Friday the 13th: Remake!

So Lisa and I just watched Friday the 13th (the new one, not the original). I went into with mixed feelings. I wanted to watch it mainly because Jared Padalecki stars in it (for any Supernatural fans out there, that would be the actor who plays Sam), and because I liked the original Ft13, though I never watched any of the rest of the series. I'd heard some bad things about this movie however, and many times remakes don't live up to our expectations. So what to think about this movie?

I liked it!

What, you want more? Ok!

This movie isn't really a remake of the original. It's a retelling of the series, with elements from several of the movies. Rather than being an origin of the slasher we know (and love) as Jason, the new Ft13 gives us a brief bit of history (basically the final confrontation with Mrs. Vorhees in the original) where we get to see Jason discover his mother's dead body. We also hear Mrs. Vorhees' voice whispering in Jason's head to punish 'them' (if you don't know the history of the series you might not realize that this means horney teens, because you might miss her explanation of why she's killing people).

Cut to something like 20 years later. We get a long extended scene where we meet a group of campers who are exploring the woods near Camp Crystal Lake in search of some marijuana that is supposed to be growing in the woods. All of these characters lack any memorable qualities to them other than Whitney, who ends up being a major character. We get to watch Jason butcher all the campers, right after some gratuitous sex (because all 80's Slasher-flicks need gratuitous sex... I think there's actually a law somewhere demanding it). The screen fades to black right as Jason is about to strike Whitney, leaving her fate a mystery, and cutting to the title of the film.

Six weeks later...

A group of kids (maybe teenagers, more likely college students) are going to spend the weekend at "Trent's" family home in the woods (across the lake from the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake!!). Trent is a major asshole, and we get that impression right from the beginning when he is waiting in line to pay for his gas and starts bitching because Clay Miller (Padalecki) is talking to the cashier, trying to hang a flier for his missing sister, Whitney (see how that all ties back around?). Trent tries to claim that Clay is an "asshole" because he's stopping him from paying for his gas and going. Clay stays very non-confrontational and does his best to ignore Trent. Trent's girlfriend, Jenna, sympathises with Clay and gets pissed at Trent for they way he's acting.

Clay continues travelling around the area, trying to ask locals if they've seen his sister. He has an encounter with the local sherrif who tells Clay to give it up; they've already searched for Whitney and her friends, and turned up nothing. The sherrif thinks maybe she ran off with her boyfriend. Clay protests that Whitney wouldn't do that; their mother just died of cancer, and until this trip Whiteny took care of her every day. When Whitney didn't show for the funeral, Clay knew there was a problem and came looking. Clay continues his search, with no luck, though one local tells him that "missing" in this area means "dead" and he should just get out of there while he still can.

Trent & co get to his house. We soon discover that Trent can't really stand his "friends" and that he basically invited them for the weekend so he could show off how rich his family is. He tries to convince Jenna to go have sex with him, but she's not up for it; she'd rather go hiking, and she's pissed at the way he's treating everybody. (Side note; Trent is played by "Travis Van Winkle"... his name even sounds like a rich asshole's name! He looks the part too, and every movie I've seen him in, he's an asshole... talk about born to a role...)

Two of Trent's friends decide to check out the other side of the lake, and Trent lends them his car to prove that he can be nice to everyone... then he asks them to take gas to the family boat and threatens his friend if they take the boat on the lake. The pair leave and immediately make plans to go water skiing. Clay shows up at the house, still looking for Whitney. Jenna invites him in to get something to drink, but Trent throws a fit. Jenna, now completely pissed at Trent, offers to go with Clay to the other side of the river.

As the two walk we learn that Clay and Whitney have had a major falling out; Clay skipped out on his family when he was 17, and the last time he and Whitney spoke they got into a fight. Guilt is part of what's motivating him to look for her.

Meanwhile, remember the two idiots who went along to the other side of the lake? Well we get to see more gratuitous topless scenes (note: in a Slasher, topless means "we're done with you, time to die"). The boyfriend is shot in the head with an arrow (I love that part, he even turns and "poses" for the camera), and the girlfriend is clipped by the boat. This doesn't kill her though... we save that for Jason, who stabs her in the head with a machete (another nice death scene).

At the camp Clay and Jenna get the creeps while exploring the place (it's night now, and the place is ruined... a natural reaction). As they leave they spot Jason coming into the camp and hide. There they realize he's carrying a dead body. Jason realizes that someone is there, but can't find them. He goes on to the caverns he's using as his home while Clay and Jenna flee back to Trent's house. Down in the caverns we discover Whitney alive and chained.

Confused? Well, that's because I left something out... Whitney resembles Mrs. Vorhees in her younger years. Jason's being sentimental because of the resemblance. It's mentioned early on, I just didn't feel the need to say anything.

At Trent's house Trent and his friend Bree have decided to go have sex (woo hoo, the asshole is real faithful to his girlfriend). This has some great dialogue... ok, not great but it's funny because Trent can't stop saying how great Bree's breasts are (yup, more gratuitous sex!).

Clay and Jenna arrive, Jason following, and the killing begins. First he kills off two of the other friends (I haven't mentioned them yet because they're really not that important... which is unfortunate, because they're the token Asian and Black Guy you often find in these films, and they really could have been made into much more interesting characters). Then, while Trent is yelling at Jenna for being gone 8 hours with Clay (he claims they've been having sex all over the woods), Jason kills Bree. Trent goes for a gun, but starts shooting everything. The sherrif shows up... and Jason kills him. Trent, Jenna, and Clay make a break for it. Trent dies. Finally.

Jenna and Clay make it back to Camp Crystal Lake (minor nitpick... it's still night, but the way they've made things sound it takes a few hours at least to get there... wouldn't it be daylight by now?) and discover Whitney. And then....

Nope. Not doing it. See the movie.

(Here's a hint. Remember the VERY END of the original? When Jason jumps out of the water and grabs the girl in the boat? Last scene is an homage to that, but different in its own way.)

Like I said, I liked it. It has some story issues, but most slashers do. And we don't watch slasher for the story so much. We watch them because we like the villain, we like the violence, and we like the gratuitous chest shots! This movie gets about 4 out of 5 from me. Give it a chance, it makes for a great entry point to restart the whole series with fresh material.

End of Demented Rambling.

Ding, Dong, The Crib is GONE!!!

Not gone as in, broken or destroyed.

Gone as in, not in our bedroom anymore!

Yay!!!!!

Finally, Lisa and I might be able to sleep through night without Lex joining us in bed!!!

Seriously, if you don't understand the JOY this brings us, I think something might be wrong with you!

End of demented rambling.

Repo: The Genetic Opera

We just picked up the DVD release of Repo! The Genetic Opera the other day. This was a direct-to-DVD release of the cult classic musical of the same name. Lisa and I first encountered this during a preview of the film at the Scream Award Ceremonies on Spike TV. I became interested in it and finally rented it when it first came out. We finally got around to buying it the other day.

I love this movie, and I don't normally like musicals.

(Ignore Chicago, Sweeney Todd, and Into the Woods... seriously, I don't like musicals... these are exceptions... really...)

The story is set in the future, when GeneCo, a company specializing in organ replacement surgeries, has saved mankind by perfecting organ transplants. They've created a system where customers can finance their surgeries, obtaining organs they desperately need, but can't necessarily afford at the time. But there's a catch; until that financing is paid off, the organs belong to GeneCo, and if you miss a payment, GeneCo wants its property back. To regain their organs they send out the Repo Man, a special employee who surgically removes the organ, ending the defaulting customer's life in the process.

The current Repo Man is a former doctor who cares for his ailing daughter, Shiloh, who has recently turned 17. Shiloh suffers from the same unnamed condition that took her mother's life before Shiloh was born (her father was able to save her, but at the cost of his wife's life). With Shiloh as his only family left, he keeps her locked away in their house, claiming that she can't leave because of the strict medication schedule needed to keep her sickness at bay.

Like most 17 year olds, Shiloh has found a way around this. She has learned to pick the lock to her door and escape through secret tunnels to the outside world where she collects bugs and revels in being outside (these tunnels are actually used by her father when he's acting as the Repo Man... though she has no idea of his secret identity). While outside, Shiloh encounter the story's narrator, a character called Graverobber (played by one of the opera's writers in both the film and the theatrical productions). Graverobber collects some kind of fluid from corpes to create Zydrate, a drug that takes away the agony of surgery... and is highly addictive. He peddles this drug to addicts on the street. Graverobber gets Shiloh in trouble to save his own skin, and Shiloh is saved from GeneCo's security forces (who mistake her for a graverobber) by the Repo Man (remember, she doesn't know about the Repo Man or that he's her father).

Later Shiloh escapes again, and meets Rotti Largo, the founder and CEO of GeneCo, who is dying of a fatal disease and trying to decide which of his three degenerate children he will leave GeneCo to. Shiloh becomes worried about what will happen to here and flees, being saved by Graverobber (who perhaps feels guilty about using her before). Graverobber educates Shiloh about Zydrate's uses (though he doesn't use it on her), and we encounter Rotti's daughter (Amber Sweet), who is addicted to Zydrate (at the same time that she is in charge of a Zydrate-addict support group) and comes to Graverobber to keep her addiction a secret. Amber is insaely jealous of Blind Mag, GeneCo's most visible representative (Mag has eyes given to her by GeneCo, and is the star attraction of their "genetic opera" which fans flock to in order to testify about how GeneCo has changed their lives, and to hear Mag sing). Amber wants Mag's spotlight badly, and hates comparisons between the two of them (perhaps uncosciously knowing that she can't compete with Mag's voice). When Shiloh makes a comment about Mag around Amber, the dilletante goes into a rage swearing that Mag's spotlight will be her's just as soon as the Repo Man takes care of her.

See, Mag is leaving GeneCo, but there's a fine print to her contract: she got her eyes in exchange for representing GeneCo, and should she ever leave they get the eyes back. Mag is aware of this, and doesn't care. Shiloh is panicked by this, and her panic becomes worse as GeneCo security tracks them down (they're looking for Amber). Graverobber helps Shiloh out again, and gets her home.

There, Shiloh encounters Mag, who turns out to be Shiloh's godmother! Mag had been told that Shiloh had died with her mother, and wants only to meet Shiloh. When Shiloh's father returns Shiloh begs him to help Mag, but the two bicker instead, with Shiloh's father refusing.

The next night is the Genetic Opera, Mag's last performance, and the moment when Rotti plans on revealing his terminal condition and naming his heir. I've left out a lot of background, and I won't continue the tale, because I don't want to ruin it for anyone. It's a great film though, and I highly encourage anyone with a stomach for gory effects (think about what the Repo Man does) to check it out and give it a fair chance.

End of Demented Rambling.

It makes me want to scream!!!

Ok, work has SUCKED for the last couple of days.

To explain why, let me first educate you on the "sales" process at Safelite. The day begins when you log into your phone, which inexplicably you into the "Aux Work" status. I say inexplicably because this is a mode intended to be used only to make outbound calls (something we rarely need to do in Sales), and you are marked down if your stats indicate that you spend more than .6% of your time in this state without cause (i.e. not making a call). To avoid having my "Aux Work w/out Cause" time from being astronomical, you immediately hit the "Auto In" button, putting you into the call queue. On a busy day this means you immediately have a call coming in.

Now, these calls can be for 2 reasons: Either you A) Have someone calling in who already has an order and needs to make some change to it (cancellation, reschedule, or really just wants to know where their mobile tech is), or you have B) Some form of a sales call. A little voice proceeds the call to give you some sort of helpful cue about what kind of call it is, and which business it is for (Belron U.S., the company that owns Safelite, also owns 7 other glass companies nationwide and doesn't change the name on the storefront so they can keep the loyal customers that don't want to shop anywhere else).

After greeting the customer and determining what they need, you proceed to take the call. This normally involves gathering information into our computer system that will help us identify the proper parts needed to complete their job, where the job needs to be done, and eventually a price and appointment availability. Once we get a call to the screen where we have a price listed and the available schedule for the area, that call becomes an "opportunity". Our phone stats are determined by comparing the number of appointments we book against the number of "opportunities" we were presented with.

Here's where the sales part comes in.

If I've done my job right, I've built up a relationship with this customer. I've greeted them with a warm disposition, thanked them for choosing Safelite (assuming the sale from the beginning of the call), expressed sympathy for whatever situation has caused them to call in, proved myself knowledgable by asking questions that narrows done the correct part for their work (actually provided by my system's scripting, so I sound more knowledgable about their vehicle than what I really am), and I've provided them with at least 2 of Safelite's 5 "Points of Customer Satisfaction" to help add value to our service. Now I've given them a price, offered them the suggested appointment times provided by the computer for either an in-shop appointment or mobile service (with no additional cost). They've either already given me an affirmative, or they're trying to back out of things now, and I've got some more work to do by overcoming objections.

My system provides me with a couple of options if price is the issue, though really I'm very limited in what I can do on that end of things. If something else is the problem, I'm finding a solution, whatever that may be.

If I do my job properly, I proceed to collect information such as where we need to come out to perform the service, and try to sell them wiper blades and collect credit card information and an e-mail (the latter two statistically improve appointment retention). The call is done, I thank them, and we're on our way to the next call.

All of this is expected to take 3 - 5 minutes on average. That might be about right, though of course I'm still getting into the swing of things. To encourage our sales, there are various contests and games where we earn "points" or the opportunity to play for our sales. Sounds like fun right? Well there's a problem, but I'll get to that later. First thing's first.

As you may have guessed from the above description, we have no control over what kind of calls we get. This in and of itself is fine; we're cross-trained to handle commercial calls, insurance calls, and other areas. Safelite doesn't expect us to be at 100% with our cash appointment rate (the only appointment rate in Sales that matters is Cash... ie, non-insurance or commercials sales, but customers paying out of pocket), though they do expect at least 52% (and prefer 55%). This is to allow for thos occaisional crazy calls, like the friend calling for someone else who really can't make a single decision about the appointment (remember, if we give a price it counts as an opportunity even if there wasn't really one there). However, we get enough calls in day that we should have plenty of opportunities to keep our stats up.

So imagine the frustration I'm having with two days WHERE I CAN'T SELL JACK NOR SHIT!!!!! I have friends calling (who, btw, DON'T EVEN KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE VEHICLE TO GUARANTEE WE HAVE THE RIGHT PARTS!!!) or people who are so quick to get off the phone that I can't even offer to try and get a new price or discover other objections to try and overcome... and all of this crap counts against me, and adds up over and over and over and over and...

Get the point?

To make matters worse, they implemented a system where after each call the system TELLS YOU what your current appointment rates are. So if I'm not off to a stellar start I get to be reminded EACH FREAKING TIME!!!!

ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

It is, sad to say, a TAD (read: FREAKING HUGE) demoralizing, which makes the next freaking call even harder (I want to scrream, and I'm supposed to sound chipper and upbeat... yeah, can you say "forced).

Add insult to injury, the games I mentioned before? Well, they only matter if you GET THERE IN TIME, which you don't know when the game ends. Perfect example is today. We had a game when I walked in that stated that for every 5 sales we could walk up to the prize table, pick an envelope, and get whatever prize was inside. Fantastic! Except my morning sucked... so by my break I had 2 sales that counted. After I got back from break my job coach (supervisor) came over and told everyone to only come up to the table after their shift or during their break. I did exactly as she said, finally accumulated my 5 sales, and at 3:30 pm, when my shift was over, went to the prize table. There one woman said they were out of prizes (though there were unopened envelopes on the table), and another guy said he had gotten turned away at 3:05, being told that the game ended at 3:00... even though the sheet mentioned NOTHING about a time limit (and normally they do if there is one).

Ok, why try to get me pumped up when you're going to give me instructions that means that this game is worthless to me? The impression I'm getting is either A) ignore the game, or B) ignore my job coach's instructions and run to the prize table as soon as I have 5 sales... (btw, that's what the instruction sheet said to do).

Chaos. Sheer chaos. Frustrating, and it pisses me off. This is my first week where I actually earn bonus commission based on my sales stats, and I'm having two horrible days. Sunday was good (75% appointment rate), but right now my average for the week is approximately 55%... meaning that one more bad day will tank my average. I WANT MY COMMISSION!!!!

Ok, that's it. I don't need my blood pressure to raise any more.

End of demented rambling.

Bad Me! No Doughnut!

Ok, ok... I admit it... I've been bad.

Here I PROMISED myself that after I started work I'd continue to write regularly here. And now it is August 15th (technically, since it's 1:21 AM as I type this), and my last post was on August 1st.

That is not writing regularly.

So I appologize to all of you who might read this blog regularly. I believe that makes... one of you. And myself, of course. Ah, fame... I wonder what it's like?

Now, I trust you will all forgive me if I make this post brief. Caleb has a birthday party starting in less than 12 hours, and I really should get to bed. The only reason I'm up this late is I've been working on a project for Lisa and I want to brag a little.

See, Lisa has this neat idea that Caleb should have to hunt down all of his presents with the aid of a "treasure map". This sounds like a lot of fun, since the theme for Caleb's party is "pirates". Of course, this required a map, and not just any map will do! It must look old, ratty, like something a real pirate might be using! Enter the roleplayer who has spent too much time in his youth trying to learn how to make cool props for his games! So tonight I've been aging a printout of our map to make it look authentic.

Ok, ok... I admit that clipart and inkjet printing isn't "authentic"... but if it makes you feel any better, the map has no sense of proportion whatsoever, and I suck at drawing on the computer so one MIGHT feel like I'd been drinking rum before I made it...

No? Screw it, there's a picture at the opening of this post. You be the judge (I really need to learn a way to position pictures somewhere else in my post!).

That's all for tonight. I'm tired, and there's partying (with cheesecake) to be done later today.

End of Demented Rambling.

One Week Down!

My first week on the phones at Safelite is done... and my day off is going too quickly!

I like the system they have for the computers. It walks you through, step-by-step, as you progress with a call. The system provides you with suggessted scripting so you never really need to be at a loss. It helps provide you with questions to verify that you're selecting the correct price and has numerous tools for helping you find more information if needed. The calls aren't bad. You have your usual experience with people. Some are very fun to speak with, others are short-tempered and quick to hang up. No taking it personal, you just move on. Sometimes the call volume is crushing, other times it is leisurely.

Right now my biggest problem with work is that I'm not used to leaving Lisa and Lex (Caleb & Cassandra are still gone for this part of the summer) in the morning. I'm used to having time to play with Lex or chat with Lisa. Many times when I'm leaving for work they're just waking up, so that's rough. I miss them while I'm gone. I know that as I grow used to this my missing them will effect me less, but right now its quite poignant.

Meanwhile, Lisa and I are prepping for Caleb's birthday party... and we keep meeting roadblocks. The pirate theme is surprisingly difficult to find decorations for. Lisa found some great ones on line, but shipping is insane; it costs almost as much as the actual price for the items themselves! We're ok with spending $50 for great decorations... but another $40 (or so) on top of that, just for shipping? Hell no! Unfortunately our local party supply market has real crap for pirate decorations. We're piecing things together as much as possible, but we won't be having the party (visually) that we wanted.

We also adopted a stray cat this week, the one we've been feeding for a few weeks now. We've named her Lugosi (Lugo for short), and we're positive that she's pregnant and in heat (cats can go into heat again during pregnancy). We have her blocked off in a bathroom so she has a little room to roam (it seemed kinder than keeping her in the cat carrier), but we can't let her near Bella, in case Lugo has any diseases that might pass on to Bella. We have a vet appointment with an old family friend, Emily Gabriel (it was Emily Buck when we were in preschool together... I still forget sometimes) for Thursday. Hopefully she'll be able to shine some insight on what we'll need to do to get ready for all of this.

I haven't had much time for writing. Getting used to work and the sheer SPEED that things move at there have left me exhausted when I get home. I'd hoped to work on something tonight, but my day off is just vanishing so quickly. Hopefully I'll get something do this following week. I'm working more hours this week (total of 40), but that will actually give me more breaks, so maybe I won't feel as wiped out at the end of it. (It's crazy, I'm scheduled for 8 hours, but it will be more like 6 hours and 50 minutes at my work station, as oppossed to the 5 hours and 40 minutes for when I was scheduled for 6 hours.)

That's all for now. We'll get more later.

End of Demented Rambling.