, and the players get to interact. Now, someone might want to edit my recap and point out their favorite part of the last session; I'll represent that with a new '>' and the speaker with [name]: to represent that the Wave would identify the speaker.

You first heard the rumor while at the Greenscale Tavern in Wyrmoth; apparently the former lords had amassed a large horde and then turned on one another in greed, murdering each other. Now their ghosts haunt the castle.
You reached the Venomleaf Forest with no problems; you had a small encounter with a merchant who tried to swindle you, but you saw through his lies and didn't buy any of his fake charms.
You navigated the forest, but discovered that it was inhabited by a tribe of feral elves. You stumbled into an ambush (failed that Skill Challenge!) and ended up getting captured.
The elves were going to have you for dinner, but their shaman came up with an alternative; you retake the daughter of the tribe's Chief from the green dragon Venomleaf, and they'd provide you with a guide to the mountains.

> [Eric]: I still say we could have taken them! This deal was stupid, we could have wiped the floor with them!

> [John]: You're insane.

You found Venomleaf's lair and have explored through two levels of it, facing some guardians (plant monsters and other such creatures) and traps.

> [John]: I really liked that trap with the living vines.

> [Grant]: Me too! Had a lot of fun coming up with that one!

We ended the session with the party at the top of a flight of stairs going deeper into the lair, and you each made Perception checks to hear the sound of loud, heavy breathing and smell the rank, foul air down below.

5) You can see above that I've included multiple responses to indicate the more organic, conversational nature of what I foresee with a gaming Wave. Future responses would be similar in nature.

Like I said, right now I'm not sure how you would handle combat maps and dice rolling... I have tools to do all of that online, but let's face it, that won't really test out using Google Wave for this sort of thing, now will it?

Another feature I like is that I could post the whole session right to this blog, allowing players to review the whole thing whenever they want, even if they're not signed into Google Wave, and also allowing my blog readers (the whole, what, 1 of you?) to see the session as well, and possibly comment.

So to sum up: Google Wave looks like a great app to facilitate conversations, and I really can't wait to try it out!

End of Demented Rambling.

Blech

2009-10-12T16:09:00.002-04:00

Wow. I think this might be the longest time between posts. Ever.

I've been busy. Lisa & the kids were sick for a while (Lisa isn't 100% better yet). Lisa also started back to school, and that's consumed a lot of her time. Meanwhile, I've gotten their cold (blech). I've had to call off a few times, but today I went in.

Apparently, this was a mistake.

My voice is gone.

My throat feels swollen.

I cannot shake the feeling that I've progressed to strep throat.

At the very least, work is hazardous to my voice right now. I mean, this is bad. It hurts to swallow, hurts to talk (not that I really can). And the worst part? My voice was gone by 2:00 today. I went to a supervisor and asked what I could do. The response I got? "It's Monday, so I can't just send you home. If you want to leave you can, but it will be an occurance." (not an exact quote.) I was served with 2 occurances today from previous days I'd called off, and after 6 you can potentially be terminated. So I stayed. And my voice got worse. And people had problems understanding me.

Hurray for work.

So if my voice is still like this tomorrow I'll be calling off and contacting my doctor. They can just try to serve me with an occurance with a doctor's excuse. What bullshit. I followed all of the rules; I'm only supposed to be penalized for no-call no-shows... neither of which happened. Hell, I've called off before with no penalty whatsoever!

The next time someone nominates work for "Best Place to Work" I think I'll ask them how much they get paid for their nomination. This treatment is intolerable.

End of Demented Rambling.

Evony Review

2009-09-24T15:32:00.001-04:00

Free Browser Game Review: Evony

A game with several flaws that still delivers an addictive play experience.

If you frequent sites such as RPG.net or Facebook, you will likely have seen banner ads of buxom women in medieval garb asking how they may serve you. And at some point you will decide to click on one of those banners and see what this game is all about. You may indeed be surprised to discover that Evony, the game advertised on these banners, is actually a real-time strategy massively multiplayer online game. I certainly was. Once you get over this surprise you might decide to create an account, log in to a server, and begin to build your empire.

This was my first experience with Evony. I lept straight in, with no instructions whatsoever to get me started. I selected a name for my account, Lothair, and selected at random a server, in this case 63. Picking a name for my city (originally Lorraine, until I realized there was a nation with the same name; currently by city is called Wroat as an homage to the Eberron Campaign Setting).Getting started was simple; a Quest tab gave me several suggested actions in return for a reward in resources and allowed me to get started with building cottages to increase my city's population, farms to feed my subjects, and other sources of necessary resources.

Shortly after my introduction to Evony I was contacted by a nearby neighbor, Asterix who invited me to join the Alliance he hosted, known as TheGauls. I probed Asterix with several questions, and joined his Alliance out of gratitude for the prompt answers. This has turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made in the game. My Alliance is very active, full of friendly members quick to help each other whenever needed. If reading this review persuades you to try Evony out, I strongly encourage you to start you city in Friesland and then get in contact with a member of TheGauls and ask for an invitation; it will greatly aid you in getting started.

Having played for a week now, I have come to find a number of very positive points for Evony, but also several flaws with the game. To begin with the positive, Evony starts its players off with a week-long beginner's period that allows new players the opportunity to work on building their city without worry of being attacked during that period. As my Alliance went to war with another Alliance, it was a great comfort to know that I could keep building in safety.

Evony is also game that does not require a great deal of attention. You can get working on a project in your city, like upgrading a building, and then walk away content that your attention is not need for a few minutes (or hours when you get to higher levels of upgrades). I can happily sign on as I eat my breakfast, decide what to work on while I'm gone, and then leave for work knowing that there is nothing else I could do while I was gone. After I return from work me projects will (mostly) be finished, and my city will be ready for me to choose new projects. The only downside to this is that if I'm looking forward to working on several projects for the night I'll be disappointed, because upgrading a building might take half a day or more, leaving me with little to do until I finish that project, or restore my expended resources.

A key element to gameplay in Evony is attacking other players. A variety of cities will surround yours. Some will be NPCs, but many will be ruled by other live players. Beyond cities there are other areas (collectively called Valleys) that provide a boost to a particular type of resource production if you control it. Attacking an area might allow you to conquer it, or you may just plunder the area, allowing your armies to return with a fresh supply of a resource. Marching to attack a city or valley takes a certain amount of real time, though the fighting takes place in the blink of an eye. As I write this review, my armies are returning from attack a rival city 17.3 miles away from Wroat. They still have 46 minutes, 30 seconds until they are back in my city and ready to march again. This is both a benefit and a curse, for while I can rest easy knowing that I will have time before any opponents attack my currently defenseless city, I know that it will take at least two hours for the gratification of getting to attack my opponent again, and there is nothing else I can do in the game. My forces are all committed, my city is busy upgrading a barracks, and my academies still have an hour to go with their current research, and I don't have the resources to produce enough additional troops to be worth the time.

This is my major complaint with Evony. While I love that I can leave for work and see the results of my labors upon my return, I agonize over the lack of things I can do at a time. I am capable of building multiple barracks in a city, allowing me to produce a different type of troop in each barracks, albeit limited in numbers based on my resources, and a second Academy in another city would allow me more research options. However, I can only work on one building project per city. I can't even build another building to allow more production, or just create a queue to get started. Time is your most valuable resource in Evony, and the long production times eventually lead to waste. Is it better to upgrade a single building to a higher level when I could choose to upgrade multiple other buildings in the same time frame, but get a smaller return from those upgrades? That's a major aspect of gameplay, but it would be nice to know that I could get my next upgrade started while I was gone. Even if I could only have 2 projects in my building queue, one currently being worked on and another ready to go, it would still allow me to feel like I was maximizing my time more efficiently.

In terms of a technical review, Evony plays with fine on my browser, though I have experienced trouble at time when I first load it. Whether this is because of an issue with Google Chrome, or just a flaw in the game's code I am uncertain. Usually reloading the page clears up the trouble, and takes little time. So it's a minor irritation, but it is there nonetheless. I also feel the game could have a better layout. Canceling an attacking army requires you to navigate into first the Reports tab, then Army Movement, and then finally clicking on the report for the individual army that I want to recall. And during this whole time there is a progress bar showing how long it will take for my army to reach its destination. Why not just put a cancel button next to that bar and let me cancel it with a single click? Other odd layout choices could be cleared up with a slight change to layout. A “buy” or “sell” button next to a resource could easily make using the marketplace more intuitive. There are other areas where things could be cleared up to make things easier for the player, but these are good examples to get things started, and listing too many of them would make these flaws seem like they take more away from the game than they really do. Each of the flaws are surmountable, but the fact that there are so many of them makes me wonder why the game designers decided to create the game the way they did.

In conclusion, Evony is a fun game. People who love the strategy involved in managing multiple resources while challenging other players will enjoy this game. Despite the fun of this game, there are several flaws that I hope the designers are able to clear up with a patch to the game. Despite these flaws, the large players base says it all; people are having fun playing this game, and so am I. I encourage you to sign up a free account and try it out for yourself. If you do, send a message to Lothair and I'll get you in touch with a fun Alliance who can help answer questions and make navigating the game easier.

Don't bug me!

2009-09-21T07:11:00.002-04:00

Ok, it's been a couple of weeks since my last post... again. If any of you actively read this, I'm sorry.

This weekend has failed to be relaxing in any way. We found fleas on the cats, again, and decided to take drastic measures. 3 foggers and an evacuated house later, and we hope we've seen the last of our flea infestation. Had to spend a good chunk of Saturday at my parents' house while they were away in France (hope you guys are having fun!), with the cats confined to a single bathroom, and Lisa, Lex and myself enjoying the slaughter... I mean football game (Caleb & Cassandra were at the other house).

Sunday was largely spent trying to put everything back in place, wash, wipe-down, and vacuum the house. Lisa re-arranged the living room furniture... still not sure what I think of it, but she likes it and so do the kids, so I guess my opinion is over-ruled regardless!

That's all for now... I need to leave for work in a few minutes. Coming soon will be a review of the browser-based game Evony I've been playing for the last week or so!

End of Demented Rambling.

Friday the 13th: Remake!

2009-08-30T22:57:00.003-04:00

So Lisa and I just watched Friday the 13th (the new one, not the original). I went into with mixed feelings. I wanted to watch it mainly because Jared Padalecki stars in it (for any Supernatural fans out there, that would be the actor who plays Sam), and because I liked the original Ft13, though I never watched any of the rest of the series. I'd heard some bad things about this movie however, and many times remakes don't live up to our expectations. So what to think about this movie?

I liked it!

What, you want more? Ok!

This movie isn't really a remake of the original. It's a retelling of the series, with elements from several of the movies. Rather than being an origin of the slasher we know (and love) as Jason, the new Ft13 gives us a brief bit of history (basically the final confrontation with Mrs. Vorhees in the original) where we get to see Jason discover his mother's dead body. We also hear Mrs. Vorhees' voice whispering in Jason's head to punish 'them' (if you don't know the history of the series you might not realize that this means horney teens, because you might miss her explanation of why she's killing people).

Cut to something like 20 years later. We get a long extended scene where we meet a group of campers who are exploring the woods near Camp Crystal Lake in search of some marijuana that is supposed to be growing in the woods. All of these characters lack any memorable qualities to them other than Whitney, who ends up being a major character. We get to watch Jason butcher all the campers, right after some gratuitous sex (because all 80's Slasher-flicks need gratuitous sex... I think there's actually a law somewhere demanding it). The screen fades to black right as Jason is about to strike Whitney, leaving her fate a mystery, and cutting to the title of the film.

Six weeks later...

A group of kids (maybe teenagers, more likely college students) are going to spend the weekend at "Trent's" family home in the woods (across the lake from the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake!!). Trent is a major asshole, and we get that impression right from the beginning when he is waiting in line to pay for his gas and starts bitching because Clay Miller (Padalecki) is talking to the cashier, trying to hang a flier for his missing sister, Whitney (see how that all ties back around?). Trent tries to claim that Clay is an "asshole" because he's stopping him from paying for his gas and going. Clay stays very non-confrontational and does his best to ignore Trent. Trent's girlfriend, Jenna, sympathises with Clay and gets pissed at Trent for they way he's acting.

Clay continues travelling around the area, trying to ask locals if they've seen his sister. He has an encounter with the local sherrif who tells Clay to give it up; they've already searched for Whitney and her friends, and turned up nothing. The sherrif thinks maybe she ran off with her boyfriend. Clay protests that Whitney wouldn't do that; their mother just died of cancer, and until this trip Whiteny took care of her every day. When Whitney didn't show for the funeral, Clay knew there was a problem and came looking. Clay continues his search, with no luck, though one local tells him that "missing" in this area means "dead" and he should just get out of there while he still can.

Trent & co get to his house. We soon discover that Trent can't really stand his "friends" and that he basically invited them for the weekend so he could show off how rich his family is. He tries to convince Jenna to go have sex with him, but she's not up for it; she'd rather go hiking, and she's pissed at the way he's treating everybody. (Side note; Trent is played by "Travis Van Winkle"... his name even sounds like a rich asshole's name! He looks the part too, and every movie I've seen him in, he's an asshole... talk about born to a role...)

Two of Trent's friends decide to check out the other side of the lake, and Trent lends them his car to prove that he can be nice to everyone... then he asks them to take gas to the family boat and threatens his friend if they take the boat on the lake. The pair leave and immediately make plans to go water skiing. Clay shows up at the house, still looking for Whitney. Jenna invites him in to get something to drink, but Trent throws a fit. Jenna, now completely pissed at Trent, offers to go with Clay to the other side of the river.

As the two walk we learn that Clay and Whitney have had a major falling out; Clay skipped out on his family when he was 17, and the last time he and Whitney spoke they got into a fight. Guilt is part of what's motivating him to look for her.

Meanwhile, remember the two idiots who went along to the other side of the lake? Well we get to see more gratuitous topless scenes (note: in a Slasher, topless means "we're done with you, time to die"). The boyfriend is shot in the head with an arrow (I love that part, he even turns and "poses" for the camera), and the girlfriend is clipped by the boat. This doesn't kill her though... we save that for Jason, who stabs her in the head with a machete (another nice death scene).

At the camp Clay and Jenna get the creeps while exploring the place (it's night now, and the place is ruined... a natural reaction). As they leave they spot Jason coming into the camp and hide. There they realize he's carrying a dead body. Jason realizes that someone is there, but can't find them. He goes on to the caverns he's using as his home while Clay and Jenna flee back to Trent's house. Down in the caverns we discover Whitney alive and chained.

Confused? Well, that's because I left something out... Whitney resembles Mrs. Vorhees in her younger years. Jason's being sentimental because of the resemblance. It's mentioned early on, I just didn't feel the need to say anything.

At Trent's house Trent and his friend Bree have decided to go have sex (woo hoo, the asshole is real faithful to his girlfriend). This has some great dialogue... ok, not great but it's funny because Trent can't stop saying how great Bree's breasts are (yup, more gratuitous sex!).

Clay and Jenna arrive, Jason following, and the killing begins. First he kills off two of the other friends (I haven't mentioned them yet because they're really not that important... which is unfortunate, because they're the token Asian and Black Guy you often find in these films, and they really could have been made into much more interesting characters). Then, while Trent is yelling at Jenna for being gone 8 hours with Clay (he claims they've been having sex all over the woods), Jason kills Bree. Trent goes for a gun, but starts shooting everything. The sherrif shows up... and Jason kills him. Trent, Jenna, and Clay make a break for it. Trent dies. Finally.

Jenna and Clay make it back to Camp Crystal Lake (minor nitpick... it's still night, but the way they've made things sound it takes a few hours at least to get there... wouldn't it be daylight by now?) and discover Whitney. And then....

Nope. Not doing it. See the movie.

(Here's a hint. Remember the VERY END of the original? When Jason jumps out of the water and grabs the girl in the boat? Last scene is an homage to that, but different in its own way.)

Like I said, I liked it. It has some story issues, but most slashers do. And we don't watch slasher for the story so much. We watch them because we like the villain, we like the violence, and we like the gratuitous chest shots! This movie gets about 4 out of 5 from me. Give it a chance, it makes for a great entry point to restart the whole series with fresh material.

End of Demented Rambling.

Ding, Dong, The Crib is GONE!!!

2009-08-19T19:39:00.003-04:00

Not gone as in, broken or destroyed.

Gone as in, not in our bedroom anymore!

Yay!!!!!

Finally, Lisa and I might be able to sleep through night without Lex joining us in bed!!!

Seriously, if you don't understand the JOY this brings us, I think something might be wrong with you!

End of demented rambling.

Repo: The Genetic Opera

2009-08-18T20:34:00.004-04:00

We just picked up the DVD release of Repo! The Genetic Opera the other day. This was a direct-to-DVD release of the cult classic musical of the same name. Lisa and I first encountered this during a preview of the film at the Scream Award Ceremonies on Spike TV. I became interested in it and finally rented it when it first came out. We finally got around to buying it the other day.

I love this movie, and I don't normally like musicals.

(Ignore Chicago, Sweeney Todd, and Into the Woods... seriously, I don't like musicals... these are exceptions... really...)

The story is set in the future, when GeneCo, a company specializing in organ replacement surgeries, has saved mankind by perfecting organ transplants. They've created a system where customers can finance their surgeries, obtaining organs they desperately need, but can't necessarily afford at the time. But there's a catch; until that financing is paid off, the organs belong to GeneCo, and if you miss a payment, GeneCo wants its property back. To regain their organs they send out the Repo Man, a special employee who surgically removes the organ, ending the defaulting customer's life in the process.

The current Repo Man is a former doctor who cares for his ailing daughter, Shiloh, who has recently turned 17. Shiloh suffers from the same unnamed condition that took her mother's life before Shiloh was born (her father was able to save her, but at the cost of his wife's life). With Shiloh as his only family left, he keeps her locked away in their house, claiming that she can't leave because of the strict medication schedule needed to keep her sickness at bay.

Like most 17 year olds, Shiloh has found a way around this. She has learned to pick the lock to her door and escape through secret tunnels to the outside world where she collects bugs and revels in being outside (these tunnels are actually used by her father when he's acting as the Repo Man... though she has no idea of his secret identity). While outside, Shiloh encounter the story's narrator, a character called Graverobber (played by one of the opera's writers in both the film and the theatrical productions). Graverobber collects some kind of fluid from corpes to create Zydrate, a drug that takes away the agony of surgery... and is highly addictive. He peddles this drug to addicts on the street. Graverobber gets Shiloh in trouble to save his own skin, and Shiloh is saved from GeneCo's security forces (who mistake her for a graverobber) by the Repo Man (remember, she doesn't know about the Repo Man or that he's her father).

Later Shiloh escapes again, and meets Rotti Largo, the founder and CEO of GeneCo, who is dying of a fatal disease and trying to decide which of his three degenerate children he will leave GeneCo to. Shiloh becomes worried about what will happen to here and flees, being saved by Graverobber (who perhaps feels guilty about using her before). Graverobber educates Shiloh about Zydrate's uses (though he doesn't use it on her), and we encounter Rotti's daughter (Amber Sweet), who is addicted to Zydrate (at the same time that she is in charge of a Zydrate-addict support group) and comes to Graverobber to keep her addiction a secret. Amber is insaely jealous of Blind Mag, GeneCo's most visible representative (Mag has eyes given to her by GeneCo, and is the star attraction of their "genetic opera" which fans flock to in order to testify about how GeneCo has changed their lives, and to hear Mag sing). Amber wants Mag's spotlight badly, and hates comparisons between the two of them (perhaps uncosciously knowing that she can't compete with Mag's voice). When Shiloh makes a comment about Mag around Amber, the dilletante goes into a rage swearing that Mag's spotlight will be her's just as soon as the Repo Man takes care of her.

See, Mag is leaving GeneCo, but there's a fine print to her contract: she got her eyes in exchange for representing GeneCo, and should she ever leave they get the eyes back. Mag is aware of this, and doesn't care. Shiloh is panicked by this, and her panic becomes worse as GeneCo security tracks them down (they're looking for Amber). Graverobber helps Shiloh out again, and gets her home.

There, Shiloh encounters Mag, who turns out to be Shiloh's godmother! Mag had been told that Shiloh had died with her mother, and wants only to meet Shiloh. When Shiloh's father returns Shiloh begs him to help Mag, but the two bicker instead, with Shiloh's father refusing.

The next night is the Genetic Opera, Mag's last performance, and the moment when Rotti plans on revealing his terminal condition and naming his heir. I've left out a lot of background, and I won't continue the tale, because I don't want to ruin it for anyone. It's a great film though, and I highly encourage anyone with a stomach for gory effects (think about what the Repo Man does) to check it out and give it a fair chance.

End of Demented Rambling.

It makes me want to scream!!!

2009-08-18T19:58:00.002-04:00

Ok, work has SUCKED for the last couple of days.

To explain why, let me first educate you on the "sales" process at Safelite. The day begins when you log into your phone, which inexplicably you into the "Aux Work" status. I say inexplicably because this is a mode intended to be used only to make outbound calls (something we rarely need to do in Sales), and you are marked down if your stats indicate that you spend more than .6% of your time in this state without cause (i.e. not making a call). To avoid having my "Aux Work w/out Cause" time from being astronomical, you immediately hit the "Auto In" button, putting you into the call queue. On a busy day this means you immediately have a call coming in.

Now, these calls can be for 2 reasons: Either you A) Have someone calling in who already has an order and needs to make some change to it (cancellation, reschedule, or really just wants to know where their mobile tech is), or you have B) Some form of a sales call. A little voice proceeds the call to give you some sort of helpful cue about what kind of call it is, and which business it is for (Belron U.S., the company that owns Safelite, also owns 7 other glass companies nationwide and doesn't change the name on the storefront so they can keep the loyal customers that don't want to shop anywhere else).

After greeting the customer and determining what they need, you proceed to take the call. This normally involves gathering information into our computer system that will help us identify the proper parts needed to complete their job, where the job needs to be done, and eventually a price and appointment availability. Once we get a call to the screen where we have a price listed and the available schedule for the area, that call becomes an "opportunity". Our phone stats are determined by comparing the number of appointments we book against the number of "opportunities" we were presented with.

Here's where the sales part comes in.

If I've done my job right, I've built up a relationship with this customer. I've greeted them with a warm disposition, thanked them for choosing Safelite (assuming the sale from the beginning of the call), expressed sympathy for whatever situation has caused them to call in, proved myself knowledgable by asking questions that narrows done the correct part for their work (actually provided by my system's scripting, so I sound more knowledgable about their vehicle than what I really am), and I've provided them with at least 2 of Safelite's 5 "Points of Customer Satisfaction" to help add value to our service. Now I've given them a price, offered them the suggested appointment times provided by the computer for either an in-shop appointment or mobile service (with no additional cost). They've either already given me an affirmative, or they're trying to back out of things now, and I've got some more work to do by overcoming objections.

My system provides me with a couple of options if price is the issue, though really I'm very limited in what I can do on that end of things. If something else is the problem, I'm finding a solution, whatever that may be.

If I do my job properly, I proceed to collect information such as where we need to come out to perform the service, and try to sell them wiper blades and collect credit card information and an e-mail (the latter two statistically improve appointment retention). The call is done, I thank them, and we're on our way to the next call.

All of this is expected to take 3 - 5 minutes on average. That might be about right, though of course I'm still getting into the swing of things. To encourage our sales, there are various contests and games where we earn "points" or the opportunity to play for our sales. Sounds like fun right? Well there's a problem, but I'll get to that later. First thing's first.

As you may have guessed from the above description, we have no control over what kind of calls we get. This in and of itself is fine; we're cross-trained to handle commercial calls, insurance calls, and other areas. Safelite doesn't expect us to be at 100% with our cash appointment rate (the only appointment rate in Sales that matters is Cash... ie, non-insurance or commercials sales, but customers paying out of pocket), though they do expect at least 52% (and prefer 55%). This is to allow for thos occaisional crazy calls, like the friend calling for someone else who really can't make a single decision about the appointment (remember, if we give a price it counts as an opportunity even if there wasn't really one there). However, we get enough calls in day that we should have plenty of opportunities to keep our stats up.

So imagine the frustration I'm having with two days WHERE I CAN'T SELL JACK NOR SHIT!!!!! I have friends calling (who, btw, DON'T EVEN KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE VEHICLE TO GUARANTEE WE HAVE THE RIGHT PARTS!!!) or people who are so quick to get off the phone that I can't even offer to try and get a new price or discover other objections to try and overcome... and all of this crap counts against me, and adds up over and over and over and over and...

Get the point?

To make matters worse, they implemented a system where after each call the system TELLS YOU what your current appointment rates are. So if I'm not off to a stellar start I get to be reminded EACH FREAKING TIME!!!!

ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

It is, sad to say, a TAD (read: FREAKING HUGE) demoralizing, which makes the next freaking call even harder (I want to scrream, and I'm supposed to sound chipper and upbeat... yeah, can you say "forced).

Add insult to injury, the games I mentioned before? Well, they only matter if you GET THERE IN TIME, which you don't know when the game ends. Perfect example is today. We had a game when I walked in that stated that for every 5 sales we could walk up to the prize table, pick an envelope, and get whatever prize was inside. Fantastic! Except my morning sucked... so by my break I had 2 sales that counted. After I got back from break my job coach (supervisor) came over and told everyone to only come up to the table after their shift or during their break. I did exactly as she said, finally accumulated my 5 sales, and at 3:30 pm, when my shift was over, went to the prize table. There one woman said they were out of prizes (though there were unopened envelopes on the table), and another guy said he had gotten turned away at 3:05, being told that the game ended at 3:00... even though the sheet mentioned NOTHING about a time limit (and normally they do if there is one).

Ok, why try to get me pumped up when you're going to give me instructions that means that this game is worthless to me? The impression I'm getting is either A) ignore the game, or B) ignore my job coach's instructions and run to the prize table as soon as I have 5 sales... (btw, that's what the instruction sheet said to do).

Chaos. Sheer chaos. Frustrating, and it pisses me off. This is my first week where I actually earn bonus commission based on my sales stats, and I'm having two horrible days. Sunday was good (75% appointment rate), but right now my average for the week is approximately 55%... meaning that one more bad day will tank my average. I WANT MY COMMISSION!!!!

Ok, that's it. I don't need my blood pressure to raise any more.

End of demented rambling.

Bad Me! No Doughnut!

2009-08-15T01:29:00.003-04:00

Ok, ok... I admit it... I've been bad.

Here I PROMISED myself that after I started work I'd continue to write regularly here. And now it is August 15th (technically, since it's 1:21 AM as I type this), and my last post was on August 1st.

That is not writing regularly.

So I appologize to all of you who might read this blog regularly. I believe that makes... one of you. And myself, of course. Ah, fame... I wonder what it's like?

Now, I trust you will all forgive me if I make this post brief. Caleb has a birthday party starting in less than 12 hours, and I really should get to bed. The only reason I'm up this late is I've been working on a project for Lisa and I want to brag a little.

See, Lisa has this neat idea that Caleb should have to hunt down all of his presents with the aid of a "treasure map". This sounds like a lot of fun, since the theme for Caleb's party is "pirates". Of course, this required a map, and not just any map will do! It must look old, ratty, like something a real pirate might be using! Enter the roleplayer who has spent too much time in his youth trying to learn how to make cool props for his games! So tonight I've been aging a printout of our map to make it look authentic.

Ok, ok... I admit that clipart and inkjet printing isn't "authentic"... but if it makes you feel any better, the map has no sense of proportion whatsoever, and I suck at drawing on the computer so one MIGHT feel like I'd been drinking rum before I made it...

No? Screw it, there's a picture at the opening of this post. You be the judge (I really need to learn a way to position pictures somewhere else in my post!).

That's all for tonight. I'm tired, and there's partying (with cheesecake) to be done later today.

End of Demented Rambling.

One Week Down!

2009-08-01T20:26:00.002-04:00

My first week on the phones at Safelite is done... and my day off is going too quickly!

I like the system they have for the computers. It walks you through, step-by-step, as you progress with a call. The system provides you with suggessted scripting so you never really need to be at a loss. It helps provide you with questions to verify that you're selecting the correct price and has numerous tools for helping you find more information if needed. The calls aren't bad. You have your usual experience with people. Some are very fun to speak with, others are short-tempered and quick to hang up. No taking it personal, you just move on. Sometimes the call volume is crushing, other times it is leisurely.

Right now my biggest problem with work is that I'm not used to leaving Lisa and Lex (Caleb & Cassandra are still gone for this part of the summer) in the morning. I'm used to having time to play with Lex or chat with Lisa. Many times when I'm leaving for work they're just waking up, so that's rough. I miss them while I'm gone. I know that as I grow used to this my missing them will effect me less, but right now its quite poignant.

Meanwhile, Lisa and I are prepping for Caleb's birthday party... and we keep meeting roadblocks. The pirate theme is surprisingly difficult to find decorations for. Lisa found some great ones on line, but shipping is insane; it costs almost as much as the actual price for the items themselves! We're ok with spending $50 for great decorations... but another $40 (or so) on top of that, just for shipping? Hell no! Unfortunately our local party supply market has real crap for pirate decorations. We're piecing things together as much as possible, but we won't be having the party (visually) that we wanted.

We also adopted a stray cat this week, the one we've been feeding for a few weeks now. We've named her Lugosi (Lugo for short), and we're positive that she's pregnant and in heat (cats can go into heat again during pregnancy). We have her blocked off in a bathroom so she has a little room to roam (it seemed kinder than keeping her in the cat carrier), but we can't let her near Bella, in case Lugo has any diseases that might pass on to Bella. We have a vet appointment with an old family friend, Emily Gabriel (it was Emily Buck when we were in preschool together... I still forget sometimes) for Thursday. Hopefully she'll be able to shine some insight on what we'll need to do to get ready for all of this.

I haven't had much time for writing. Getting used to work and the sheer SPEED that things move at there have left me exhausted when I get home. I'd hoped to work on something tonight, but my day off is just vanishing so quickly. Hopefully I'll get something do this following week. I'm working more hours this week (total of 40), but that will actually give me more breaks, so maybe I won't feel as wiped out at the end of it. (It's crazy, I'm scheduled for 8 hours, but it will be more like 6 hours and 50 minutes at my work station, as oppossed to the 5 hours and 40 minutes for when I was scheduled for 6 hours.)

That's all for now. We'll get more later.

End of Demented Rambling.

The Game of Publishing

2009-07-27T06:54:00.002-04:00

So this blog is becoming more and more like a once-a-week affair. Hopefully that will be changing soon, but I thought I'd pop in before I left for work (first day taking calls!) to make a comment.

Saturday represented the end of the potential deadline for Wierd Tales to get back to me regarding any potential interest in Children of Llothora. Since I've recieved no correspondance from them whatsover, I am considering this a rejection for the story. Unfortunate, but hey, not many people get published at their first try. I am disappointed because the magazine's submission guidelines make a point of stating that they always send a formal rejection notice (which I haven't received). I would have at least liked to have known what it was they didn't like so I could send future stories more up their alley to them, but oh well.

(On a side, note, it is occuring to me that I should make an attempt to contact them to see what's going on; since I haven't gotten anything at all, there exists the potential for a mix-up in the mail... I could at least maybe find out WHY it wasn't accepted.)

But that's the game. As I write this, I have four other publications' websites open, and a page with links to many others. All it takes now is to decide which one I want to submit to next (or which several if they're ok with multiple submissions). That's what happens when you submit unsolicited work to a company. If they don't like it you try again, and again, with that piece and another.

I've been worrying so much about work and money and Lex (VERY cranky after his last two vaccine shots) that I haven't gotten much work done. It's hard going from the peaceful, quiet atmosphere of the jury assembly area back to working at home, where Lex, if nothing else, is a constant source of distraction and worry.

Ah well. Need to finish getting ready.

End of Demented Rambling.

I'm Back!

2009-07-22T21:15:00.002-04:00

I've taken a "few" days off from my blog recently. Between Lex's birthday party this past weekend (which was a great success) and starting my training classes at Safelite, I've just felt really busy.

As I said, the birthday party went really well. We had our whole family of five, both my parents, Lisa's mother and grandmother, and my one of my aunts & uncles at the party. Our theme was "mini" for this party. Our menu consisted of mini-cheeseburgers with "mixi-doodle sauce" (courtesy of Michael Chiarello), mini-bagel pizzas, fruit bowls, and an awesome cheese tray provided by my parents, plus a variety of those 8 oz cans of soda, also provided by my parents. We only furnished little cocktail plates, napkins, and forks, as well as plastic shot glasses for drinks. My father and uncle cheated, choosing to load a regular-sized plate rather than stick with the theme, but they both loved the food so I'll forvie them. My father picked up this great little device to grill 9 mini-burgers at one time, and it was fantastic. Made fixing 18 mini-burgers on the grill really easy, because we could flip 9 of them at one time. I'd recommend it by brand name, but all the packaging was gone.

Lex got a huge amount of "loot". We gave him a singing mailbox (no, I'm sure we won't regret giving him a toy that makes the noise), plus an alligator car, tugboat bath toy, and a new outfit. My parents gave him a car buggy that we push, and a Winnie the Poo spinner. Lisa's family gave him a singing train with alphabet parts, plus a lot of clothes. My aunt and uncle gave him a fantastic gift... Baby Mozart from the Baby Einstein videos, plus 2 Baby Einstein CDs. These are great because they calm him down almost IMMEDIATELY when he's screaming, saving our frayed nerves from further damage.

Took the kids to be dropped off at the other house after that. I'll leave that with only one other statement... I don't begrudge the other biological parent from wanting time with them... but I hate what this split Summer stuff does to Lisa.

Safelite is going well. I seem to be retaining all the information they're throwing at me, but we'll see how well that transfers to the call center when I'm let out on the floor. By an odd coincidence, my neighbor across the street just started there as well. He was in the training class before mine, so he's still in the "training" section taking calls.

Lisa and I have watched John Carpenter's "Apocalypse Trilogy" now, consisting of "The Thing", "Prince of Darkness", and "In the Mouth of Madness". I enjoyed all three movies, and I'm glad to have finally gotten to see all the movies.

We have a stray cat hanging around our house. He (we think its a "he") was very scrawny and emaciated to begin with, but we've been leaving food for "him" and he's started to fill out to a more healthy size. We're hoping eventually to adopt him, but it's slow-going. He still hasn't built up much trust for us, though he is getting better. If we do take him in, we're going to name him based on puns that link back to our other cat, Bella. If "he" really is a "he" we're going to name him Lugosi (Lugi for short). A girl will be named "Donna". Points if you get both jokes.

Ok. I'm out for the night.

End of Demented Rambling.

Writing Frustrations

2009-07-14T16:40:00.002-04:00

Sometimes it is very frustrating.

As much as I HATE prewriting, I made a very strong effort to outline "Caverns of Baltatharon". I created a nice, detailed outline... except in one section.

Go figure, this section happens to be the point where I'm at in the story now.

Also go figure, I can't for the life of me figure out what to put into this section.

I mean, I know what leads up to it, I know what comes after it... but the content inside of it?

Nuh-uh.

(I've just written 4 "paragraphs" that are each only one sentance long... I think I just "broke" the English language. Strunk & White are coming to my house right now with an Uzi.)

It almost makes me want to scrap the project... but it has its inspirations with "Shadow Over Innsmouth", my favorite Lovecraft story, and I don't want to abandon that. It's irrational, but there it is. It really has very little in common with Lovecraft's fantastic tale, other than an amphibious species that might possibly be mating with humans... but I still don't want to get rid of it.

I ran into this with "Children of Llothora" when I was writing that story, but I simply thought that the section was out of place and would make the reader yawn and stop reading. Here... I just don't know what to put down. I have these scenes I like of underwater cities, a sacrifice, and this is where the narrator encounters the caverns mentioned in the title... but I just don't have a clear road map on how to navigate this section. I've been trying to figure it out for over a week, and my brain just IS NOT cooperating!

Feh. Never gonna get through it if I'm just kvetching to my blog. Back to work!

End of Demented Rambling.

Stupid Computer!

2009-07-14T16:26:00.002-04:00

So I decided to spare Lisa my music video playlist on Yahoo... she doesn't share my love of Rage Against the Machine... or Avenged Sevenfold... Rammstein... Slipknot... come to think of it, we may only share tastes in "Pop" music. Plus, I'd had my old headset out to listen to information on the Palm Pre (no lectures about how I can't afford it... I'm allowed to want things I can't afford), so I figured I'd get some use of them.

Then I figured that I'd go ahead and get some writing in today while listening to my music with my headphones... then I remembered that my files are on a USB flash drive... which isn't so bad, except that my desktop only has one USB port in the front, and my headset was occupying it. So I unplugged the headset (yes, I was courteous and paused the music) and pulled the tower out to plug it into one of the 4 USB ports in the back. This stretched the power cord too far, making it come loose, and thus quitting the power on me.

Stupid computer.

I have it up and working now, but I'm still getting my websites & applications back up and running. Just popped in to vent for a minute.

End of Demented Rambing.

The Dangers of Wearing Your Helmet Too Tight!

2009-07-13T08:27:00.003-04:00

You may end up looking like this!

Before the kids left on Friday we took them for one last bike ride, and gave Lex his first ride in the wagon!

Cassandra decided to be a goof for this picture... I warned her I'd show it to people... oh well, her choice!

They had a lot of fun, though Cassandra is still having trouble going uphill. She needs to work on developing muscles in her legs to push through those difficult spots. She's getting better though. Caleb did great, though he still needs some reminders to stand up when the going gets tough. No need for more leg muscles for him though, he peddled like a champ! Just a little more work on the concept of using the breaks, not his feet, to slow down, and he'll be ready to get those training wheels off! Lex loves going for walks, and he loved the wagon ride as well! We tucked a bottle of Gatorade in the front of the wagon in case anyone got thirsty... it must have slid backwards at some point, because I turned around and there was Lex trying to get it open! Little bugger loves Gatorade (and why not, it has a ton of sugar)!

I was going to post more pictures of the bike ride/wagon ride on here, but I can't figure out a way to do it that doesn't involve shoving all of them at the top of the blog. Since it's very hard to comment on them... well, I'm just not going to do it!

End of Demented Rambling.

Is the Week Over Yet?

2009-07-09T20:55:00.003-04:00

No?

Crap.

My grandfather passed away at 12:30 Monday morning (not sure if that is the exact time or an approximate, but it's close enough). We'd been expecting it, so it wasn't a terrible shock or anything. Actually, we'd been expecting it for over a year now, so we've had some time to mentally prepare for it. Probably won't mean jack as far as the grieving process is concerned, but it helps at least in the short term.

I spent the first part of this week playing "Dead Space", an excellent game I rented after my friend Tom showed it to me. It was due back Wednesday, and I wanted to make certain I'd finished it by then, so I've been playing quite a bit of it. And if your wondering, I did finish it. And now I want a sequal.

I also got my schedule set up with Safelite Auto Glass, I'll start orientation on the 20th, so just in time to have Lex's birthday party without any worries of work intruding. Yay!

We went to the viewing today. It was a pleasant gathering, as such things go. Lex loved it... nice open room where he could be the star attraction by running around. Lisa and I are exhausted after running around all evening after him though.

I'd write more, but frankly I'm pooped.

I've got a couple of things I want to post on here roleplaying-wise, but I'm not ready to do so at this moment... and thinking go slowly right now.

End of Demented Rambling.

Happy 4th of July... and other stuff.

2009-07-05T20:15:00.002-04:00

Perhaps I'm a day late in saying this, but I hope everyone had a happy 4th of July! Hooray for American Independance!

Ordinarily we go to the City of Hilliard parade, but we didn't think we were going to have the kids, and figured Lex wouldn't appreciate the loud noises of the parades. Instead we scheduled for our friends Tom and Angie to come over and have a little 4th of July party, which then extended to including Angie's mother Artie (hope I'm spelling that right), and Lisa's mother and grandmother (the Marys).

The Marys came over Friday night to avoid the holiday traffic. Tom, Angie, Evie (Tom & Angie's 9-week old baby) and Arite got here somewhere between 1:30 PM and 2:00. They brought pita chips, hummus, and beer (mmm... beer). Well, and themselves of course. Can't forget that. The menu included grilled pizza with kielbasa, red & yellow bell peppers, fontina cheese, and a ricotta cheese mixture. We also had grilled corn, some of Mary's (or "Grams" as the kids call her) potato salad, some two-bite brownies and some angel food cake with red, white, and blue food colored icing (the deserts were store-bought).

The party was great fun. Great food, great company. Tom and I had an "epic" golf game on the Wii. It ended in a tie, +16 for both of us (yeah, we sucked... what can I say; golf apparently isn't our game). Evie was adorable, and is apparently capable of sleeping through hurricanes, because even at our loudest she didn't stir at all. Lex tried to steal the show, and did a pretty good job of it!

After the party I took the kids out for some fun with sparklers, while Lisa stayed in with a sleeping Lex and rested her abused feet. She was exhausted beyond belief! Caleb and Cassandra got to see some fireworks in the distance while they played with the sparklers. Then, of course, bed.

Today we went to the Montgomery Family Reunion, a reunion for my mother's side of the family. The family tree gets a bit... er, um... "tangled" together down that branch. See, my grandfather married my grandmother... that much should be taken as a given. Well, his brother married my grandmother's sister... which only sounds wrong if you don't take the time to explain why our family tree isn't just a trunk. The Montgomery's are my grandmother's family line.

Anyway, I've avoided going for a few years in a row now. When you get down to my generation the family ties are... well, let's just say that if our family ties were shoe laces, some poor sap would be tripping constantly. We don't really know each other (ok, the more accurate statement would be "we don't know each other, period"). So I really don't feel much of a need to go, other than to make my mother happy (sorry, Mom). Honestly, if it hadn't been an opportunity to let my aunts and uncles see the kids, I wouldn't have gone. But hey, we went, it wasn't too bad this year; I didn't get that "Who are you, and why do you know my name?" feeling I normally get. And my Aunts and Uncles got to see Lex walk a bit, plus the kids got to look at pictures of my Aunt Lois & Uncle John's family (including my cousin John, his wife Becky, and their kids Maddie & Cassie) trip to Disney World.

We got home, and Lex was exhausted. I ended up laying him down next to me in bed and we took a nice, long, nap. Then a quick trip to the store to pick up some stuff for dinner (Spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread and peas). Now the family is sitting odwn watching The Tales of Despereaux, an animated book based on a children's story. We have the book for Cassandra, thought she'd want to read it more if she saw the movie first. So far it's enjoyable.

That's all for now. I need to get some more writing done, but I've been kind of been busy with stuff like the 4th of July party and Lex's birthday arty... which is only 2 weeks away (AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!). I'll get more down soon.

End of Demented Rambling.

So Tired...

2009-07-01T12:35:00.002-04:00

Let me throw a scenario out for you folks reading this out there in internet-land.

Imagine if you will, a house with an 11 month-old baby. Imagine that this sweet baby falls asleep around 8:00 in the evening.

Fast forward to approximately midnight, when this baby's parents have decided that they can no longer keep their eyes open, and must go to bed. As they finish picking up downstairs the unthinkable happens.

The sweet baby wakes up.

He's still sweet. Adorable, even. But he is also well-rested, and thus at an advantage against his weary parents. Desperate to play on the floor where he can walk around and get into all sorts of trouble, the sweet baby will no longer accept attempts to cuddle him back to sleep. With supreme effort, the sweet baby wriggles his way free of his parents' grasps and makes his break for freedom! Unable to compete with the boundless energy of youth, the groggy parents accept their doomed fate and resolve to continue staying up past the point where any sane person would have turned in, college students excepted.

The sweet baby plays hard, until his frantic efforts of running around in circles finally exhausts him. At 2:00 AM the exhausted parents are finally able to lay him down in his crib, where he slumbers...

Until 7:00 AM when he is hungry.

The scene I have painted above is not fiction. You have not entered The Twilight Zone. It is real.

I'm am so goddamn tired, it isn't even funny. Looks like I'm running off of energy drinks today!

End of Demented Rambling.

Oh Happy Day!

2009-06-29T19:46:00.004-04:00

Oh Happy Day, Oh Happy Day!

Lex, our youngest (for those not in-the-know, Lex will be 12 months in July), is finally wanting more solid foods rather than the strained-crud they serve as baby foods. No more formula, now he gets real milk!

Today we fed him Mac n' Cheese (from a box) and tuna salad... and he loved it! Tonight we had some orzo as a side, and he loved that.

This is great. Formula runs around $25 a week for Lex, and food for the week probably runs around another $10 a week (or more). Saving approximately $140 a month on our food budget is fantastic, and the fact that Lex is loving the food we're making is beyond fantastic; we shouldn't need to adjust our menus too much as he gets older.

Heck, at this point he's less picky than I am since he likes seafood!

The best thing is watching him take a bite of whatever we're feeding him, and then watch him smile, start nodding his head, and say "Good!"

Now we just need to get through all this stuff with his blocked tear duct (first appointment with Children's Hospital is Thursday) and we'll be set!

End of Demented Rambling.

I've Fallen Behind

2009-06-28T23:02:00.003-04:00

I've fallen pretty far behind on this blog!

Wednesday was my last day on Jury Duty. I was released after that due to a slow week. Took some time on Thursday to just enjoy the family. Friday we dropped the kids off with the other house for the weekend. That night Lisa and I watched a couple of movies. The first is called Cthulhu, and I was expecting to really like it. The trailer made it seem that it was based on The Shadow Over Innsmouth, my favorite of Lovecraft's stories.

It might have been, but I'll never know. A short way in I realized that the story was actually "Successful gay man returns home and must deal with religious father who scorns his sexual orientation." I have nothing against LGBT film or literature, but I don't appreciate disguising it within something else.

The next film was called Asylum and it was HORRIBLE. It was full of horror-flick stereotypes and had a villain who was a poor rip-off of Freddy. I mean, the stereotypes were horrible too: Tough, defensive latino girl? Abused by her boyfriend. Pretty blonde chick who acts all slutty and sex-crazed? Sexually abused by her father. Annoying jock obsessed with his looks and physique? Formerly obese loser from an obese family forced to overeat by his mother. The story was just plain uninteresting, though they got some decent gore into the film. Just goes to show - movie covers can make a film look intersting, but sometimes they're just wrapping paper over crap.

Saturday I went down to Origins to meet up with the old Athens Wargamers crowd. Well, actually the big bar on the 2nd floor of the Hyatt is more accurate, since I didn't shell out the money for a convention pass. Got to catch up with my friend Chris who now lives in Bavaria while serving as a combat cameraman in the Army. My friend Ryan was there, who I haven't seen since he moved to the Toledo area. Bruce, another old friend who lived in Athens (and still does, plus he works for the University now), caught me up on the changes to campus (Holy Shit! Athens has a Chipotle now!). Larry was there and bought the first (and only) round of beer. Kelly was there, and I probably haven't seen him 3 or 4 years. A couple other Wargamers were around, but they were doing Con stuff, and I didn't get to see them. Met a few of the next generation of Wargamers too. Good fun. Paid too much for a "Philly" cheesesteak, even if it was pretty good.

Today we picked up the kids and did some grocery shopping. I tried out a new (to me) recipe from Alton Brown for a pork tenderloin marinated in lime juice, lime zest, garlic powder, honey and a bit of adobe sauce. Then cooked the sucker over the grill until the thermometer read 140 degrees.

I took two bites and tossed it in the sink. Very disappointed. I usually really like AB's recipes, but this turned out very disappointing. The pork had a strong lime taste around the edges, but nothing on the inside. I couldn't taste ANY of the other flavors in the marinade, which was surprising because after I made the marinade I tried a little and thought it was quite good. I was really looking forward to this meal, and it just sucked. Well, not the whole meal. Lisa makes great mashed potatoes, and the steamed peas were pretty good too. I ended up eating a rice cake with the peas and potatoes, and now I have a large portion of a tenderloin that I don't want to save. The kids said they liked it, but I don't really trust them when it comes to food. They ate it all - which is good enough, I suppose - but they'll often say something is good even if they hate it. Lisa didn't seem to care for it, said the lime was too strong. I have to agree.

I'm reading a bit more of Laurell K. Hamilton's The Laughing Corpse and I STILL can't tell if I like her series or not. I'm not sure why it isn't clicking (or failing to click) with me. The character... well, she seems like she has a lot of potential, and she has several intersting qualities... but she's overshadowed by things like the descent into trashy romance novel territory whenever she's around the master vampire of the city (I know, they're supposed to be "erotic thrillers" but still...), the obsession with proving that Hamilton is familiar with guns, and a slow pacing filled with unnecessary entries (we get that Saint Louis is hot... do you need to have her constantly moan about how uncomfortable she is wearing long sleeves to hide her gun?) that take away from some of the good parts. Hamilton also fails to explain a lot of things... a prime example is the fact that Anita Blake is on retainer with the St. Louis police department to help explain supernatural goings-ons... and apparently she can do forensics analysis too! Please... they give a plausible explanation as to why she would be considered a supernatural expert (she has a degree in the field), but not where her keen detective skills come from.

Whatever. We'll see where it goes.

That's it for now. It's late, and I don't feel like rambling any more.

End of Demented Rambling.

All the Small Things

2009-06-24T09:05:00.002-04:00

Mental note:

When you know the night before that you're running low on gas, STOP AT THE FUEL PUMP!!!

On the other hand, if I hadn't stopped to pump gas this morning, I wouldn't have realized that I had no cash on me for parking.

So gas & the bank ended up making me almost late to Jury Duty this morning. I couldn't get into the county parking garage and had to settle for City Center.

On the plus side, a quick glance at the board showed 4 of 7 judges already in court, though one (Schneider, the case I was almost seated on) is in deliberations.

Yesterday 2nd weekers were released at lunch. With any luck today will be similar.

End of Demented Rambling.

The Cunning Mark

2009-06-23T10:39:00.003-04:00

Holy crap.

I've gotten 11 pages written in an hour and a half (approximately).

I think I've got a winner here. Lucas Moon is getting some more attention from me.

End of Demented Rambling.

On a lighter note...

2009-06-23T09:20:00.004-04:00

Today my goal is to get a few more pages written for Temple of Baltatharon. On top of that I want to get to work on writing The Cunning Mark (first Lucas Moon short story!) even though I haven't finished prewriting it yet. I want to start prewriting and/or writing on Five Views of Survival, an old idea I had originally intended as a short film but that I think might translate better as a story. I need to bring a Lovecraft anthology with The Thing on the Doorstep with me tomorrow so I can decide if I want to work on a new version of that book written from a different character's point of view (yes, yes, I know... I wanted to stay away from the Cthulhu Mythos, but I think I might enjoy the work).

I also want to get started on a piece to submit to White Wolf, as part of their Storyteller Adventure System line. I don't know if they'll want yet another Hunter: The Vigil story (they have more of those posted than anything else), but I like my idea and after reading some of the aweful ones they published... well, I don't think mine can be any worse!

I recently got in contact from an old friend from college, Chris Barnhardt, whom I haven't seen since he joined the military. He's in town this week and mentioned that he'd gotten some stuff of his published by Chaosium, the company who makes the Call of Cthulhu RPG. I need to find what their writing submission guidelines are... not only do they publish RPG stuff, but they also publish new Mythos short story anthologies. They could be a good resource for me.

It's a lot on my plate, but if I stretch it out through the remainder of the week I should be able to handle it. Assuming Jury Duty affords me the time.

I also got a call last night from Safelite (I think it was Safelite... the voicemail was a little garbled) regarding a sales position I applied for a lifetime ago. By the time I heard the voicemail it was too late to return the call, but I'm going to buzz them during the lunch hour and see how they feel about me coming in next week to talk to them.

Oh, and at some point I need to crank out Kill Me Please part three.

Ok. Enough blogging! Work!

End of Demented Rambling.

Save Ohio Libraries

2009-06-23T08:45:00.004-04:00

Ok. Anyone who reads this has likely already recieved an e-mail from me regarding this issue, but it's important so I'm going to go over it again here.

Now I understand that the Governor has a tough job. A $3.2 billion hole in a budget is a big one to fill. You have to make tough choices, you have to make people angry, something has to suffer.

But this plan is idioitic. The proposed total reduction between the losses from our reduced economy and the cuts proposed by Strickland come to a 50% revenue loss for libraries state wide. Many libraries rely on state funding to keep their doors open.

So what happens when the libraries lose that money? Well you stop getting as much new material, meaning that the libraries become outdated and less-useful as a research tool. Operations are scaled back, meaning reduced staff, shorter operating hours. BRANCHES CLOSE, meaning MORE jobless competing in what is already a tough job market. And worse, valuable programs that help raise the literacy of children and adults go away.

Unacceptable.

Libraries are more than just a place to do research now. For those who haven't been able to afford a computer, they are a needed place to produce reports and papers. For those who might have a computer but either can't get or can't afford internet access, the libraries are their only gateways online.

We have an unemployment problem here in Ohio. We've lost something like 280,000 manufacturing jobs. The decline of the Auto Industry is hitting us hard. Changes in health care could hit like a ton of bricks since Insurance is one of the largest industries in Columbus.

Part of the answer is finding the jobs that are available, retraining where necessary, and keeping up to date on innovations in your field. Library internet access can help the unemployed gain access to job search boards or access to e-mail, which is almost a necessity for communicating with staffing companies. They provide research tools so that people can retrain themselves at low cost by doing research into new fields of employment. They provide access to industry journals and books that newly unemployed workers might not want to risk spending money on, but that will keep them at the top of their game while seeking new employment.

Take away libraries and it becomes much, much harder for the poor to find work. If they don't find work then the State is stuck with rising unemployment expenses and a loss of taxpayer revenue. This isn't a stop-gap. It's breaking a limb to take your mind off of pain somewhere else in your body. It's stupidity.

My children LOVE going to the library. Our son, Caleb, can read better than Cassandra was able to at his age, and he loves reading. The library gives him new material to read so he's not just memorizing the same book over and over, without adding to our strained budget. When we bring him home a stack of books, he doesn't care what's in them, he can't wait to read them to us.

Cassandra loves to get books. Right now she's reading a High School Musical book that we're using to continue her practice with reading comprehension during the summer. She bought the book at the last book fair West Franklin held. At the same time she is reading Coraline (recommended by James Patterson's youth reading program) for fun. She just got another pile of books Monday, though we're making her wait until she's finished reading one of the other books before she devours the new ones. Last night I noticed Cassandra using the kitchen timer, and I realized she was setting it for 20 minutes... Every 20 minutes of reading lets her fill in a bubble on the reading chart she got from the library for their summer reading program.

Lex can't read. He loves books though. Apparently they taste good... I wish I were kidding. And he loves to turn the pages. The library has benefitted him though. It was through the library that we were able to get some of the "Baby Einstein" videos to show him. They've exposed him to classical music, fun sights, and there have been many times when all it took to stop his cries (he hates being placed in the play pen) was showing him the video cassette, and then starting up one of those 30-minute videos. Instant quiet, focused baby.

Through the library Lisa was able to indulge her forensics and serial killer interests (I don't mean she wants to BE a serial killer, rather she enjoys reading about them). She has gotten to find True Crime novels to satisfy the void left after mysteries became too easy for her. She recently checked out an e-book of James Patterson's and fell in love with a favorite author again. She was upset when she had to wait for another e-book to become available, one that is letting her read a variety of authors.

Part of my writing goes into trying to get roleplaying adventures published. As I've said before, the idea of combining one of my oldest hobbies and my career thrills me. But to do that I need books, books that aren't exactly cheap. I've kept my library as full as possible. Amazon gift cards from rewards points can stretch pretty well for this, but I have to pick and choose. Often I don't know if I really want a book, and I don't order it because I'm afraid it will be a waste. The library carries some roleplaying books. Not all, but they have everything for the 4e D&D product line. It was thanks to those books that I knew ordering Monster Manual 2 or Adventurer's Vault would be money well-spent. It was also thanks to the library that I realized that while Dungeon Delve is a fund read, I wouldn't really get any use out of it. On top of that I've gotten to read The Warrior by Jim Butcher, and Turn Coat, plus Butcher's Codex Alera series all thanks to the library. I'm trying to decide if I like Laurel K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series right now, something I wouldn't take the risk on if I had to buy the books.

This is what the library means to my family. You want to take that away from us Strickland? You think this protects and serves the people of Ohio.

I think you're making a mistake. I think you're hurting Ohio, and my family. And I think if this budget goes through like this I'll stop being one of your supporters, and I've been supporting you since 2000.

You really want that?

Want to tell the Governor and your legislator how you feel? Check out http://www.columbuslibrary.org/save_our_library for ways you can speak out.

End of Demented Rambling.

Week Two Begins!

2009-06-22T08:39:00.003-04:00

So my second week of Jury Duty begins today. As usual, I'm already up in the 5th floor Jury Assembly Room, waiting for 9:00 AM to roll around. I have no idea if they'll even call me this week. At this point my odds are slightly lower than they were last week, depending on how many things go to trial. Whatever, I've actually somewhat enjoyed my time here. It's been great creatively, and while I miss the family I don't mind the break in scenery (if Lisa reads this her jaw is probably on the floor and she's likely thinking "then why don't we go somewhere and get out of the house!").

The weekend was, overall, a good one. It started on Friday for me since I didn't need to report to the court house. Lisa's mother and grandmother (the Marys) came to stay the night Friday, so the kids were really excited. Lisa's mother (we'll call her "young Mary") bought the kids a small swimming pool, and they loved it. It looks like a whale and can spray them as they're in it if the water is hooked up. Lex loved it too, walking around like he owned the thing, trying to swim, etc. It was a good visit. They left at about 5:00 PM Sunday, and we were kind of at a loss for what to do next. We had planned ribs for dinner, but both Lisa and myself had forgotten to get them out of the freezer, so there wasn't an opportunity to thaw them and let the rub get in. Slight change of plans, and dinner was leftovers, which were still good since Lisa had made a double batch of her awesome Kicking Cajun Alfredo (courtesy of Guy Fieri) Friday night, plus some homemade garlic bread that was just as good cold as it was warm (despite what Cassandra thought).

Sunday was Father's Day, and it was a little bittersweet. I met my parents at their house and went to see my grandfather. After a couple of strokes right after each other at the end of February/beginning of March his mind has finally gone. Some days are good, some... well, some aren't. I hadn't been over to see him since getting the news. I've gone through one family member not knowing who I am, I don't long to experience it again. But this might have been the last Father's Day, and I know it was important to Dad even if he didn't say so (important to me too). My Aunt Sally and Uncle John were there, so we got to see them. Grandpa wasn't really with things however. They've upped his dosage on one medication and he fell asleep. I suppose that's ok... it avoided a potentially difficult situation. It was good to see him.

By the time I got home I was feeling ill. I don't know if it was from the visit, the heat, a drop in my blood sugar, or what. All I know is I was naseus and not feeling good in general. Lisa wasn't feeling well either. The kids made me Father's Day cards while I was gone, so that was a welcome treat (I had prepared my self for the Marys' visit to overshadow Father's Day). Lisa had helped Lex make me a card that had his very first hand prints on it, so that was great (not to take away from Cassandra & Caleb's cards... I just wasn't expecting one from Lex). Apparently Lisa had to stop him from trying to stick paint-covered hands in his mouth! That boy wants to eat everything in sight! What do they say about Cancers, they're ruled by their stomachs? Lex proves that one!

We were supposed to go to a Summer Solstice ceremony my friend Joe's Druid Grove was putting on. It started at 3 and by 2 I was still feeling ill. I looked at the temperature and realized it was supposed to reach 85 with a 52% humidity, and we decided that it just wasn't a good idea to go. Even if I handled the heat ok, Lex probably wouldn't, and the ceremony would take place right during his feeding time when he'd be guaranteed to be cranky. I was disappointed, but I think it was the right decision. Of course our dinner plans had been the potluck after the ceremony so we kind of messed up with that... but fortunately Pizza Hut is very forgiving. Lisa was thrilled when I suggested we order mediums instead of our usual larges... hey, every little bit to help lose weight, right?

I got a present for Father's Day. Sims 3, something I'd been looking forward to but Lisa was iffy about it. I had reservations about whether it would even run on the laptop (the processer isn't technically up to specs), but my fears were unfounded. The only issue I had was that my video driver was VERY out of date (it was an '05 driver!) so I had some .dll issues that forced me to restart the laptop a couple of times. Fortunately Intel had an updated '07 driver on their website that fixed the issues, and the game runs quite nicely now. I'll review it sometime after I've played some more, but in short I like it better than Sims 2 (which is Lisa's baby). It fixes a lot of the things that made me get bored with the previous versions... plus my first Sim is an Evil Insane Bookworm who is trying to become a professional author and now has 3 books to his name while he works part time at a bookstore!

(No, I didn't pattern him after myself... I just wanted to try the traits out and I had enjoyed writing books in Sims 2 instead of getting a career.)

I also got in touch with an old buddy from college through Facebook. I haven't seen him in years; he joined the Army as a Combat Documentation and Production Specialist, and he lives in Bavaria now (he says it makes Athens, OH look like LA). He's here for the week to attend Origins, so I think I'll try to find a time to go to dinner with him or have him over or something, depending on what his schedule will allow.

End of Demented Rambling.

Another Day at the Court House

2009-06-18T09:03:00.003-04:00

Well, here I am, ready for another day in the jury pool.

Yesterday I was suffering from... well, I don't know exactly. Lisa thinks I was dehydrated, which I suppose is possible. All I know is that I had one of the worst migraines I'd ever had and nothing was relieving the pain. Then after I had started eating I kept feeling like it was all going to come back up again.

When I got home I retreated to the bedroom and collapsed hidden under the pillows and blankets to shut the light out. Lisa forced some liquids into me. By the time she had to leave for Krogers to get a few last minute things for dinner I was... well, "functional" doesn't quite cover it because I have some gaps in my memory of Lisa telling me things. But I was at least able to watch the kids while sucking more fluids down. By the time dinner rolled around I was back to normal.

Hopefully I won't go through the same thing again today. Lisa dropped me off today (might as well save the $5 on parking, y'know?) and I didn't bring my lunch because I want to try out a little pub called The Jury Room just around the block from the courthouse... I don't know why, but it's sparked my interest (and I don't even know what they serve).

End of Demented Rambling.

Must. Remember. Asprin!

2009-06-17T10:40:00.003-04:00

I got started working, and I've managed to crank out 5 pages now...

But could someone please make the tiny, tiny jackhammers inside my head stop?

Every time I try to concentrate on my manuscript it just gets worse. Maybe my brain doesn't like the Courier font?

Note to self: get some travil asprin and put them in briefcase.

End of Demented Rambling.

Ugh... Mornings

2009-06-17T08:42:00.002-04:00

I'm finding it hard to get motivated this morning.

I'm tired, grumpy, dopey... hell, let's throw all of the seven dwarves in for a nice bout of morning schizophrenia.

I have the flash drive plugged into the USB port, a mediocre cup of complimentary coffee beside me, everything's all set up, and I've done my ritual check of my e-mail.

And yet I just can't bring myself to double-click on my files and get going.

I did really well yesterday, and I want to do as well again today. Children of Llothora finished up around 40 pages and 9,000 words... right now Caverns of Baltatharon is sitting at 15 pages, and approximately 3,200 words. There's plenty more to do for it. I'm almost finished with the second part of it, and have two major sections and one concluding section to go. The prewriting is mostly done (even if section 4's prewriting is more meant for me to develop as I go along), I know where I'm going next...

You know what's next.

I even started outlining my first Lucas Moon short story yesterday, and I can't bring myself to work on that.

I don't know. Maybe I want to goof off a little. Maybe Turn Coat is calling to me a little too loudly as it rests in my briefcase. Maybe I just didn't want to say goodbye to Lisa and the kids, or maybe I just regret that Lex didn't wanted to spend time with me and I had to give him up so I could leave for here.

They just went around and collected $1.00 from all the jurors willing to give. They're pooling the money and plan on giving it to the family of the jury manager who passed away yesterday. I gave. It's a small gesture, but it's something, and I would have felt like a lousy person for not having done it (y'know, unless I didn't actually have cash on me).

Ok! Enough! I'm signing off here, and dammit all, I'm going to open a file and get some work done!

End of Demented Rambling.

Always Remember Your Alum Wrenches!

2009-06-16T13:15:00.002-04:00

I just got back from lunch to have my briefcase/laptop bag searched by security.

I was puzzled. First they had me take my laptop out... and then open it to prove there was nothing in there (like what, some kind of secret compartment?). Then they run the bag through again. And have a third security officer come over to look at the x-ray.

(mind you, this bag has been through the scanner 4 times already with no incident.)

The third officer comes over and informs the first two that the object they suspect is the handle of hand gun is, in fact, and ALUM WRENCH SET.

Hell, I'd forgotten that I'd even HAD that in there.

What really gets me is when they first asked me to open my bag, I informed them that there were three compartments to the bag. The laptop just happened to be the first compartment I'd openend. Then I opened a second compartment to take out the can of pop I'd placed there to make it easier to carry.

They never asked for the third compartment to be openend, which would have revealed... duh duh duhhh! The alum wrench set.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they're taking pains to prevent weapons from entering the building. I am. But still... if you're going to ask me to open the bag, HAVE ME OPEN THE WHOLE BAG. It would have actually made things go FASTER.

On a side note, I looked at the board in the jury managers' office, and it doesn't like any judges have closed down for the day, so there's still a chance I'll get called today. Guess we'll find out!

End of Demented Rambling.

Day Two of Jury Duty

2009-06-16T09:03:00.002-04:00

And now we begin day two. I'm upstairs on the 5th floor today, plugged in at a private workstation where I can keep power going to the laptop until I'm called to serve. I was called at the end of the day yesterday, but the case was resolved before they needed to send potential jurors to the courtroom, so I was done right around 2:00 PM yesterday.

Today's plan is as follows. As soon as I finish this post I'm pulling up the story I'm working on and typing until I hit a road block. I'll either take a break at that point (I brought the new Dresden Files book, Turn Coat, with me to read) or I'll start prewriting for a couple other ideas I had last night... including a Lucas Moon short story (no, not Kill Me Please). My goal is to make certain I'm - for the most part - writing until either lunch rolls around or I get summoned.

Ok, enough talk! On to the writing!

End of Demented Rambling.

Condemned 2: Bloodshot Review (Xbox 360 version)

2009-06-15T19:14:00.002-04:00

I've just completed Condemned 2: Bloodshot for the Xbox 360. The original Condemned was the first game I purchased when I got my 360, and I really enjoyed it. It seemed a little short, but all games that we love seem too short. The ending for the original Condemned left me confused, so when I heard that a sequal was planned I was excited for it. Bloodshot didn't disappoint.

You take the role of the same character from Condemned, but rather than being an SCU agent right off the bat you're drunk. Drunk and halucinating. The tutorial stage has you chasing after a halucintion of Ethan Van Horn, the mysterious old man from the first game who helped you out. You get some quick training in combat basics and get plenty of opportunity to explore the environment. After this stage you team back up with SCU, who are looking for the real Van Horn. When the investigation reveals that Van Horn's nephew, the serial killer called SKX from the first game is possibly still around, you start hunting him. This hunt leads you into a deeper conspiracy that goes through the ranks of SCU, the city government, and even into the ranks of national leaders.

Combat is simple on the most basic levels. The right and left triggers allow you to throw a punch with the corresponding fist when you are unarmed. Picking up one of the plentiful weapons let you swing in the corresponding direction, and the right trigger fires any guns you might pick up while the left trigger steadies your aim. Also of use in combat is the ability to kick by pressing the right thumbstick button. Kicking doesn't do much damage, but it can push your opponent back for a moment, giving you the opportunity to land a punch. The left shoulder button lets you charge, and you can deliver an elbow to an opponent's face. The right shoulder button throws whatever object you're holding, and throwing a weapon at a foe's legs can trip them up, giving you yet another opportunity for an attack. Pressing both the trigger buttons at the same time lets you block and opponent's attacks. Time it just right, and you'll make the attacker stagger, giving you - you guessed it - another opportunity to start landing attacks of your own.

Added complexity to combat comes in the form of combos and environmental kills. Combos are a string of attacks that give you a multiplier to your damage, letting you finish a foe more quickly. They range from simple left, right, left to combos that require you to parry and then start hitting. Combos also earn you charged attacks which start a slow-motion sequence of attacks that devestate your opponents. At their highest level you end these attacks by snapping an opponent's neck. When an opponent is down on their knees you can finish them off by dragging them over to objects in the area and perform multiple different finsihing moves. These areas are clearly marked by white skulls visible only while you're dragging your stunned opponent, and the finishing moves are fun to execute.

All of these factors make combat fun, though fighting multiple oppoenents can require some work. Later levels require more use of firearms, something that I don't think game handles quite as well, but in a pinch you can always chuck that empty automatic rifle at your opponent, bum rush him, and then unleash a combo on him ending with an environmental kill or a charged attack. And then you can pick up his gun and keep on dishing out bullets.

The game has more going for it than just slaughtering enemies. There's some faux-forensics work to be done, requiring you to use your evidence kit to examine crime scenes and find clues. Your kit includes a GPS unit that doubles as a communications device, a UV light to help find blood spatters and trails, a spectrometer that can identify odd sonic vibrations in the air (and apparently traces of formaldahyde as well), and a digital camera. Once you've entered a crime scene you'll be directed by Rosa, you partner in the forensics lab, on what to look for first. You'll then get a series of choices to choose from, allowing you to identify evidence. For example, if Rosa wants you to try and identify a victim, you might start by identifying that he's male (getting the choice of either male or female), his age (chosen from things like adolescent, adult, elder), the clothes the victim is wearing, and any other features. After you've chosen all the evidence the game wants you submit it to Rosa, and the game informs you how well you did by rating you as poor, good, or perfect. Getting a bad rating doesn't stop the game from progressing, as Rosa normally finds your mistakes and helps you move along. The forensics work puts a nice touch to the game, harkening back to the original Condemned, and really helped me to feel like the main character was actually a trained SCU agent.

The storyline is about average. It verges into the scifi in what seems like a departure from the more realistic original game, though the storyline makes the more fantastic elements of the original Condemned make more sense. You interact with a number of other characters and a "response system" is implemented, requiring you to press the A button within a certain period of time to react to an event or statement. They could have left this part out, but at least it's something. Most of the story is told through cut scenes that take place between the different levels. When you beat the game make sure you wait through the credits, or you'll feel letdown by the last sequence. They've definitely left room for a sequel.

The downside of the game is that things can sometimes be hard to make out. For example, while being asked to identify a body by looking at the victims wallet, I couldn't actually make out the name on the ID because there was too much light reflecting off the wallet. The graphics are otherwise very good, but when you do run into this problem it can be quite frustrating. The game also has a few sequences where you are chased by something too tough for you to fight. For example, a killer bear. These sequences are frustrating, not in the least because if you do something wrong you're dead. No chance to escape again, just dead. Still, the game doesn't penalize you (at least that I could tell) for dying, so you have plenty of opportunities to get things right.

Overall, Condemned 2: Bloodshot for the Xbox 360 does a lot of things right. The hand to hand combat is some of the best I've played, and the forensics element of the game helps keep things from becoming a non-stop slugfest. The story is of average quality, and may seem a little "out there" compared to most of the original Condemned's story, but it did make the ending of the first game make sense and served to create a setup for a sequel that I can look forward to. Finally, a few areas where it can be hard to make out parts of evidence or sequences that are either "make-the-right-decision-or-die" detract from the game, but the game forgives your mistakes enough to keep on playing.

Ultimately the game made me want to keep playing it through to the end, and I had fun doing so. What more can you really ask from a game? 4 out of 5 stars ****.

End of Demented Rambling.

Oops

2009-06-15T16:55:00.001-04:00

So today my mother let me know that she was unable to leave comments on my blog.

I went into settings and lo and behold... they weren't set to let just anyone leave comments, only members of blogspot.com (where this blog is hosted).

Oops.

I changed it to allow anyone, even anonymous users, to leave a comment... at least I think I did. Won't know unless you comment.

So step on up and leave me a comment to let me know that it worked!

End of Demented Rambling.

First Day of Jury Duty

2009-06-15T10:12:00.002-04:00

Well my Jury Duty starts today. I am now officially in the Jury Pool. From the sounds of things they might be busy enough that I'll get assigned to a case quickly. There are 2 cases already open for 1st-week jurors, but they haven't called any names for seating yet.

It's the nature of the first day of something new for at least one snag to happen. I had Lisa drive me downtown to avoid a potential prolonged-search for the county parking garages, and then I forgot to grab my lunch as I got out of the car.

You know what? If this is the worst thing to happen today I'll call it a success.

I'm not sure how long my laptop will last me today. I don't see any outlets to plug into down here. There's a "quiet room" upstairs on the 5th floor, so I might explore up there at some point. Right now I'm seated at a table with a woman whose name I don't know seated across from me working on her laptop, and an unfinished puzzle next to me. Thrilling. I've got two books with me, my laptop... let's hope it's enough to last me through the day, assuming I'm not called.

A lot of people here are complaining. They don't want to be here, they don't want the inconvenience. Maybe it is a pain in the ass, but I appreciate that the Jury Commission is doing what it can to ease us through this, and it is an honor to serve the government in exchange for the right to vote. I've always said that if a requirement to be able to have any kind of voice in my government is that I must answer if called to serve, then I'll answer when called. Whether that is through a draft or for Jury Duty.

Here we go folks. Cross your fingers; maybe at the end of these two weeks I'll have some more proposals/stories ready to submit!

Of course, that requires me to be able to keep my laptop charged...

End of Demented Rambling.

Update

2009-06-13T13:07:00.002-04:00

I haven't written anything in a couple of days. Not much has been going on.

We dropped the kids off with the other house for the weekend and learned that the biological father had been off of work all week because he'd been in the ICU for an irregular heartbeat. Kind of upset that we weren't notified, but not really surprised either.

So what wild and crazy things are Lisa and I up to with our free weekend?

Well, Lisa's doing laundry, I've vacuumed the living & dining rooms, refilled the gas can for the lawnmower, and generally been taking care of Lex. Lisa tried to get a little reading in, but Lex won't tolerate not being the center of our attention for too long. Right now Lisa's laying him down for his nap while trying to play the Sims 2 at the same time (he falls asleep on her and then we transfer him somewhere else).

I KNOW. Sounds like fun right? Eh. Everyone's gotta have a chore day. Today's ours.

I just found back an old Cthulhu plushie from downstairs. Lex started giggling when he saw it. Hurray! Get 'em started on the Lovecraft young!

Hmmm... Lovecraft for bedtime stories... nah, don't want to make the therapists' jobs too easy.

End of Demented Rambling.

The Children of Llothora has been submitted!

2009-06-10T20:08:00.003-04:00

The title says it all. I just finished the cover letter for The Children of Llothora to be sent to Weird Tales, attached the file, and it's away!

It can take 6 - 8 weeks to get a response, so meanwhile I'll just be working on the next manuscript. I've got the outline up in my word processor now. Trying to bang out some details on it.

Le sigh. I hate prewriting. Three cheers for unavoidable evils!

End of Demented Rambling.

Kill Me Please Part Two

2009-06-10T11:39:00.007-04:00

There is a certainty of imminent death brought on by having the barrel of a gun pressed to your temple. I'm on good speaking terms with death, and I don't believe in the cliche of your life flashing before your eyes. I do believe in the weakening of your bowels and also that you might have enough time to regret the decisions that have brought you to the point of death. Exhausted, injured, and utterly without options I pondered on the fact that the whole reason I was in this mess was because one man couldn't follow the rules.

If you try to look up "Lucas Moon" in the phone book, you won't find me there. Certainly there could be some other guy that shares a name with me, and maybe he's in the phone book, but none of my cell phones are listed. I don't keep a Yellowpages ad saying "Professional Hitman, specializes in the supernatural". You want an ad open for the public, I hear there's a guy in Chicago who might fit the bill for you. You want to contact me? It's not easy.

I don't object to taking on jobs. I'm not burdened by a conscious that regrets what I do for a living. Everyone has something that they excell at, and a lucky few are able to translate that natural talent into something that can provide them with money. For me, it's killing. I was born to be a killer, a predator walking among the lambs. It's instinct, it's pleasure, and if I didn't channel it the way I do I hate to think what kind of monster I'd be.

Because I'm good at killing, especially at killing the things that fall "beyond the norm", I'm able to command a high price for my services. I have a stable body of regular customers that manage to keep my schedule relatively full. Some of you may be horrified of that thought, but frankly violence is in our natures, just most of us can't bring ourselves to act on it. Even those institutions held as "good" or "pure" have need to remove someone from this earthly coil on occasion. One of my regular customers is the Church. Yes, the one in Rome. I doubt the Pope has ever seen a line item on the budget that describes paying a hit man, but the checks always cash.

I have strict rules regarding setting up a meeting with me. When you make a name for yourself in this business you run into two main dangers. First, you make enemies who will want to see you dead. Second, there's always some new up-and-comer looking to make a name for themselves by taking out the business's celebrities. With so many people gunning for you, it becomes natural to just assume that you are in someone's crosshairs at any given time. This isn't paranoia, it's just the dangers of the profession, like torrid sex affairs are a danger for politicians and TV elevangolists. My rules are in place to minimize the risks to both myself and my potential clients. All of my regulars understand and accept my rules.

My first rule is simple: You never schedule an appointment with me. I don't answer my phone, I don't have an answering service that keeps a copy of my calander. You want to reach me, you contact a phone number that always go voice mail. You leave details about yourself, and I contact you with a when and a where. This offers me the chance to research any new clients that have been referred to me by my regulars. Lowers the chance of an ambush or being hired for a job that is really a trap. I maintain multiple cell phones, each kept in a safety deposit box at a different bank. When the voice mail gets a message it sends a text message to the phone I keep at my house. I check it once a day, leaving it on only for as long as I need to in order to retrieve missed call messages, and then I visit the phones in question with fresh batteries and listen to the voice mails.

My second rule is also simple: If you're not one of my regular clients, you go through a test. This allows me to see if you can follow simple directions. The test also proves that you have the means to pay my fees, by checking to see if you can handle a down payment. To that end, new clients that have passed my screenings get told to drop a briefcase full of cash at a location and walk away. That simple. If they can handle doing that, and can afford the amount I set, which is a minimum of twenty thousand, then I contact them a second time with the location where we will meet, usually thirty minutes before I want to meet. Failure to follow my rules gets you fleeing in terror and a loss of a briefcase full of cash, with no meeting to show for it. Call it a penalty fee.

Regular customers don't go through this. They've already proven they can follow the rules. They get their own private cell phone number to contact when they want to hire me, and typically can get a meeting arranged almost as soon as I've received their message. That's one of the benefits of being a reliable customer, excellent customer service, and a hit man who likes doing business with you.

My new potential client had been refered to me by Marcus Gioni, who isn't the head of the crime families in the city, but he's the lieutenant who will inherit them. The referal had turned out to be an accountant who double as a mouse of a man. I had decided to set him up for the payment test for two reasons. The first was because I didn't want to anger a regular customer who had sent several good jobs my way. The second was because I couldn't fathom what this guy could want with a hit man whose reputation was centered around taking out supernatural creatures.

I arranged for him to drop the money at a construction yard at one in the morning. No lights, no witnesses, and plenty of high places for me to watch how well the mouse followed my rules. I had arrived early and taken a perch high enough to observe his action without risking his noticing me. The moon was half way to being full and hidden behind a patch of clouds.

The mouse, his real name was Arthur Cranshaw, arrived promptly on time and took the briefcase over to the barrel I had indicated as the drop point. I watched as he looked around the barrel, inside it, and then scanned the surrounding area. I waited for him to put the case inside the barrel and leave, just like I'd told him to. And waited. And then still waited. Arthur Cranshaw seemed to have failed to understand what "put the money in the barrel and leave" meant. Instead he was clutching the briefcase to his chest and looking around like he expected me to magically appear.

After half an hour I was annoyed. Forty-five minutes of waiting made me angry. After an hour the moon had come out and I was livid. I'd had time to study Arthur Cranshaw, and my impression of him hadn't changed. He had a small nose, a hairline that had fled long ago, and wire-framed glasses. His glasses were comically large, and I couldn't help but compare him to the Disney mouse. He was slightly overweight, the danger of a desk job, and he didn't look comfortable in his suit, possibly because it must have been purchased when his waistline was smaller. But the most important thing about him was that he was still standing there and not following my rules.

It was around 2:30 in the morning when Mr. Arthur Cranshaw finally did something that set me off. Apparently the fact that he had been standing around for over an hour waiting me to make an appearance I had no intention on making wasn't good enough for him. He must not have felt like a complete fool, because without warning he starte to call out, "Mr. Wolfman! Mr. Wolfman, are you there?"

Let's get this straight. I didn't come up with the name. I hate people calling me it. At one point a man named Gus who works at my favorite pizza parlor decided to use it as a joke. Unfortunately a sleezebag that works for Gioni overheard him, and the name spread like wildfire. I've made a concentrated effort on letting everyone I can know that referring to me as "the Wolfman" was a good way to end up holding your intesitines in your hands.

"Mr. Wolfman, I have the money like you asked."

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore.

I leaped down from my perch and stormed toward Cranshaw, determined to show the mouse what happens when it gets the big bad wolf angry. The problem with playing the part of the big bad wolf is that you have to be angry, and when you're angry you make mistakes.

Like breaking your own rules.

I didn't bother with stealth. I didn't bother with trying to make myself look scary, because you can never do as good a job as what you naturally do when you're furious beyond all belief.

Cranshaw wasn't a heavy man. Even with during the daytime of the new moon I could have picked the guy up with little effort on my part. With the moon waxing half full and feeding my strength I could have launched him past the roof. I settled for slamming him into the nearest girder with one hand, tearing the briefcase away from him with my other hand. His head slammed into the girder with an audible "clang" and I smelled the strong scent of urine. His glasses flew from his face and happened to land right next to my foot. Stepping on them was a sheer coincidence too, I promise you. If I had enough time I'd "coincidence" him into the hospital.

I got my face up close with his, let him feel the heat of by breath as I snarled at him. He must have been far-sighted, because he didn't seem to be having any trouble seeing me right now. I could see the reflection of my yellow eyes in his own. I bared my teeth so that as many of them showed as possible. My teeth are pointier than most people's. baring them at someone tends to get the desired effect.

"Is English not your first language? I gotta speak French, maybe Spanish, to get you to understand? 'Mettez l'argent dans le baril et partez'? 'Ponga el dinero en el barril y váyase'? Do you understand now?" His bladder betrayed him again.

"I... I don't understand, I thought we had a meeting Mr. Wolf- grrck!" He stopped talking because I had dropped the briefcase and grabbed his throat, shutting off his windpipe. My nails were digging into his flesh.

"Don't. Call. Me. That." I barely even spoke at a whisper. I'd narrowed my eyes, and my nose was almost touching Cranshaw's as I kept tightening my grip on him. Cranshaw was starting to turn interesting shades of blue and purple.

"Gack, gurk!" He managed to get out.

I have excellent hearing, beyond what anyone would expect possible. I heard the click of the bolt action of the rifle closing. My anger drained from me instantly as my survival instinct kicked in. I threw Cranshaw to one side as I dove to the other. Maybe the shooter would get confused and hit him by mistake. Maybe he'd just be surprised and slip on squeezing the trigger a fraction of a second. I didn't really care so long as the end result was that I avoided a bullet wound. This all assumed that I had correctly predicted where the shot would be coming from based on the direction of the sound of the click. For all I knew, I could be leaping into an even better position for the shooter to hit me.

The bullet didn't hit either of us, though it took a large chunk of the ground out. I landed in a roll, my eyes darting back and forth as I tried to pick out where the shooter was. I noticed Cranshaw land in a heap some distance away, sucking in large amounts of air. I also noticed that the briefcase of money was only a few feet from where the bullet had impacted. If I wanted some profit out of this exchange, I was going to need to put myself back into position to take a bullet in the head.

I should have known. Whenever someone breaks the rules, something bad happens. It's the universal rule. And it never gets broken.

I Survived Kings Island

2009-06-07T06:58:00.002-04:00

Took the whole family (minus Lex, who stayed with Nana and Papa for the day) to Kings Island yesterday. Fun was had by all. We got there around 9:30 or 9:45 AM, before the park had even opened. We stayed until 10:00 PM so the kids could see the fireworks. So yeah, long day.

We started our day by taking a trip to the top of the replica Eiffel Tower. The kids were really impressed by the size (and even more impressed when I explained that the real thing was three times the size of the one we were on), and loved looking at the whole park. Cassandra kept trying to identify all the rollercoasters and figuring out which ones she could go on. Cassandra's 52 inches in height, which makes her able to ride all but 4 rides at the park. Caleb, on the other hand, is still only 43 inches. Which means he is not able to ride many of the rides outside of the Nickolodean area.

Next stop was the Backstage Stunt Coaster. The line was short, so it really wasn't a problem for Caleb and I to wait for Lisa and Cassandra to go on the ride. At one point the coaster goes through a tunnel that's pitch black, and it freaked Cassandra out a little. this was her first coaster, so we had wanted to see how she'll react. The line was still short, and I hadn't been on a coaster in years, so I pulled Cassandra back into line and took her on the coaster again. She had more fun the second time.

Our second real ride (I don't count the Eiffel Tower as a ride) was the Shake Rattle & Roll... otherwise known as one of those rides that wants to send you running for the Dramamine. Caleb rode with Lisa, and I rode with Cassandra. Cassandra and I had a good time, but Caleb was freaked out at first. He calmed down and said he loved the ride, and both kids insisted we go on the Scrambler next. I rode with Caleb, and he did fine on that ride; it doesn't send you into the air and isn't as fast. Unfortunately, my tolerance for those rides is low, and I insisted we find someplace where I could grab a bite to eat to help settle my stomach (plus it was around 11:00 AM at this point, so I figured we could use a bite of lunch). The kids weren't hungry for food, but Lisa persuaded them to get some ice cream. I stopped by a Skyline Chili booth and grabbed a cheese coney (Lisa doesn't really like Skyline, so I never get the chance to have them any more).

After our food (and a quick call to Nana and Papa to see how Lex's 11:00 AM feeding had gone), we headed out for more rides! After a quick stop for Cassandra and I to ride the bumper cars (Caleb was too short for these, and Lisa doesn't like them), Nickolodean was our goal, and we started our time there with Scooby Doo's Haunted Castle. The time predicted for the line was 45 minutes, but I'd say we were only in line for 15, maybe 20 minutes tops. Unfortunately, we had a group of obnoxious teens who Lisa reported were unconcerned about their backpacks hitting others, so Lisa was unhappy. Cassandra and I rode together. You get "flashlight guns" that you aim at targets to "scare away the ghosts" and your cart (or Mini Mystery Machine) keeps track of your score. I hit the high score for both carts at 1020, while poor Cassandra only got 90. The kids loved it, and we discovered an actor in a Scooby costume outside. We had each kid take a picture with Scooby, and it looked like Caleb was never going to stop hugging the poor guy (or gal).

Our next ride was some sort of helicoptor ride... ok, if by helicoptor you mean "really boring mechanized helicoptor ride meant to appease toddlers". Caleb had fun, but the rest of us found it excrutiating. Then we went to the Fairly Odd Coaster. Caleb and Lisa got on, but Cassandra and I ended up losing our seats to a couple of brats (I want to use another name, but I'll refrain) who cut line. The attendants weren't helping sort the passengers or anything. I was furious. Cassandra and I skipped the next train so that Lisa wouldn't be worrying about what happened to us, so we never got to ride the coaster. She offered to let us go again (the line wasn't that bad), but I just wanted away from the attendants.

We split up briefly at that point. Lisa took Cassandra to ride the Runaway Reptar coaster (Caleb was too small, I refuse to do anything involving the Rugrats). I took caleb to some small kiddie cars that he road by himself. He had a great time and wanted to go again, but I decided to check on Lisa and Cassandra and see if they were still in line. If we'd had time I was going to have Caleb ride the Merry-Go-Round. Poor Caleb didn't get the chance; the girls were just getting on the coaster when we found the exit.

Since the kids hadn't really had anything to eat I insisted we stop and get real food in our systems. $40.00 later we had a corn dog meal (Cassandra), a hamburger meal (Caleb), chicken tenders meal (Lisa), and Chicken Club Sandwich meal (me). Lisa and I got one of the 46 oz Souvenier Jugs since you could refill it all day for only $1.99 (we figured that would save on the cost of liquids). Our timing for the meal sucked. We had purchasd tickets for an all-you-can-eat BBQ from 3:00 PM - 4:30 PM, and quickly realized that it was almost 2:00 PM. We put an end to the meal so that the kids would still be hungry, and left in search of new rides.

(We had made a discovery at this point; my cargo shorts have endless pockets. I'd been carrying a bottle of Power-Aid around since the ice cream in them, and now they were carrying both kids' apple juice bottles, a bottle of sun screen - more on that later - plus my keys, cell, and wallet, each in nice plastic baggies so they wouldn't get wet.)

We rode the Wild Thornberry's River Adventure ride next (I remember it as simply the Log Ride from my youth). We loved it. Caleb and I sat in the back of the log, with Lisa and Cassandra in the very front. We got wet, an animatronic elephant sprayed us... and we had fun! During the line I noticed that Lisa was getting a little red, and she realized she had slathered sun screen on her face, arms and legs (she had on a tank top and capris), but had missed the exposed portion of her chest. She has a sun burn now. Both of us burn like nobody's business, but I had kept the sunscreen on, so I am unmarked (a welcome departure from my norm).

We rode the train to Boomerang Bay next so we could get dry. Ok, picture this irony: to get dry, we TOOK THE TRAIN TO THE WATER PARK. The kids wanted to ride some water slides, but since none of had swimsuits we refused. After getting turned around a few time we walked back toward Kings Island proper and discovered Picinic Grove (where our BBQ was being held). It was just getting started so we hopped in. The food was pretty decent for an all-you-can-eat buffet-style lunch (and much better than what we had paid for inside the park). We made the kids eat more than what they wanted, since this was dinner and it was only around 4:15 PM, but rewarded them with more ice cream (ice cream sandwich for Caleb, and Cassandra initially refused ice cream, but quickly accepted the drumstick I brought back for her). We had one unfortunate incident at this point. A guy at the BBQ started screaming that his baby was having a seizure. It wasn't, because it showed no signs of shaking. But considering the temperature was probably mid-to-high 70's, and they had been pushing the baby around IN A STROLLER COVERED WITH A BLANKET, heat stroke wasn't out of the question We had to leave the BBQ at this point... Lisa was really bothered by this, but we were happy to see first aid attendents on this scene within a few minutes. Lisa couldn't get the event out of her head, so we walked back to ye olde log ride and rode it again, switching positions and getting even more soaked. We took pictures.

It was time for Cassandra's first REAL roller coaster. Now, when I was younger my family made a near-annual trip to King's Island, and my fondest memories are of riding the Beast with my father. I had insisted on taking Cassandra on the Beast, and that was where we went next. We rode in the front-half of the coaster, and she did really well even though I had to hold her hand and her head was bouncing all over the place. She kept saying "oh no" at every hill, and almost freaked when we hit the first tunnel, but over all she did really well! We met Caleb and Lisa outside the Vortex. Lisa had taken Caleb on the carousel and the Monster (another sick-to-your-stomach ride) while they waited for us. Lisa was going to take Cassandra on the Vortex next, but she wasn't ready for it, especially the loops, so they went on the Racer again while Caleb and I chilled out.

Next stop, the Viking Ship. Fun, but it always makes me queasy. Then we took a break because I was feeling extremely worn out. We got some refills and sat by the fountains while I recoverd, and the scouted out the souvenier shops so we could plan the purchases that we wanted to make later. I remembered that my grandmother who passed away in February always bought saltwater taffy when we went to King's Island, so I insisted that I buy some before we left in memory of her. I don't even remember if I LIKE saltwater taffy, but that's really beside the point. Some things you just do out of love, y'know?

We headed back to Nickolodean and rode the Scooby Doo ride again, but no one did well with the guns this time around. Then we let the kids ride the kiddie bumber cars. Caleb couldn't get the steering down and ended up spinning in circles. Cassandra was merciless and took full advantage of his troubles, nailing her brother into a corner. They had a great time. We put them on Little Bill's Giggle Coaster next, and ended up having pictures of them made into a key chain and a magnet. Caleb looks like he's about to poop his pants, and Cassandra is grinning. They took a second picture where Caleb had a better expression on his face (at least from what we could see while we watched them on the ride), but in the photo Cassandra's arm was at just the right angle to make it look like she was elbowing him in the eye. It was funny, but didn't make for a great souvenier.

Now let's get something straight. I like coasters, but I'm not a coaster-junkie. It had been 12 years since I'd been to an amusement park, and I hadn't really thought about them at all. Lisa is NOT the same. She's a junkie, and has no interest in going the rehab. It had been 6 years for her, but she'd talked about us going multiple times. The kids were too small at that point though, so we never went. Now that we were at a park, Lisa wanted a big coaster. Hell, she deserved a big coaster. Cassandra still wasn't up for the Vortex, but wanted to try Son of the Beast (we explained that the Vortex was slower and smaller, but the loops scared her). They got in line for Son of the Beast, and Caleb and I hung out outside the ride watching the Drop Tower and Thunder Alley rides.

They never got on the ride. Cassandra finally saw the first hill and that was that. But so what? There's always next year. We went to the Drop Tower next, and Lisa and Cassandra rode that. 27 stories high, dropping at 65 mph... looked like fun, but it was too much for Cassandra. Poor girl broke down into tears. Lisa and I decided that it was time to stop the rides for the day, and since it was 9:00 PM we would have needed to quit anyway.

We bought Caleb a sword that looked like a red lightsaber from one of the street venders. He was really happy. We went back to international street and got Cassandra a Princess Hat she had wanted. I got a coffee mug with The Beast logo on it. Lisa found a Native American-style bead bracelet she really liked. And I got my saltwater taffy. (Later I discovered that we had gotten a HUGE discount on the items... apparently the cashier hadn't actually scanned the hat or the bracelet; too late for us to do anything about it, but I'm sure the park didn't lose that much money). We bought some light-up rabbit ears for Cassandra outside, and Caleb got a similar set of devil's horns. Ice cream cones for Lisa and the kids, a root beer float for me, and we waited for the fireworks display, which the kids loved.

And then the drive home, which was NOT fun. Apparently going 70 mph on cruise control just isn't GOOD ENOUGH for most drivers until I'd been forced to brake to let them pass and then resumed my speed. AND THEN they wanted to go the speed limit! I started "editing" the words to the song on the radio to express my displeasure, and Lisa had trouble talking to her mother on the phone through her laughter. The kids were asleep in the back within 10 minutes.

A quick stop by Nana and Papa's to pick up Lex (thank you both again for watching im), and we were home. We imitated zombies for a while, and then hit the sack. It was a good, if expensive, day. Caleb's already talking about going back next year so he can be tall enough to ride more rides. I can't wait.

End of Demented Rambling.

I HATE making changes in the computer

2009-06-05T10:31:00.002-04:00

I just got done editing Children of Llothora... blech.

I love writing the first draft, I love taking a red pen to that draft and writing the needed changes to a printout.

I hate the process of then hunting down each change I've made in the manuscript on the computer. It's tedious as hell and it makes my eyes hurt.

But now it's done. Now I can repeat the process again to make certain I haven't missed anything (or inadvertantly caused problems). After that I'll send the story to Wierd Tales and we'll see what happens!

End of Demented Rambling.

Award Ceremony

2009-06-04T09:31:00.003-04:00

We just got back from going to an award ceremony held for Cassandra's second grade class. Her teacher, Miss. Buchenroth, made awards with candy attached for the students. It was cute, and it looked like every student got one. Cassandra received an award for being a good assistant in the classroom that had malted milk balls attached.

We took Caleb and Lex with us. Caleb was full of questions (and seems to be convinced that Cassandra is going into middle school next year - the big goober head), and Lex was just loving walking on the VCT and showing off for the other kids at Cassandra's table.

I did my fatherly duty while there: I embaressed the hell out of Cassandra in front of her friends. Took some pictures of her (see the Facebook page if you want to view them), pointed out when she was blushing, asked her what "muic" was (she had to write her favorite memory and forgot the 's' when she wrote: "Going to music").

It was a good time. My only regret is that the biological father told her that he'd try to make it to the ceremony... even told us in front of the kids to make certain we sent him a copy of the paperwork so he'd remember to go (which we did)... and then he didn't show. And she wasn't surprised. She never even expected him to be there. Seriously, if you don't give a damn if your flesh and blood cares if you show up to things or are part her life, what's the point in calling her your daughter? I just don't get it.

Oh well. Guess it's a good thing I'm more than happy to step up to the plate.

End of Demented Rambling.

The End of the Tunnel is in my Sights!

2009-06-03T11:11:00.004-04:00

This morning I have finished the first draft of The Horror in the Basement, now retitled "Children of Llothora". It ended at approximately 9,200 words and 40 pages in standard manuscript format. I've already printed out a copy and begun to edit it. After 14 pages of taking the red pen to my work I need to stop. My eyes are starting to ache from the dim light and I need a break.

I'm happy that I've gotten this far and my editing is going along at a fair pace. I should be able to pick back up my draft after a shower and some lunch and finish marking the pages up tonight. Tomorrow I'll make the changes in the computer and print out another copy to take a red pen to. Lather, rinse, repeat until done. My goal is to get the manuscript off to Wierd Tales by Monday despite the trip to King's Island and my Star Wars game on Sunday.

Most first efforts are rejected, and I'm fully prepared for this with my story. I'm still optimisitc though. I'm enjoying what I'm reading even as I correct mistakes, and I think it's a good piece. With any luck other people will see that too.

End of Demented Rambling.

Addressing General Complaints Re: 4e continued

2009-06-02T15:04:00.002-04:00

Continuing on from the last post.

4e is more about roll-playing than 3rd edition.

Bullshit I say!

I don't even understand how this claim can be made. Is there a rule in the 4e books that I haven't noticed that says "Thine adventures shall consist of nothing more than combat after endless combat?" or "Speak not with thine DM's NPCs, except to mock them as thine broadsword cleaves they're worthless skulls from their bodies?"

Ok, the above rules would be kind of funny, but they just aren't in there nor are any other rules like it.

Let's compare editions.

3rd Edition social skills: Diplomacy, Bluff, Intimidate, Gather Information, Sense Motive.

(I don't rule Perform as such because by the rules Perform checks simply generated GP... they had no actual effect in social situations.)

4th Edition social skills: Diplomacy, Bluff, Insight, Intimidate, Streetwise.

Hmmm... same number of skills.

3rd Edition Diplomacy = 4e Diplomacy.

3rd Edition Bluff = 4e Bluff.

3rd Edition Intimidate = 4e Intimidate.

3rd Edition Gather Information = 4e Streetwise.

3rd Edition Sense Motive = 4e Insight.

Ok... our skills function the same ofr social situations... Maybe the explanations for the skills in 4e say that they don't work outside of combat?

Bluff: "You make a bluff check to fast-talk, con a merchant, gamble, pass off a disguise, or fake documentation, and otherwise tell lies." (4e PHB, page 183.)

Nope... nothing requiring you to be in combat there, though they DO have rules for using Bluff in combat.

Diplomacy: "Make a Diplomacy check to change opinions, to inspire good will, to haggle with a patron, to demonstrate proper etiquette and decorum, or to negotiate a deal in good faith." (4e PHB, page 183.)

Huh. Not even rules mentioning combat. They DO mention that most Diplomacy checks will take place in Skill Challenges though.

Insight: "You make an insight check to comprehend motives, to read between the lines, to get a sense of moods and attitudes, and to determine how truthful someone is being." (4e PHB, page 185.)

It mentions that using Insight against Bluff in combat is a minor action... but that's it so far as combat goes.

I'm stopping at this point because I think my point about social skills is clear. 4e has the same number, the same uses (actually some of them do more than just social interaction... Insight can determine if an effect is illusionary for instance). And 4e characters have greater access to these skills; Fighters have Streetwise on their class list for instance, not just Intimidate. So now I have a skill meant to represent that my Fighter is competant at chatting people up in bars and town for information!

So how does 4e not facilitate roleplaying? Oh, right, it insists that you ROLL instead of ROLE play... How? Because it doesn't have a "profession" skill? Shit, that's easy. Open up the PHB2 and read the section on Backgrounds... you want to be a carpenter in addition to whatever class you are? Ok... you are! Now exactly what effect do you want that to have on the game?

The real answer is... it doesn't have one. How many times is being a carpenter going to come into play? Or a baker, or anything else that you can't ROLEPLAY THE SITUATION OUT? Having a "Profession" skill just gives you a way to roll situation away.

4e introduces actual rules for REWARDING roleplaying social situations through skill challenges. Wait, you say, those rules just encourage you to roll for results! No. Read the section again. When you make your skill checks the rules encourage you to NARRATE the results. They encourage the DM to prompt players to explain HOW they use a skill for that situation. This is roleplaying. It isn't amateur acting, but it IS playing to a role. It encourages you to use the DM's best friend rule to award a +2 or -2 to the check for creative use of the skill check (like maybe a rousing speech?). And then it tells the DM how they can award XP to a party for going through this social interaction instead of just killing the NPCs and taking their stuff.

They had rules for that in previous editions.... wait, not really. They had "story XP" that you saw in modules, but no real guidelines on how to award it.

If your group wants to run 4e as a skirmish tactical game they can... and it'll be a hell of a lot of fun for your group! If they want to narrate every conversation and ignore skill checks for the results they can, but they won't find rules for it (nor will they in any RPG that I know of). If they want to narrate their social actions and then make a skill check they can.

There's as much roleplaying as there always has been.

End of Demented Rambling.

Addressing General Complaints Re: 4th Edition

2009-06-02T11:11:00.004-04:00

Had an online Chat with my friend Josh today where he asked me what I liked about 4th Edition D&D and listed some complaints he had with it. He had to leave to help his girlfriend with something, but I thought I'd address a couple of common issues I've heard agains the newest edition of D&D (not necessarily what Josh addressed, though some of it is the same).

4th Edition is Just a Pen and Paper MMO.

Sorry. I've got to disagree. An accurate statement would be 4th Edition uses terminology made popular by MMOs to help express elements of the game that have always been there. What do I mean? I'll start with the Roles used to define classes in D&D.

If you see the terms Defender, Striker, Leader, and Controller you can certainly draw parallels to things like Tank, Striker, Healer, etc. used by MMOs. The important thing to remember is that Roles do not define what a character is; they define what a class is BEST AT. They are hardly the be-all, end-all of a class. Here's an example.

In most MMOs, if I play a Tank I'm going to be good for only a couple of things: taking hits and pulling aggro to myself. This is because MMOs are limited by the confines of AIs and the inability of the monsters and adversaries to make intelligent decisions. Monsters et al will focus on whomever provokes aggro against them and not against the most logical target.

In D&D there are 4 Defender classes in print at the moment: Fighter, Paladin, Swordmage, and Warden. The Defender role is designed to try to focus attacks on them by forcing enemies to make bad decisions, punishing them if they attack another target. Each class also has another role that they participate in, though they are best at the Defender role.

So take a Fighter. He marks everything he makes an attack roll against, giving the enemy a -2 to any attack roll that does not involve him (or her, to be fair gender-wise) as a target. In addition, any attempt to shift away from the Fighter or attack another target gives the Fighter a free attack against the marked enemy. If the enemy provokes an opportunity attack by moving away from the Fighter (regardless of whether it is marked or not) the Fighter stops its movement if he hits with his opportunity attack, and gets a bonus to hit with those attacks. In other words, it's like screaming at an enemy "Don't turn your back on me, I'm your real opponent!"

This is NOT the same as pulling aggro. The Fighter does not have any inherit ability to force an opponent to face him. The DM may always choose to have a marked target attack another, it just might not be a smart choice for that monster. While the Fighter does have exploits that allow him to pull a specific creature to him, the player must CHOOSE for the Fighter to have this exploit. It is the player's CHOICE to build his or her character to do that. Let's look at a specific power: "Come and Get It" (Fighter level 7 Encounter Exploit). The Fighter shifts all enemies within 3 squares of him 2 squares so they end adjacent to him and then makes an attack against all adjacent enemies (marking all of them in the progress). This is very similar to "pulling aggro" in an MMO. But I don't HAVE to pick that exploit. There are 4 other level 7 encounter exploits I can select instead that do different things; one imposes an attack penalty on the target, another increases the Fighter's AC, the third does additional damage, and the fourth lets the Fighter move without provoking opportunity attacks. In fact, looking through all the Fighter exploits in the PHB from levels 1 through 30... that is the ONLY POWER that pulls enemies to you. Every other power that causes forced movement shifts already adjacent enemies or pushes them. For a Fighter to make an enemy focus on him he must directly engage the enemy, and can normally do so against only one enemy at a time (with a few powers providing exceptions to this statement).

Not, in my opinion, very MMO-like at all.

Now let's compare roles to previous editions. We'll use the Fighter again.

What does a Fighter in 3rd do? Well, just by looking at the Class Entry we can see that he a) wears every type of armor and b) can use every type of weapon and c) gets one of the highest HD in the game. Oh, and he has NO OTHER CLASS FEATURES. In other words: Wear good armor so things miss a lot, swing heavy weapon to do damage, and have lots of hit points to soak up damage. Which is another way of saying that the default for him was to engage the enemies and take punishment otherwise meant for other party members... in other words he's a Defender, but a bad one because he has no default means of keeping an enemy focused on you (in fact if you're AC and damage are doing their jobs the enemy will want to GO AROUND YOU because there's nothing other than a single attack you can do to stop him.)

1st & 2nd Edition... the Fighter is... well, he wears heavy armor and uses a big weapon to engage the front lines of his foes while his allies attack from behind or at range.... Yup, that's a Defender. Of course they also fulfil 4e's role of melee striker because in these editions there wasn't anyone else to actually perform that role.

Let's compare other classes roles in combat (because that's as far as a role is supposed to effect a character - combat). Rogues? In both 4th and 4rd they are Strikers because their Sneak Attack class features present for large amounts of damage in specific situations, and they are lightly armored and mobile (3rd did it by making Tumble a necessity for the Rogue, 4th does it by giving the Rogue a lot of powers that let them shift to avoid opportunity attacks). In earlier editions they don't fill this role, but that's because Thieves (not Rogues) weren't meant to really do much of anything in combat, they were supposed to be checking for traps and opening locks.

Clerics? In 4th Edition they're Leaders, meaning they support other characters through providing Buffs and Healing. Really, the role should probably be called Support, but who would really be drawn to playing that? In 4th Edition the Cleric gets one of the best healing powers in the game and plenty of powers to provide bonuses to their party members in combat. Plus rituals for out of combat stuff. In 3rd? Well, their spell list DEFAULTED to healing spells... a strong indication of how they were meant to be played. They had a lot of buff spells... The only thing that's changed is that 3rd Edition Clerics were broken into being able to basically be ANY CLASS THEY WANTED because they could just buff themselves into the proper class/role. In 1st/2nd edition they were mainly walking healing potions, or a single facet of the Leader role.

D&D came up with roles first. MMOs were created to emulate elements of D&D and found terminology to help explain these elements to new players. 4e is simply taking the improved terminology back.

Your mileage may vary, but when I see a D&D class I don't see an MMO class. I see the same thing I've bben seeing since the 1980s with updated terminology and mechanics.

MMOs commonly use grinds to level up characters, or collection quests to get PCs started. D&D doesn't do that UNLESS THE DM WANTS IT TO. I'm not going to the forest and killing hundreds of respawning wolves to get that next level; I'm goin through planned encounters.

Random loot drops? MMOs stole that from D&D (go back to early edition DMGs with random treasure tables that they expected you to use and try to claim otherwise). 4e advocates pre-planned treasure parcels placed throughout the adventure as the DM sees fit, customizing them to help empower your players' choices ("I know you built your character to use an axe... but here's A SWORD instead" isn't really encouraged, and you'll never hear "I know you took a feat to use that Fullblade, but I keep rolling hammers on the treasure table!" in the 4e DMG).

Stupid AIs that say the same thing over and over again? Only if the DM is lazy.

Not being able to avoid a combat through negotiation or stealth? That's the way it flies in an MMO. 4e provides mechanics so you can still earn xp while not fighting the monsters.

Spending 30 minutes explaining raid tactics to your group while the boss is ON THE SCREEN? Again, only if the DM lets you do it (personally, Orcus is already attacking you. Keep talking if you want).

In summery, 4e's rules don't support it being an MMO any more than previous editions do. It borrows effective terminology to help explain concepts to new players (a smart business strategy), and continues to use elements that MMOs took from early editions of D&D.

4e only plays like an MMO if you make it.

I'll continue with other points in later posts.

End of Demented Rambling.

Back in Eberron Again

2009-06-01T10:22:00.003-04:00

I haven't written anything set in Eberron in a long time, but I just wrote the pitch for an Eberron Adventure to submit to Dungeon Magazine. With the Eberron Player's Guide releasing in just a few days and Campaign Guide releasing shortly thereafter, I think they might be looking for some Eberron-goodness in that setting.

It feels good to revisit Eberron. I really love the feeling of the world and the fact that something about it just screams "cinematic action!" to me. It's hard for me to think small in Eberron. I just want to starting blowing shit up and having epic battles on airships while dinosaur-riders swoop down on the PCs and horribly mutated Daelky-worshiping suspend captives above a large vat containing some sort of animated ooze in a chamber with large Khyber Dragonshards jutting out of the walls.

Y'know, the FUN stuff!

"Let Sleeping Giants Lie" doesn't have the best title ever, but it starts out with the inn the PCs are trying to stay the night in EXPLODING right before the PCs arrive, just in time for the PCs to see the burning body of a Shifter Druid run out of the explosion and beg them to finish her quest with her last gasp. Follow that with a battle with assassins atop a series of bridges suspended above a drop that spells certain death to anyone who falls, a dungeon crawl to stop an ancient mutated Giant from awkening and destroying Sharn, a betrayal at the bottom of the dungeon and then a rush to escape the crumbling caverns afterword...

Indiana Jones, you can take your Crystal Skull and shove it back up E.T.'s ass!

I really WANT to write this and get it published! I'm salivating at the thought! Hell, I want to PLAY THIS, right now! Bring on Eberron-goodness, now!

End of Demented Rambling.

Back From Getting The Kids

2009-05-31T11:36:00.003-04:00

We got the kids back early this weekend. Ryan & Lauren are moving to Howard, OH today and they didn't want to handle transporting the kids and unpacking at the same time, which I can understand. So we met Ryan in Washington Courthouse at 8:30 am this morning and then drove back home.

This was the first "long-ish" drive I've taken in the new Buick. It's nice having cruise-control now, but I'm concerned about the gas mileage. I set the trip odometer back to 0 when I filled up the tank last and it looks like we got 140 miles out of 1/4 of a tank. I can't do the math to figure out what our mileage is since I can't seem to find a listing of how large the gas tank is anywhere in the documentation that came with the car. Grrr.

We greeted the kids and told them about our trip to Kings Island that we're planning for the 6th. They didn't get too excited (maybe they didn't realize how soon that would be) so we teased them by saying that it sounded like they didn't want to go and we'd just cancel the trip. They didn't like that idea at all!

Lex was really happy to see the kids. He started giggling and laughing as soon as they got out of the car. Both Caleb and Cassandra rushed over and started talking to him and making him laugh.

Oh and Lex said "kitty" and "big kitty" for the first time today! Very excited!

End of Demented Rambling.

Eberron Player's Guide

2009-05-30T17:47:00.002-04:00

Most of the people I've gamed with since Eberron came out for 3.5 know how much I love the setting. I think I'm only missing one book and one adventure for the whole line.

I was really hoping that Eberron would be the first setting released for 4e, but hey, what're ya gonna do?

So next month the Eberron Player's Guide comes out (apparently there were some delays in the Campaign Guide and the PG got done early so they reversed the release schedule from how they did Realms) and I'm really looking forward to it. There aren't a lot of details out about it yet but I just read a post where someone talked about his experience at a Game Day that had Eberron pre-gens in it. Apparently there was a Kalashtar Invoker among the pre-gens, so the Kalashtar are back and in the PG (no real surprise there since Shifters were in PHB2). They'll probably do an official Warforged write-up in there as well (that's speculation, but while there is a Dragon article expanding the race the only stats in print are the ones in the back of the MM meant to help DMs make NPCs) based on the fact that there's going to a preview for the Warforged Juggernaut Paragon Path. And Artificers are going to be in there, but that preview was released before DDI went to a subscribers-only service.

Some of the pre-gens in the Game Day apparently had Dragon Marks, and the poster said that they interacted with powers (at least some of them) and gave the PCs access to certain rituals without need for the Ritual Caster Feat. Keith Baker dropped into the thread and mentioned that Dragon Marks have a little something for everyone, but are each geared for one class to REALLY want them (i.e. the Mark of Healing presents some attractive benefit for any class that has healing powers). He doesn't go so far as to say how, explaining that he was only involved in the early discussions of the EPG and doesn't know how the final results turned out, but flavor-wise he explained that it might be that certain rituals were designed to mimic the abilities that Dragon Marks gave their house members, something that I think is a really great idea for the setting.

The Kalashtar sound like a much better class than in 3.5; they now gain an At-Will Telepathy power with a range of 5, much better than the old 1/day mindlink power (I mean really, what was the point?). Also they apparently have a racial power that gives themselves and their allies a bonus to their Will Defense (I'd imagine it'll be an immediate interrupt encounter power that targets the Kalashtar or one ally within a range of x squares... I doubt its a group buff power).

The original poster in the thread I was reading said that the Kalashtar definitely got Wisdom as one of their racial attributes. People are speculating Charisma as the other attribute, which would make the Kalashtar the first race to offer +2 to both Wis/Cha... nice to get a different attribute combo rather than one we've already seen.

Hopefully there will be more great stuff to come. From what I understand the setting is virutally unchanged from the 3.5 setting so I won't be too upset if the Campaign Guide is vague on a lot of details... after all, I have so much for 3.5 that it won't matter to me; 4e rules for the Delkyr and their ilk will make me happy.

Time to start making some 4e Eberron adventures, or converting the published ones I have already...

End of Demented Rambling.

I Love Getting New RPG Books

2009-05-30T15:04:00.004-04:00

Just got in my copies of Adventurer's Vault, Monster Manual 2, and The Forgotten Realms Campaign Guide. I've read most of them already, but I've been checking them out at the Library. Now I don't need to worry about renewing them! Huzzah!

I'm really happy with 4e. 3.5 had a lot of issues that really killed the fun for me after a while. I'm just not a super-optimizer type of player and frankly I like playing Fighters.

3.5 Fighters are NOT fun after a certain low level unless you multi-class, and at that point you aren't really a Fighter anymore.

So 4e's equalizing of all the classes is a real feature for me, but I'm getting away from my point.

I like the Adventurer's Vault because it really expands equipment options and provides Alchemy for characters. It's not a "read from start to finish" kind of book, but it's a useful book. No matter what character you're playing, this book has something you'll find useful. Not to mention that more magic items gives me more points of comparison for determining the appropriate level for my homemade magic items.

Monster Manual 2 provides more monsters (duh) for a GM to mix into encounters. Not just ne monsters, but new types of existing monsters (more gnolls, goblins, etc.) to help broaden encounters with that monster race. Many of these monsters are high-end Heroic Tier monsters, but since DMG 2 is going to focus on play for Paragon-Tier it should be expected that they would focus more on those levels of play. There's still plenty of lower-tier and Epic monsters though. Dretches make an appearance as Level 2 Brutes, and Dagon (yes, the godlike Deep One from Lovecraft's writings) is there for Epic characters to face. There are more, but those are just examples.

The Forgotten Realms Campaign Guide presents all the information needed for a 4e Realms campaign... ok, not really... not even close really, but it DOES give you a solid start for the campaign and a method of "resetting" 3.5 campaigns to make the transition to 4e smoother. They've killed off or demoted a LOT of the gods, presumably to make it easier for players new to the Realms to get started. The old list WAS very daunting... especially if you went for the gods from every continent and not just the "main" area covered in the 3.0 Campaign Guide.

The new setting is 100 years into the future after an event called the Spellplague (started when Cyric murdered Mystra at Shar's bequest and both the Arcane Weave and the Shadow Weave came apart) has reshaped Toril and the planes. A new realm called Abeir is introduced, a mirror of Toril created by AO to stop the war between the Gods and the Primordials (which I believe is new to help the Realms fit into the backstory 4e uses). When the Spellplague changed the planes it merged portions of Toril and Abeir together. Whole regions of Toril have been replaced by regions of Abeir, also allowing the Dragonborn to enter the world (which is why we've never seen them before; it works as an explanation as long as you don't mind a little cheese in your setting). The Netherese Empire is back, and they've conquered some of the regions around them, including Sembia. Cormyr has had to claim some of the Dragon Coast, and Myth Drannor has been restored to its proper glory. The Zhentarim aren't really the Big Bads of the setting anymore... the split in their ranks between Bane and Cyric has made them unable to compete with the Netherese, and they actually help resist them to some extent (because they'd rather Bane conquer the world, not Shar). The Red Wizards of Thay are pretty much gone... because most of Thay is now full of undead thanks to the efforts of one wizard's attempts to become a Lich going awry.

My major problems with the new Realms is the limited release schedule it gets. My wallet appreciates this, but having the Realms content limited to one Campaign Guide, one Player's Guide, and one adventure means that a lot of content is vague. In some cases this is good. I can fill in the blanks in regions, but it also means a lot more work for me. For example, I want to create an adventure in Cormyr. I want to do something in the Storm Horns. The entry on the Storm Horns mentions Eagle's Peak and Skull Crag, not to mention Castle Crag and High Horn... but the map provided doesn't list these locations. Not a big deal if you and your players are new to the setting but if I wanted to run something with Josh and Paul (who have both given me the impression that they're large Realms fans) I want to at least try and get the geography right! Why mention these areas if you aren't going to at least give me a dot on the map?

My other problem is the lack of information on the gods. The greater gods are detailed, and there's a list of lesser gods and exarchs, but little to no detail on them or which gods they actually serve. For example, Tempus is listed as an Unaligned Greater God with the Sphere of War, and whose domain is called Warrior's Rest. There is no mention of any gods who reside with him or exarchs who serve him in his entry. Looking among the list of lesser gods I see that Beshaba (Alignment: Evil, Sphere: Bad Luck) also resides in Warrior's Rest. I had to read the description of Warrior's Rest in the Cosmology chapter to discover that Beshaba is Tempus' lover. The Exarchs aren't any better; Garagos (Chaotic Evil, War), The Red Knight (Lawful Good, Tactics), Uthgar (Unaligned, Wildlands), and Valkur (Good, Sailors) all reside in Warrior's Rest... Now, I can expect that The Red Knight is an Exarch of Tempus, since they've always been connected. Garagos probably is too since he has the sphere of war just like Tempus (and since Tempus is Unaligned he probably doesn't mind having Exarchs of opposing alignments). But what about the exarchs of Wildlands and Sailors? Again, turning to the Cosmology section I see that Tempus regards the Red Knight as a daughter, but then it mentions that his other exarchs maintain their own realms... so does that mean taht Garagos, Uthgar and Valkur are exarchs of other gods?

I have no idea, and I wish I did. Since most of the Gods don't even get Channel Divinity Feats in the Player's Guide I can't even make use of them without needing to design new Channel Divinity Feats. I'd rather they had just died along with the other missing gods if there wasn't enough room to give me information on them.

Don't get me wrong. I like the book. It's beautiful and the changes are sufficient for me to feel like the Realms is a place I can make my own again instead of the "It's done, move on" feel I had in 3.5. I just wish there could be a few more supplements to help flesh it out a little more and prevent me from needing to put more work into the world. With the number of dieties in the Realms it could REALLY benefit from an updated Pantheon book describing the Greater Gods, Lesser Gods, and Exarchs in more detail, and maybe giving us a greater description of their realms. I don't want the glut of products from 3.5, just a few more to help me along my way (or else give me a REALLY GOOD set of guidelines for creating balanced Feats so I can at least create a few more Channel Divinity Feats for players who don't like the greater gods).

Maybe Dragon magazine has (or will have) future articles to flesh this stuff out. Maybe I should send them a pitch to write one. In the meantime I'll just need to pull out some of my 3.5 and 2nd Edition Realms material to fill in the blanks.

End of Demented Rambling.

The Forbidden Kingdom

2009-05-30T14:14:00.005-04:00

Lisa and I just watched this last night, and I have to say that I enjoyed it.

If you haven't heard of it, this movie stars Jet Li and Jackie Chan, as well as a few stars pretty much unkown in the U.S. but that are big names in China. The movie is a wuxia wire-fu martial arts flick. It came out in 2008 and was a reasonable box office success (it cost $55 million to make and made about $111-$128 million at the box office; I'd call that a success, but I'm not a studio executive).

The story goes like this: a young boy named Jason in south Boston (played by Michael Angarano) loves kung fu movies and games. He notices an ancient staff in the shop at Chinatown where he buys his bootleg movies from. The shopkeeper tells him that the staff has been there since his father ran the place, but the owner has never come to claim it. Later that night a group of thugs force Jason to get the shopkeeper to open his doors and then proceed to rob him. The shopkeeper uses the staff to brain one of the thugs and is then shot by the thugs' leader. The shopkeeper charges Jason with getting the staff back to its owner and the thugs start to chase Jason because they think he'll turn them in to the cops. Jason makes it to the roof but is cornered. Suddenly the staff pulls him off the roof an he hurtles to the ground...

... instead of impacting he awakens in mythical China. The village he is in gets attacked by the Jade Army. One of the Jade Army officers notices Jason's staff (he woke up with it) and orders the army to arrest him. Jason flees and is saved by a drunken scholar (played by Jackie Chan) who happens to be a martial arts master. The two flee to another town and in the local tavern Chan's character tells Jason the history of the staff. It was once the property of the immortal known as the Monkey King. The Jade Warlord was angry that the Jade Emperor gave the Monkey King a heavenly title and challenged the mischevious Monkey King to a martial arts competition to prove which of them was the better warrior and master of Chi-magic (this happens while the Jade Emperor is away for a 500-year meditation). The Jade Warlord tricks the Monkey King into dropping his staff and then turns the Monkey King into a statue, but not before the Monkey King used his power to hurtle the staff away so the Jade Warlord would not be able to use its power to conquer all of Heaven. The staff ended up in the modern world. A prophecy says that one day a seeker will return the staff to the Monkey King... and it looks like Jason is the seeker!

The Jade Army catches up to them at this point and they are forced to flee after an enjoyable battle. They are almost defeated but another martial artist, Golden Sparrow, comes to their aid. She is on a quest to assassinate the Jade Warlord to avenge the death of her parents. She possesses a jade dart that can kill even an immortal. The three travel for a time, but eventually Chan's character (I'd use his name, but it can be hard to understand Chan's English sometimes and I couldn't make it out) tries to leave, claiming that there will be no wine on the journey, and he needs wine to survive. Jason is confused, and Golden Sparrow claims that Chan is an immortal, and wine is the Elixer he needs to survive. Golden Sparrow asks how much Kung-Fu Jason has, and Chan tells her that he has none. Jason asks Chan to teach him, and Chan agrees.

They train for a time (funny line: Jason complains that Chan has been having him push grass/weeds around for three days and wants to know when he's going to teach him Kunf-Fu. Chan grabs Jason's staff and hits him with it. "That strike. Tomorrow teach block.") but get detoured when the Silent Monk (Jet Li) steals the staff from Jason. They track Silent Monk to the temple and Li and Chan have a GREAT fight for the staff. Eventually Silent Monk reveals that he isn't stealing the staff to give to the Jade Warlord (which is what the others assumed); he is on a quest to find the Seeker and return the staff to the Monkey King. Chan explains that Jason is the seeker and Silent Monk starts to laugh because Jason's Kung-Fu is horrible. He joins the group because he can lead them across the dessert called the River of Sand to the palace of the Jade Warlord. During that time Chan and Silent Monk continue Jason's education in Kung-Fu (they argue the whole time because they have very different styles; Chan argues that Jason can only have one teacher and the two decide to kill one another after the Monkey King is free to figure out which one is Jason's teacher... they then both continue training him).

Meanwhile, the Jade Warlord has learned about Jason and the staff and sends his Witch to find them. She goes to the inn where Jason and Chan fought the Jade Army and interrogates the innkeeper and his family, revealing some pretty intense issues with men and that she is a master with her whip. She learns that Golden Sparrow is with them and seems to recognize her.

The group is in the dessert, desperate for water. Golden Sparrow suggests that Chan could make rain since he is a Daoist Monk. Silent Monk doubts that he's capable of it. Chan tires to create a prayer scroll and drops of liquid begain to shower him. It's not rain. Silent Monk is peeing on Chan. Chan starts to yell at him, but Silent Monk spies the mountain where the Jade Warlord's palace is located and realizes that they are at the edge of the dessert. They depart the dessert but are stopped by the Witch who orders them to turn over the staff, explaining that if she brings the staff to the Jade Warlord he will give the Elixer of Immortality and she will become an Immortal. When the refuse she sicks her troops on them, but the group escapes. The Witch fires an arrow after them.

Chan is mortaly wounded. The group thinks all he needs is wine to survive, and find a shepard who leads them to a martial arts school. Jason learns from Chan that Chan isn't an immortal... he failed the test to be made an immortal by the Jade Emperor. The head of the school tells Jason that Chan will die because his wounds are too serious. Jason realizes that the Elixer of Immortality will save Chan and leaves alone to retrieve it. He encounters the Witch along the way who leads him to the Jade Warlord (since Jason is no longer trying to keep the staff from the Jade Warlord they don't fight). Jason offers to trade the staff to the Jade Warlord in return for the Elixer, but the Warlord explains that such a trade is impossible, because he has promised the Witch the Elixer for bringing the staff to him. Jason points out that he brought the Jade Warlord the staff, and that the Witch did nothing. The Jade Warlord agrees and then decides to resolve the issue by having Jason and the Witch fight to the death over the Elixer.

I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I'll some up the rest by saying that this kicks off several fight scenes including: Jason vs. the Witch, Silent Monk vs. Jade Warlord, Witch vs. Golden Sparrow, Chan vs. Witch, and Monkey King vs. Jade Warlord. All at the same time!

The fights were great, all the actors did a good job (barring Chan's heavily-accented English, but you just have to expect it from him), and it was great to see Jet Li play both Silent Monk and the Monkey King. I've never seen Jet Li look like he was having FUN in a movie... he always has that serious "I'm going to kick ass" look on his face. As the Monkey King he is constantly grinning and playing pranks on his opponents and has so much ENERGY it's almost unbelievable. Silent Monk is more of his typical role, and I was so expecting that more serious character for Li that I didn't realize he WAS playing the Monkey King until the end of the movie when I saw both characters at the same time.

If you like fun wuxia movies at least rent this. I loved it. Lisa doesn't like this genre and didn't think it was really her cup of tea even after watching it, so if you're not into these films I don't think you're opinion is going to change. But for those of us who like 'em: watch this movie.

End of Demented Rambling.

The Village of Hommlet

2009-05-29T09:18:00.003-04:00

I forgot to post this yesterday, but I got a rewards packet from the RPGA. It was sent to my parent's house (where I was living back when I regularly judged for Living Force/Living Greyhawk) a week or so back and I just hadn't gotten around to picking it up. I was expecting it to be the same old, same old. Rewards cards to open new character options in Living Forgotten Realms and some more membership cards. Considering I haven't played in an RPGA event in a couple of years I was in no rush to pick the packet up.

Imagine, if you will, my surprise at opening the envelope and seeing a shrink-wrapped 4e module inside! "The Village of Hommlet" is a reprint of ye olde Gary Gygax adventure T1: The Village of Hommlet, updated for 4e. For those of you who have never played or read through anything regarding the Temple of Elemental Evil, Hommlet was the small village laying near the temple and T1 kicked the whole adventure series off.

This new adventure is set long after heroes have cleared out the Temple of Elemental Evil, and Hommlet has been at peace all that time. But evil has a long memory, and dark forces are converging on Hommlet once again. The PCs stuble across this trouble village and must discover the secret of the evil gathering in an old moathouse. It was updated by Andy Collins and has been designed for 4th level characters.

Visually I'm impressed. It's a free product, and I can't find a UPC on it anywhere so I don't believe it was ever intended for resale. Despite that the module looks as professional as something like Keep on the Shadowfell or any of the other 4e modules, though it is primarily in black and white (not a big deal to me at all). The cover is a thin cardstock and the insides have two sets of maps printed on them. A map of the village of Hommlet, and a map of all three floors to the Inn of the Welcome Wench. Next is a 24-page booklet detailing Hommlet and the encounters. It consists of recycled black and white artwork and a lot of maps. There are 9 encounters and a couple of skill challenges detailed in this book, each with clear stat blocks from the MM. The last part of the adventure is a nice color poster-sized map, which is what really impressed me. I mean, throwing something like that into a free adventure couldn't have been cheap. This map has an enlarged copy of the ground floor of the Inn of the Welcome Wench and a large version of the map of what I believe to be the moat house (I'm still reading the adventure so I can't be sure).

This is the best reward I've ever gotten from the RPGA and I'd like to thank them. I've been thinking about getting into playing Living Forgotten Realms recently, in part because I figure I should do at least SOME playing in the campaign if I want to write for it! I'd always meant to play in it from the beginning but decided to devote more time to my family than gaming. Still, a little pick-up game every no and again wouldn't kill me!

So thank you RPGA!

End of Demented Rambling.

First Dungeon Magazine Submission is Away!

2009-05-29T09:07:00.002-04:00

Gulp.

So I finished my pitch just a few minutes ago, and now "Foul Sacrifice" is heading through the fiberoptics of the internet to some server at Wizards of the Coast.

"Foul Sacrifice" is a side trek adventure meant for level 8 PCs. The party must stop the evil Fow'ljaaw from using stolen children as the fuel to open a portal to the Abyss, unleashing his demonic master's minions on the region. The adventure is only three encounters long. First the PCs will need to save a band of pilgrims from the gnolls attacking them, then they must track the gnolls who stole the pilgrims' children back to their lair. Inside they face another group of gnoll guards accompanied by demonic allies. Finally the PCs face off against Fow'ljaaw and his remaining servants even as the life force of the children is drained to form the ever-growing portal to the Abyss. This last encounter requires the PCs to complete a Complexity 2 skill challenge during the battle or the children die and the portal opens, flooding the area with dark energies that weaken the PCs.

And within 60 I'll either hear a request for the full manuscript or... well, I won't hear anything at all. That's the unfortunate part of this submission process. If they don't like my proposal I'll never actually hear why.

Oh well. I think it sounds like a good adventure (and I really like the skill challenge I developed to stop the portal from opening, though as I'm typing this I just thought of few changes I can make to it). I'm going to keep working on the manuscript in the meanwhile so it's ready should Wizards contact me. And I'll keep brainstorming more ideas to send them. If they won't buy "Foul Sacrifice" they'll buy something else dammit!

(Plus when all is said and done I should have some nice adventures ready for me to run whenever I get around to starting a 4e game.)

End of Demented Rambling.

Kill Me Please Part One

2009-05-28T19:38:00.002-04:00

In my life I have found several activities that should be avoided to guarantee a long and happy life. Most of them were discovered while I was in the midst of performing those activities. This case proved to be no exception. So let me state with some authority that if you are ever placed in a situation where you must choose between staying in a moving car with an unconscious driver or leaping from said moving car, you will not be living a long and happy life. You might have a promising career in being a smear on the highway, but there's really no room for advancement in that.

Faced with two undesirable options I chose the one that offered the greatest life expectancy. As the sedan sped a minimum of eighty miles an hour down the highway toward the guard rail and the abrupt lack of ground beyond, I forced my door open and propelled myself into the air. Like a carnival stuntman fired from a cannon, or their idol Gonzo the Great, I sailed through the air until gravity and the laws of physics forced me into a landing. I scraped along the asphalt, over the curb and into a nice soft patch of dirt filled with not so nice sharp rocks. Behind me I left a fair portion of skin and blood, and some tatters of denim and cloth from my clothes. I had landed on my right side but everything hurt like hell. I decided not to focus on assessing my injuries at the moment and instead paid attention to the sedan I had abruptly exited.

Two of Marcus Gioni's goons had been keeping me company in the soon to be airborne sedan. One, the driver, was slumped down in his seat unconscious from the force of the kick to his head I'd given him. His body weight was shifted just right so that his foot was apparently still pressing down on the accelerator. The other goon was trying to grab the wheel but kept losing his balance as the car swerved violently. He actually did manage to grab the wheel, but he turned it too far and the car, already going beyond the speeds most drivers can safely control, skidded too much and suffered a side impact with the guard rail that actually flipped the sedan over the rail without causing more than a large dent to the metal. The highway we had been on crossed over a busy road, and the drop was rather spectacular. I couldn't see the landing, but the crash was loud enough to make up for it. A few moments later I heard that unmistakeable sound of two automobiles colliding, and I new some unfortunate driver had been unable to move out of the way before it started raining sedans. His bad luck, but my good fortune; if the goons had somehow survived the fall the second car smashing into whatever was left from the sedan had surely killed them.

I heard the screech of tires coming to a sudden halt behind me. I half rolled, half flopped as I turned to look at the source of the noise. I had forgotten about the second sedan, this one filled with four more of Gioni's goons. Cursing whatever dieties chose to listen, I forced myself to take a quick assessment of my injuries. My head ached in complaint, but I quickly determined that I scraped a good portion of myself off on the highway and the whole right side of my body from the shoulder down stung horribly. My shoulder was radiating pain and didn't look right. I hoped that I had only dislocated it and not suffered worse, but with the speed that Gioni's goons would be upon me I didn't have the luxury of time needed to try and pop it back into place. My vision was off, though I couldn't quite figure out how, and I worried that I'd suffered a concussion. I stopped my assessment long enough to notice that Gioni's men were pulling guns. Knowing Gioni he'd outfitted them properly. Having a client who knows your weaknesses turn on you was a very unpleasant thing.

I forced myself to my knees with my left arm, then stumbled to a half-crouching, half-standing position as I swayed in place like a flower in a strong headwind. One of the goons was a poor shot and a bullet bounced a few feet off target, spraying me with dirt. That was all the incentive I needed and I began to run. Well, I ran as best I could, but whatever was wrong with my vision had thrown my balance and depth perception off and I would honestly have called it more like power-walking than running. Any form of locomotion was better than being an unmoving target and I kept trying to build more momentum. More bullets sprayed dirt around me and I took a moment to praise Gioni for getting his goons from an after-market mercenary source. Name brand goons would have already splattered my gray matter on the ground. Hell, quality goons would have simply ran me over with the car instead of stopping. And the more I focused on making bad jokes about Gioni's hired help the more likely they were to actually become accurate shots. I needed to put everything I had into building up speed, and beyond that I needed a place to retreat.

Trained instinct and keen perception allowed me to take stock of my surroundings as I ran. Not far away was the drop that had claimed the sedan I had lept from, behind me was the gaggle of guntoting goons, but the ground began a more gentle descent not far away, and beyond the steep hill I could see a concrete utility squatting below. Reaching the building was not beyond the realm of possibility, but it would not be an easy feat. I reached the beginning of the descent and paused to try and figure out the safest me to descend on my unsteady feet.

One of the goons got lucky.

Pain tore through my hip on my right side and I fell. I slammed into the earth, falling into a roll that brought me the speed I'd wanted but with the side effect of a rather bumpy ride the whole way down. On the bright side, I was no longer quite so attractive a target for the goons. They would have to stop at the top of the hill or risk taking a tumble themselves, and the longer they stood still at the top the greater the distance between us. They hadn't proved capable shots so long as I was moving and if I had any luck left to me they wouldn't spontaneously develop sniper-level marksman skills.

I reached the bottom of the hill and kept rolling, covering a better distance than I could have made running in my condition. The goons continued to waste ammunition by filling the air around me with lead, and adrenaline kicked in. I got my feet and was running before I knew what I had done. My injuries from leaping out of the sedan no longer hurt as much, and my head felt clearer. The healing was slow during the daylight, but it gave me the edge beyond that of mortal man, enough that I still had a chance of making it to safety. The building was forty yards away. Thirty. Twenty. Bullets came too close to me for comfort, but none struck me. Fifteen. Ten. Angry shouts behind me and a pause in the barking of gunfire alerted me that the goons were starting their own descent. Five.

I hit the door and bounced back. It was easier than slowing my momentum, even if it did drop me to the ground. The andrenaline was abandoning me now. I didn't have much time. I pulled myself back up and tried the door. Locked. I cursed in several languages, my favorite being in Italian, and I looked around for an alternative. I spied a ladder to the roof further down. It was suspended fairly high off the ground, probably requiring some sort of tool to hook onto it and disengage it so work could be done on the roof. I didn't have any kind of tool like that, so I was just going to have to try and jump.

If I'd been human I doubt I could have made it. As it was my injuries, and the fact that it was daytime, sapped enough of my strength that I was barely able to grab the bottom rung with one hand and hang there suspended in mid-air. I flailed about with my right hand to try and grab the rung and start hauling myself up, then I remembered that I had dislocated that shoulder. Gritting my teeth, I tightened my grip on the rung and started swaying there, building up my momentum before I slammed myself into the concrete wall in an attempt to pop my shoulder back into place. It didn't work, so I tried it again. And then again. A fourth time, and by now my left hand was getting sweaty and I was afraid that if I swung again I'd lose my grip and fall.

A bullet impacted with the wall a little to my left. At least one of the goons had reached the bottom of the hill and had decided to start shooting again. Out of time and out of options, I forced my right arm to reach for the next rung and held on as tight as I could, pulling myself up. It hurt - gods did it hurt! - but I managed it. I was now able to brace my knee on the bottom rung and managed to start pulling myself up the ladder. More bullets thudded into the wall and a fine white dust showered over me. I kept my concentration on pulling myself up. At the top of the ladder I swung myself onto the roof and kicked back against the ladder to push myself away from the edge, leaving the goons without a target.

I started to laugh to myself, knowing that they'd never make the jump up to the ladder. I doubted they'd pull off some sort of cheerleader's pyramid to let them reach the ladder. I had time to rest and recover. Not much, but something was better than nothing, and even with my natural healing slowed I would still take whatever I could get.

The sound of the ladder creaking and coming dislodged stopped my laughter. I must have jostled it too much when I kicked off against it. The ladder crashed into the ground. I stared at the edge of the roof in shock. Times had been tough lately, and I was beginning to think some higher power had it out for me.

The first of the goons crested the top of the roof and walked over to me, his swagger telling me that he was confidant that I was done for. I found it hard to argue with him as he put the gun to my temple.

Scopata, I thought to myself. It's Italian. Go look it up yourself.

Practice Makes Me Perfect

2009-05-28T19:15:00.002-04:00

I've already got a couple of writing projects going on. I have a short story that I'm working on to submit to Wierd Tales that's called (for the moment) Horror in the Basement . I'm almost certain that I'm going to change the name, but for now I'm focusing on getting the first draft finished and then killing it with a red pen so it can rise again as something better, or "editing" as most people put it. My proposal for Dungeon Magazine is almost done; it just needs a title and I need a cool name for the main villain and I'll be ready to hit "send" on that e-mail. I need to get in touch with my local RPGA Living Forgotten Realms coordinator and see if they have any adventures that need written for our region. Plus I need to outline a Hunter: The Vigil story I want to submit for the Storytelling Adventure System that I want to write a proposal for.

And yet, I have this character stuck in my head. He doesn't fit into my "horror" stories, at least not perfectly, so I have nowhere to put him but he deserves to stretch his literary legs.

So guess where I'm gonna put him? You're welcome. Call it an early or late birthday present if you like. Or call it crap, I don't care. Criticism can only improve my writing so get as nasty as you like; my skin's as thick as stone, and my head is thicker.

With that out of the way, I'll be starting a series of posts entitled "Kill Me Please" featuring the adventures of my new character, Lucas Moon. I'd tell you more about hin, but I'd rather you just find out the details as his story unfolds.

And who knows? Maybe if you guys like him enough I'll try to get him published!

End of Demented Rambling.

All Things Have A Beginning

2009-05-28T17:19:00.004-04:00

I honestly had never thought that I would become a blogger.

They've been around for what, ten years now? Maybe longer, and yet I've never participated. In fact, I've only visited any blogs maybe a handful of times at best. Still, I never thought I would sign up for a social networking site either and recently I've been doing a lot on Facebook.

Which is probably what's led to the creation of this blog. I recently tried to post a "mini-review" of Jim Butcher's "The Warrior" on my Facebook wall and became extremely frustrated by the limited number of characters. Maybe realizing that I had something to say online developed into a desire to create an online space where I could ramble to myself, my friends, and any other poor sods who found themselves wandering over here.

And so here we are.

Or at least, here I am. Anyone else with me? If so, congratulations on earning a ticket inside the demented caverns of my mind. If you've already fled, well, some of the best conversations are the ones you have with yourself.

My last job was crap. Seriously, it involved sanitizing public restrooms for a variety of businesses around central Ohio and some of the outlying areas. Yes, this is a nice way of saying that I cleaned toilets for a living. Hey kids, this is the sort of glorious career you can have with a Telecommunications - Media Studies degree. Make my mistake of not developing any field experience and staying in a media-unfriendly environment like Columbus, Ohio and maybe you'll get as nice a career! If you end up enjoying it, try not to make the mistake of getting laid off like I did.

Ok, let's call it what it really was, I was terminated because I let my manager know that I was interviewing for another position elsewhere because I wasn't getting the advancement I'd been promised. Of course my honesty was a mistake because I knew my manager was a rat dressed in cheap clothes but I'd make it again. Some values are too important.

So I was let go on Black Friday. Fortunately Lisa (my beloved fiance and without a doubt one of the best things to have ever happened in my life - are you reading this honey?) and I had already taken care of Christmas and I was able to get on unemployment. Combine that with a VERY nice income tax return, and we've stayed afloat with help from my parents.

I've been to temp agencies, spammed the crap out of hotjobs and career builder, called businesses... and nothing. With something like 82% unemployment in Ohio (not firm on that number, so don't quote it) I guess my resume just isn't cutting it. And after realizing how much I've hated applying for jobs that I didn't want, I'm glad.

I've wanted to write since I was seven. I'd compose short stories, write short scripts, and design some unknown number of roleplaying scenarios. Always for class or fun, never taking the risk of being rejected by submitting any of them for publication. To be blunt, I was a chicken-shit.

Then it hit me: I'm 29 years old, I have a mortgage, three kids (two step-children and a ten-month old), I'm engaged... and I'm not even TRYING to accomplish my dreams. Dammit, I've always been told that I'm a good writer, whether from teachers or friends. I've always believed that I'm a good writer. It's time I stop the bullshit and make writing my full-time gig.

So guess what? I'm a writer. Next step: become a PAID writer.

You still with me? Guess I'm doing something right.

End Demented Rambling.