Quick Post

So I was going to write a review for Silent Hill: Shattered Memories for the Wii.

I can't. I don't want to review a product without having completed at least 80% of it.

I'm going to sum this up quick:

The creators of this product don't "get" what made Silent Hill good, nor how to "reboot" a series, because I don't WANT anything that follows this game. I loved some of the ideas in theory. Normal guy can't fight off the strange monsters, but instead has to run away while they chase them? Nice concept, but turns into crap game play that is more frustrating than suspenseful. The game psychologically profiles me to help make it scarier? Cool... except that I wasn't find that to be the case.

I'll be blunt; I was playing the other night, got through a nightmare sequence, completed several puzzles, and then entered a new nightmare sequence. I saved and told Lisa "Yeah, I'm just not in the mood for another chase tonight." and then each time I thought about starting the game up I thought "Yeah, but I'll have to do a nightmare sequence right away... and that just sucks." So here's the point: If there is an element to your game that makes me not want to pick back up the Wii remote... YOU FAILED. If I would rather go back to a game from my ORIGINAL XBOX and play that, YOU FAILED. Games are for entertainment.

Me no entertained, YOU FAIL!!! Small words make sense?

Not to be entirely negative, I've recently remembered how much Deus Ex from Eidos (yeah, they do more than Tomb Raider!) and the sequel, Deus Ex: Invisible War ROCKS (though Deus Ex was better than the sequel, but what can you do?). I can't wait for Deus Ex: Human Resistance. Something about these games just work for me.

Oh, and there's a new Spider-Man game coming out that apparently features Spider-Man 2099. This makes me happy. Very happy. Here's a link: http://spidermandimensions.marvel.com/ I may be in a minority for people who really enjoyed the 2099 lines, but I don't care. They were fun (favorite: Ghost Rider 2099).

End of Demented Rambling.

Rambling Review: Food Network Cook or Be Cooked for the Wii

Summery: This sounds like a cool idea; a game that teaches you how to cook mixed with the Wii's motion controls! Sadly, it comes out a little under-cooked, bland, and too far from actual cooking to be from a network dedicated to the art of creating food dishes.

There's a few of these cooking games out on the market now. America's Test Kitchen has one for the Nintendo DS, and Personal Trainer: Cooking, plus more (really, the DS is apparently THE PLATFORM to use video games to teach cooking techniques). Apparently these video games are becoming a bit of a trend, like fitness video games. Still, I hadn't played any of them prior to discovering Food Network's Cook or Be Cooked game. My first thoughts were "Damn, that sounds like fun; an actual game with motion controls that let me really chop the ingredients, stir the pots, and all the other items, plus it includes recipes!" We put it into our Game Queue at GameFly and recently had it delivered to our door.

The Story Behind the Game: Food Network personalities magically come through your TV and then WON'T GO AWAY.

Of course, these aren't the Food Network personalities we might WANT to see. I can think of a variety of personalities that I'd love to have magically walk through my TV and help me cook. Bobby Flay, Alton Brown, Guy Fieri, Giada De Laurentiis, Tyler Florence... I'd love one on one lessons from any of them! And for the fun of a video game, who could top Alton Brown, the guy who figured out how to make an instructional cooking show into something like Bill Nye The Science Guy?

Instead, we get Susie Fogelson and Mory Thomas. Wondering who they are? Well, why wouldn't you? Susie Fogelson is basically in charge of product marketing for the Food Network (I'm sure its more complicated than that, and I know her position is VERY important for the Network). Basically, she helps those Food Network Stars get their cookbooks, knife sets, special pots and pans, etc out on the market. She's also part of the selection committee from The Next Food Network Star show; so if you're not a fan of that, you've never heard of her. Mory Thomas? He's a chef in the Food Network Kitchens... and I only know this because of the product description! In other words, he's not a name I recognize or care about.

Now, I understand Ms.. Fogelson being in the game, at least kind of. Food Network-philes were probably considered the target audience for the game, and such people have probably watched AT LEAST one season of The Next Food Network Star, and her role in that show does give her experience judging food... but frankly, she's a corporate suit (as far as I know), so hearing her comment over how fast I chopped the garlic is meaningless to me. And Mory Thomas... I can only assume that the big names (and little) for the network assumed the game would bomb and didn't want their names associated with it, so they stuck, essentially, a nobody in the role. The only problem is, THE NOBODY IS THE ONE GIVING ME MY RECIPES FOR THE GAME.

Gameplay: You chop, you peel, you stir, you preheat... all with the Wii remote!

The game does what it sets out to do. You're given a number of meals to prepare for Susie and Mory to taste and judge. You are scored based on how fast you accomplish your goals, how warm the dishes are when they're served, etc. Various mini-games walk you through the steps of preparing whatever dish you're  working on, and an on-screen display shows the motion you're supposed to use with the Wii remote to accomplish all this. For example, you use a chopping motion with the remote to make the on-screen knife chop the ingredient, stir with the remote, and make flipping motions to use tongs or spatulas. That part's not bad.

The game ALSO requires you to have the nunchuk plugged in. Why? Well, to be honest, BECAUSE THEY DAMN WELL WANTED IT TO. Seriously. There is no function they used the nunchuk for that could not have been used with just the Wii remote. You wave the nunchuk frequently to pull an ingredient out... but they could have just had you wave the Wii remote (or nothing at all, since the FREQUENTLY DON'T REQUIRE YOU TO WAVE ANYTHING). You can press the Z-button to speed up time, but there are plenty of buttons not used on the Wii Remote that could have served this purpose (like the 1 or 2 button). And then at some points the randomly switch into a rhythm-based mini-game where you wave the Wii remote or nunchuk as a topping falls from the top of the screen into a box... which feels more like it belongs on one of the Wii Fit's mini-games!

Scoring is... strange as well. The game won't teach you proper technique for cutting or, well, much of anything. If you didn't know how to smash garlic before you might pick up that trick, or maybe a fast way to dice onions, but Food Network-philes have seen these tricks hundreds of times before. Oddly enough, the game NEVER wants you to de-seed a jalapeno; but magically, only the "pepper" portion of the jalapeno ends up in the bowl. So despite the fact that you aren't learning proper technique you ARE scored based on how fast you chop, whether you hit a target area for pouring or shaking a salt shaker, etc. It's nit-picking, and not helpful to the game's premise of helping teach you the recipes (I don't HAVE to chop that fast to make my food taste good, dammit!). After an element of your dish is finished a meter appears to let you know how warm it is; the longer you take to finish the other parts, the colder that element will be. Hot elements get you a lot of points, warm will get you some points, and cold elements deduct points.

Once you've gotten scored the virtual Susie and Mory will "taste" your food and then comment on it. And frankly, the comments are annoying. They'll award you a Bronze, Silver, or Gold medal (or announce that you've been cooked). You can scroll through the dishes to see what your scores were in each section, but would have been nice was advice to help make the dish better next time (for example, "You need to start your cous cous a little later so it will be warm when you serve the plate", or something like that). And some of the comments are bizarre. If you earn a Bronze, Mory will often say "It's a good thing I'm hungry," a comment that I take to mean that the meal is not good at all, but apparently I still earned enough to get a damn medal!

You can also review individual recipes. This sounds like a great idea "hey, that tuna dish sounded good, how do I make that in real life?" Only there's a problem. Like not including the quantities of ANY ingredient in the recipe kind of problem. Seriously, how can you claim to provide me with recipes if you don't include any quantities?

Combat: If only!

I mean, I have knives, skillets, there are annoying people I want to hit... motion-sensitive controllers.... wait, am I going too far here?

Conclusion: Food Network Cooked or Be Cooked is cold... and I want to warm it back up by putting the disc in my microwave.

Honestly, as my first exposure to cooking games... I hope this isn't the norm. It's a neat idea, at first. It sounds cool, we've got the controllers to let me feel like I'm chopping... but after a few dishes the shine has worn off, and I'm wanting to take a skillet to the virtual "personalities" (who I don't care about) who dare to criticize my "cooking". If Food Network wanted to try another cooking game I'd be open to trying it... but only if I actually had REAL Food Network personalities involved, and if the mini-games were toned down. I'm going to give this one a 2/5 score... and the only reason it isn't a 1 out of 5 is because I think they could build from this and make a good Food Network Cook or Be Cooked 2.

End of Demented Rambling.

Dear Bioware, My Wishlist For Dragon Age 2...

I've been playing through Dragon Age Origins with all the downloaded content and Awakenings recently. This new session of playing a game that I really should be tired of (but somehow I'm not) has affirmed a few of my beliefs regarding what I would (and would not) want to see in Dragon Age 2. I'd write Bioware a letter, but since it's possible we're getting the game in February, I kind of doubt that there's much point. Still, here's what I'd ask for:

Please Keep:

• Conversations among the party members; many of these were hilarious.
• Customizable tactics for my characters so I can just play my character if I want.
• Rich and detailed origins stories for the main character. In fact, give me more of these!
• Specializations to let my characters of the same class feel different from one another.
• The inventory system (but you can do away with the "junk" category; it's purpose could be accomplished with a simple "Do you really want to destroy this item?" confirmation box).
• The HUGE number of Codex entries.
• Stamina droughts. WHY WEREN'T THOSE IN THE MAIN GAME?!?!?!?

Please Add:

• The ability for me to sort the order of my Codex entries (make newest entries on top, all unread entries on top, whatever) OR make it so I need to "mark" an entry as read by pressing a button or something, rather than marking it read as soon as I scroll over it. I like the Codex, and I'd like to be able to find my new entries.
• Different skill lists for each class. Make the lists bigger, let classes have unique skills to help make this part of the game feel like more than an afterthought. Rogues can keep things like Stealing, Poison Making, and Trap Making (oh, and change the lockpicking and stealth Talents into skills). Warriors could have skills that help them aggro their foes (move those Taunt abilities to skills, rather than Talents), and maybe armor or weapon crafting skills. Mages can have Herbalism, Rune-Making and the like. You can keep some skills generic (survival & coercion for instance). Just do SOMETHING so I feel like I have a place to put skill points for my warriors once I've maxed out combat training!
• More enemy types, either enemies who look different (all shades are exactly the same), or just a greater variety of creatures so I don't run the risk of feeling like I'm fighting the same Qunari Mercenary over and over again.
• More download content that provides either new characters or greater background on existing characters. Alternatively, new Specializations from DLC. 
• More consistency between the storyline elements and the codex (why is the Sloth Demon ruling over two Desire Demons, when the Desire Demons are considered higher ranked?).
• Download content that actually works with your goddamn expansion pack!!!! Seriously, if it came out ON RELEASE, then there is NO REASON that my items should vanish when I import my character to your next expansion. Telling me that the items were only intended for Origins is bullshit.

Please Get Rid Of:

• Not being able to access my companion's crafting skills while I'm camping. I don't like needing to leave camp to make a Health Poultice or Vigil Keep just to work on making that Paragon Flame Rune. Sure, you could say "but if the main character has those crafting skills you're set!" However, if I want to maintain consistency with your background for the world, only a dwarf should be able to take Rune Crafting... and maybe I don't think Herbalism fits with my warrior. It's an RPG, don't make me take skills for a character that I don't feel fit just to make crafting them convenient!
• Stamina/Mana and Health increases as skills. Just... no. This was silly. Could you seriously not come up with better skills?
• Buying additional Tactic Slots with my skill points. Sure, I needed somewhere to dump all those skill points, but if you'd actually concentrated on your skill system to begin with I would have HAD somewhere. If you think I'll want more slots, just increase how many I get from leveling up!
• Specializations from an expansion not updating the original game to let me use them all the time. This last play through had me not leveling my main character after a certain point because I wanted to save my Talent slots for either Awakening Specialization Talents, the new weapon skill path, or the extra class paths... If I could have used the new specializations earlier, I could have saved myself the hassle.
• Everything coming from the Fade. Look, if the Fade is so bad, why wouldn't the Chantry just wipe out the mages? They become Abominations, possibly created the Darkspawn, and help thin the veil so all these damn spirits can escape into our world (and apparently it happens ALL THE TIME in Ferelden).

Does anyone agree with me?

End of Demented Rambling.

Rambling Review: Alan Wake for the Xbox 360!

ALAN WAKE


(Game Trailer)


Summery: This game was a lot of fun, despite repetitive gameplay.

I was eagerly excited for the release of Alan Wake for the Xbox 360. A video game where you play a best-selling author in a horror story, with inspirations from Twin Peaks? How could I not be excited? I watched all of the promotional material I could find, including the 6-part web series Bright Falls released as a prelude to the game. I was a little upset that I didn't get a copy sent to me right away (which is why this Rambling Review is showing up so late to the game), but that's what happens sometimes with new releases and GameFly.

The Story Behind the Game: Famous writer tries to rescue wife from a supernatural entity.

The main character of the game is, unsurprisingly, Alan Wake, a fictional best-selling author known for his series of crime novels. In his last book Wake killed off the main character of his series so he could move on to something new (Reminds me of ABC's Castle), but is stuck in a rut and hasn't written so much as a page in two years. In fact, he gets furious at anyone who tries to stick him in front of a typewriter. To get away from everyone (including his best friend, and agent, Barry), Alan and his wife, Alice, decide to go on vacation to a secluded town called Bright Falls. They're renting a cabin for a couple of weeks, just in time for Bright Falls' famous "Deer-fest".

Alan and Alice arrive in Bright Falls via ferry and drive out to their cabin on an island in the middle of a prominent local water feature: Cauldron Lake. It seems like things are going to be nice and quiet for the couple. We learn that Alice is terrified of the dark, something Wake seems more than willing to help her out with whenever she freaks out. Unfortunately, Alice had an ulterior motive for getting Alan to Bright Falls; she's hoping the vacation will recharge his creative batteries, and if that fails there happens to be a treatment center for creative artists where she wants Alan to seek treatment.

Alan discovers all of this, and we discover that Alan has a temper. A bad one. He storms out on Alice, but doesn't get very far before all the lights go out in the cabin, and Alice starts screaming for help. Alan races back to help her, only to discover that Alice has somehow been pulled into the lake. Alan leaps in after her...

... and wakes up in his wrecked car, a week later. Now he has to find out what happened to Alice, to his missing week, and why he keeps finding pages of one of his manuscripts that he doesn't remember reading... and that seem disturbingly prophetic.

I like the story for this game. I was excited for the game due to the back story prior to the game's release, and the rest of the story revealed throughout the game continued to interest me the whole time. The game's resolution is satisfyingly ambiguous; you have a good idea of what happened, but there's plenty of room left for a sequel. And I want a sequel, even if Alan Wake isn't actually the main character (though I'm not sure how you'd continue the naming trend for the franchise if the main character isn't Wake).

The game is divided into six easily-digested "episodes" that make it almost feel like a television episode. The beginning of each episode recaps the "game thus far" in a "Last Time, on Alan Wake"-style narration. This makes it very easy to finish an episode, move on to some other task you need to get done in your day, and come back later to pick up where you left off without losing your place in the storyline.

Gameplay: The game is a third-person shooter that focuses on using light to weaken enemies before you finish them off with a weapon.

Alan Wake places a lot of emphasis on light and darkness, particularly since the game's "Big Bad" is called The Dark Presence. Wake needs to make use of a flash light to weaken his enemies so he can the kill them with either a revolver, shotgun, or hunting rifle. Wake can also use a flare gun to take out multiple enemies at once (though stronger enemies will survive this attack), road flares to keep his foes at bay, and flashbang grenades to take care of those pesky mobs that try to overwhelm him.

The controls are set up nicely on the Xbox 360 controller. Movement and camera control are the standard left-stick and right-stick (respectively). You can select different weapons using the direction pad. Shotguns and Hunting Rifles both use the Up button, so you can only carry one of them at a time (nice that they didn't make the writer into Rambo). You shoot any gun-like weapon with the right trigger, and you throw a road flare or flashbang with the right bumper (you select which one using the down button on the direction pad). The player can reload Wake's weapons by pressing the X button (pressing it repeatedly will speed-up the reloading process), jump with the A button, and interact with most things using the B button. Wake's flashlight is always on (when he has one!), so all you need to do is aim it to start weakening your foes, but it works better if you "focus" the beam by holding down the left trigger. Focusing the flashlight drains batteries, however, but they'll slowly recharge over time, or you can put new ones in by pressing the Y button. The left bumper lets Wake run or dodge attacks.

Most of the gameplay is exploration mixed with combat. There's a little bit of platforming in the game, and some instances where Wake is driving a vehicle. To my surprise, the driving sections are fun, rather than the usual torture I find most driving sections in games where the driving isn't the main focus.

When Wake isn't fighting his enemies he'll want to keep an eye out for manuscript pages. These pages gives the player a "sneak preview" of either an upcoming event, or gives further insight into a character's motives. The pages are presented as type-written pages from a manuscript (you know, the exact things they're supposed to be), but Wake will read them out loud for those players who don't like reading during their games. Personally, I read faster than the audio, so I normally read them really quick and exited from them before the audio was done playing. They aren't long at all (in fact, I would hazard to say that NO ONE would actually write a story in that kind of format, but their purpose is to be self-contained, not a continuous document).

Wake can also find coffee thermoses hidden all over the place (finding them helps unlock achievements, but have no effect on gameplay), radios that let you listen in on the local radio station (providing you with some more of that lovely "local flavor" in Bright Falls), and find televisions that play episodes of "Night Springs", a Twilight Zone-esque short film with HORRID video-audio synch that are amusing when you want to take a break. Secret caches of supplies are hidden throughout the game, revealed only by the photosensitive paint that leads Wake to them.

Combat: You're going to do this OVER and OVER and OVER, but it's fun, so you won't complain!

The basic enemy of the game is called The Taken; a citizen of Bright Falls who has been possessed by the Dark Presence, and is now covered in Darkness to make him invulnerable. Wake can weaken The Taken by using his flashlight to dispel the Darkness protecting them, but they're still under the mental domination of the Dark Presence and need to be put down with a weapon. You will fight hundreds, if not thousands, of these enemies, with the same basic formula: 1. Focus the flashlight beam on The Taken until the Darkness is dispelled, 2. Blow it away with a weapon! It could get boring, but the game manages to keep it fresh. Some of The Taken are stronger than others and can survive multiple shots, and some can move with supernatural speed so you can barely see them as they move. The game likes to swarm you with Taken, providing higher-powered lamps to help you deal with them, or gas tanks to explode. Large areas of light (like under a lamp post) can be safe havens from your enemies.

Alan Wake also pits you against flocks of possessed birds that you fight primarily with your flash light (they're weak enough that you don't need the guns, but the flare gun can normally kill almost the whole flock). If the birds and The Taken aren't enough for you, the Dark Presence can also possess physical objects (like oil barrels) and throw them at Wake, or even vehicles (like bulldozers!) to try and flatten Wake. Like the birds, Wake just needs to use his flashlight against these possessed objects, but the game will throw in some Taken from time to time to keep things from being too easy!

Weaknesses: Not everything is perfect.

Sometimes the game throws some problems. The character animations aren't the best, with facial expressions seeming flat at times. As mentioned before, the video-audio synch on the Night Springs episodes are HORRIBLE, but I suspect this was on purpose. The most annoying part of the game, for me, was that there were times when Wake decides to ditch his gear for NO GOOD REASON. I lose my gear in a car wreck? No problem. I switch to a new episode with just the basic flashlight and now weapons? KEEP THE HEAVY-DUTY LAMP AND THE SHOTGUN YOU MORON!!!!

Seriously, for a character who KNOWS that supernatural entities are going to try to kill him as soon as the lights go out, Wake is oddly idiotic at times.

Conclusion: It's good!

In conclusion, Alan Wake was a LOT of fun. I enjoyed the storyline to the very end, and I'm looking forward to a sequel without feeling cheated by not having a clean "ending" to the game's story. The combat is repetitive, but still fun so I can forgive it, and the various little bits like the Night Springs episodes hidden throughout the game give the whole thing great flavor. Rating this game I give the story a 4/5 and the gameplay a 3/5 (lower only because of all the repetition).

End of Demented Rambling.