Resident Evil: Afterlife

Tuesday Lisa and I went to see Resident Evil: Afterlife on IMAX 3-D. After taking a few days to digest the movie, I'm ready to share my thoughts.

Let me begin by saying that I am a huge fan of the Resident Evil game franchise. Though late to the party, I have eagerly collected every title I could find (though I'm still lacking the PS2 titles). Like many fans I eagerly awaited RE4 and the change in game play. I was reluctant about the change in focus from zombies to the plagas, but after playing RE4 I became fully supportive of the change. I loved that the plagas returned in RE5, and I really enjoyed that game.

But we're talking about the movies here... still, now you know my bias.

I enjoyed the first and second Resident Evil movies, but hated Extinction with a passion. So when I heard about Afterlife, my first thought was "I'm going to hate this movie". Then I heard it was being filmed in 3D, and I said "So the movie industry is exploiting this gimmick AGAIN. Great. This is REALLY going to suck." Needless to say, I was going into this movie hostile.

I came out of the theater happy. I enjoyed Afterlife. Not that it doesn't have problems, because it does. Lots of them. Still, it was a fun movie. I'll try to explain my positives and negatives for Afterlife below.

Resident Evil: Afterlife takes two of my biggest problems with the movie franchise (Alice is a superhuman and Alice has an army of clones of herself) and rids itself of them VERY quickly. Alice goes back to being a normal human being (kind of; see my problems with the movie below), and the clones go out with a bang. A big bang. Visually, director and writer Paul W.S. Anderson has chosen to move the films in line with the games, giving the current zombies a look that resembles the Majini from RE5. It's a great visual, and a nice attempt to tell game fans "I haven't departed COMPLETELY from the games".

Claire Redfield is back (yay for characters from the games!) and this time Chris Redfield is introduced as well. Unfortunately, they both play second-fiddle to Alice. Viewers willing to sit through some credits also get a brief look at Jill Valentine, appearing like she does in RE5.

Returning to its game roots is all well and good, but it does lead to one of my problems with the movie. At this point the Resident Evil movies have diverged SIGNIFICANTLY from the games, mainly because of the events in Extinction. Anderson has written an alternate setting where most of the world's population has become the walking dead, leaving only a scattered group of survivors looking for places of refuge, or Umbrella bases trying to find a way to return humanity to the surface of the planet.

While Anderson has visually brought in the creatures from the later games, he has failed to explain HOW they've come to be. Here's an example. The zombies that now look like the Majini from the games. In the games, the Majini are a result of exposure to plagas parasites that have taken over and mutated their hosts. The plagas, in turn, were discovered by European miners. They have NO connection to Umbrella before RE5 in the games. In the movies zombies have taken on Majini traits because... well, who knows. No reference is made to the plagas, the zombies are called "zombies" and the characters in the film don't seem surprised by this change... so the viewer is left wondering what happened.

Plot holes like these are riddled throughout the movie. Claire Redfield loses her memory because of a device implanted on her chest by Umbrella. In the games this device is implanted on Jill Valentine's chest to pump a performance enhancing chemical into her that also keeps Jill subservient to Wesker. The device in the movie... well, apparently it makes Claire forget her whole life, and ONLY Claire, because another character freed from the same device exhibits no evidence of memory loss whatsoever. Chris has to tell Claire that he is her brother... but we never get any memory flashbacks  to actually show us that this is true, or the nature of their relationship in the movies (after all, we can't assume it is the same as the games when Anderson has changed so much). The biggest plot hole is Wesker claiming that the Redfield siblings have become a thorn in his side... when he has only met them five minutes prior to making the statement, and neither has been shown to have had any past history with Umbrella. Perhaps there's a deleted scene to explain it, but the finished product in theaters doesn't.

Afterlife also has problems with its use of 3D. Frankly, the 3D is boring and adds almost NOTHING to the viewing experience. At no time did any 3D effect shock or wow me. There were some great opportunities for the 3D effects to make some "jump" moments... but Anderson fails to exploit them.

Still, the movie is fun. Don't over-analyze it, because it can't stand up to it. Fans of the movies who don't know much about the games will be lost (it borrows too much from RE5 without explanation), but if you aren't trying to match up the games and the movies you'll probably just say "wow, that looks cool!" Either way, sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the ride.

End of Demented Ramblings.

Movie Review: Shutter Island

Last night Lisa and I went to see "Shutter Island" on the big screen. We had different reactions to it. But first, a little bias on my part. I am not a big mystery fan; I just can't seem to get through mystery books. My favorite murder mystery movie is "Murder By Death"... specifically because it makes fun of the genre (and it's funny as hell). I also enjoy the Nero Wolfe series that was on A&E because of how odd Wolfe is. But I've tried Patterson and others... and I just can't get into them. Further, I've avoided any movie with Leonardo Dicaprio like the plague. Yes, that includes Titanic. I don't know why... I've just never had a desire to watch him.

So with that out of the way, let's talk about Shutter Island.

We decided to go see this movie after viewing one trailer online. We both agreed that it looked like a fun, scary movie. Knowing little more than the trailer and that it was based on a book, we set off to see the movie the second night it was open.

Shutter Island is about a pair of Federal Marshals in the 1950s who go to a mental institution for the criminally insane in search of a patient who has vanished. The institution is on an island with only one way on or off - a ferry. Edward Daniels (Dicaprio) has a problem with water and we quickly learn of a tragedy in his past. His wife died in a fire in their apartment. The two Marshals are met with odd restrictions and resistance from the staff at the institution and quickly become trapped on the island due to a hurricane. The mystery deepens as we learn that Daniels has an a secret motive behind working this case and that all is not as it seems on Shutter Island... including a twist at the end of the movie.

There is some great acting in this movie. Dicaprio does a good job, though his character is so hard-boiled that there isn't much emotional range needed. When emotion is called for, however, Dicaprio does deliver. Further, Ben Kingsley does an excellent job as Dr. Cowley, the doctor in charge of the institution. You get a genuine sense that Cowley wants to help his patients with a more humane series of treatments than most psychiatric facilities provide during the time period. Even when I suspected that Cowley might be a nefarious genius behind diabolical experiments I STILL wanted him to be a good guy. Mark Ruffalo, on the other hand, comes off flat. At the end of the movie I had a hard time believing that his character was qualified for his job. (Yes I'm aware that my statement is vague, but I don't want to spoil anything.)

The visual quality of the movie is fantastic. There were no scenes in which I had any problems seeing what was going on because of lighting issues. The sets were well-designed, especially for the flashback scenes at the Dachau concentration camp.

The only production element I took issue with was the sound, though this might have been a problem with the theater's sound equipment. At one point there is a gun shot in the movie. The scene is meant to be suspenseful, and the gun shot is meant to make the audience jump - except that it can't because we're expecting it. I jumped anyway because the gun shot was so much louder than what I expected. I actually suspect that this was done intentionally - the director knew we weren't going to be shocked by a simple gun shot, so he increased the volume so we'd jump because our ear drums hurt so much.

Shutter Island was not a scary movie - the trailers are completely off. It isn't even really suspenseful. At no time did I worry about Daniels' life, and I'd figured out a lot of the plot elements before the real climax of the movie. The reality of the big twist threw me for a loop though, but not in a way that I appreciated because it failed to finish off what I had felt was a great movie. The story I had been enjoying was gone, replaced with... well, something else.

Don't get me wrong, I may not have liked the ending, but I don't regret having seen the movie. Further, the movie has gotten me interested in reading the book (purchased my copy today), and what better result can a movie inspired by a book have than to interest a viewer in reading the book?

If you haven't seen this movie, you should consider checking it out with no expectations of being scared. If you're a mystery fan there's a good chance you'll have a different reaction than I did. Lisa loved Shutter Island. If I actually had a rating system for movies, I'd give this a solid three Demented Ramblings out of five.

End of Demented Rambling.

Friday the 13th: Remake!

So Lisa and I just watched Friday the 13th (the new one, not the original). I went into with mixed feelings. I wanted to watch it mainly because Jared Padalecki stars in it (for any Supernatural fans out there, that would be the actor who plays Sam), and because I liked the original Ft13, though I never watched any of the rest of the series. I'd heard some bad things about this movie however, and many times remakes don't live up to our expectations. So what to think about this movie?

I liked it!

What, you want more? Ok!

This movie isn't really a remake of the original. It's a retelling of the series, with elements from several of the movies. Rather than being an origin of the slasher we know (and love) as Jason, the new Ft13 gives us a brief bit of history (basically the final confrontation with Mrs. Vorhees in the original) where we get to see Jason discover his mother's dead body. We also hear Mrs. Vorhees' voice whispering in Jason's head to punish 'them' (if you don't know the history of the series you might not realize that this means horney teens, because you might miss her explanation of why she's killing people).

Cut to something like 20 years later. We get a long extended scene where we meet a group of campers who are exploring the woods near Camp Crystal Lake in search of some marijuana that is supposed to be growing in the woods. All of these characters lack any memorable qualities to them other than Whitney, who ends up being a major character. We get to watch Jason butcher all the campers, right after some gratuitous sex (because all 80's Slasher-flicks need gratuitous sex... I think there's actually a law somewhere demanding it). The screen fades to black right as Jason is about to strike Whitney, leaving her fate a mystery, and cutting to the title of the film.

Six weeks later...

A group of kids (maybe teenagers, more likely college students) are going to spend the weekend at "Trent's" family home in the woods (across the lake from the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake!!). Trent is a major asshole, and we get that impression right from the beginning when he is waiting in line to pay for his gas and starts bitching because Clay Miller (Padalecki) is talking to the cashier, trying to hang a flier for his missing sister, Whitney (see how that all ties back around?). Trent tries to claim that Clay is an "asshole" because he's stopping him from paying for his gas and going. Clay stays very non-confrontational and does his best to ignore Trent. Trent's girlfriend, Jenna, sympathises with Clay and gets pissed at Trent for they way he's acting.

Clay continues travelling around the area, trying to ask locals if they've seen his sister. He has an encounter with the local sherrif who tells Clay to give it up; they've already searched for Whitney and her friends, and turned up nothing. The sherrif thinks maybe she ran off with her boyfriend. Clay protests that Whitney wouldn't do that; their mother just died of cancer, and until this trip Whiteny took care of her every day. When Whitney didn't show for the funeral, Clay knew there was a problem and came looking. Clay continues his search, with no luck, though one local tells him that "missing" in this area means "dead" and he should just get out of there while he still can.

Trent & co get to his house. We soon discover that Trent can't really stand his "friends" and that he basically invited them for the weekend so he could show off how rich his family is. He tries to convince Jenna to go have sex with him, but she's not up for it; she'd rather go hiking, and she's pissed at the way he's treating everybody. (Side note; Trent is played by "Travis Van Winkle"... his name even sounds like a rich asshole's name! He looks the part too, and every movie I've seen him in, he's an asshole... talk about born to a role...)

Two of Trent's friends decide to check out the other side of the lake, and Trent lends them his car to prove that he can be nice to everyone... then he asks them to take gas to the family boat and threatens his friend if they take the boat on the lake. The pair leave and immediately make plans to go water skiing. Clay shows up at the house, still looking for Whitney. Jenna invites him in to get something to drink, but Trent throws a fit. Jenna, now completely pissed at Trent, offers to go with Clay to the other side of the river.

As the two walk we learn that Clay and Whitney have had a major falling out; Clay skipped out on his family when he was 17, and the last time he and Whitney spoke they got into a fight. Guilt is part of what's motivating him to look for her.

Meanwhile, remember the two idiots who went along to the other side of the lake? Well we get to see more gratuitous topless scenes (note: in a Slasher, topless means "we're done with you, time to die"). The boyfriend is shot in the head with an arrow (I love that part, he even turns and "poses" for the camera), and the girlfriend is clipped by the boat. This doesn't kill her though... we save that for Jason, who stabs her in the head with a machete (another nice death scene).

At the camp Clay and Jenna get the creeps while exploring the place (it's night now, and the place is ruined... a natural reaction). As they leave they spot Jason coming into the camp and hide. There they realize he's carrying a dead body. Jason realizes that someone is there, but can't find them. He goes on to the caverns he's using as his home while Clay and Jenna flee back to Trent's house. Down in the caverns we discover Whitney alive and chained.

Confused? Well, that's because I left something out... Whitney resembles Mrs. Vorhees in her younger years. Jason's being sentimental because of the resemblance. It's mentioned early on, I just didn't feel the need to say anything.

At Trent's house Trent and his friend Bree have decided to go have sex (woo hoo, the asshole is real faithful to his girlfriend). This has some great dialogue... ok, not great but it's funny because Trent can't stop saying how great Bree's breasts are (yup, more gratuitous sex!).

Clay and Jenna arrive, Jason following, and the killing begins. First he kills off two of the other friends (I haven't mentioned them yet because they're really not that important... which is unfortunate, because they're the token Asian and Black Guy you often find in these films, and they really could have been made into much more interesting characters). Then, while Trent is yelling at Jenna for being gone 8 hours with Clay (he claims they've been having sex all over the woods), Jason kills Bree. Trent goes for a gun, but starts shooting everything. The sherrif shows up... and Jason kills him. Trent, Jenna, and Clay make a break for it. Trent dies. Finally.

Jenna and Clay make it back to Camp Crystal Lake (minor nitpick... it's still night, but the way they've made things sound it takes a few hours at least to get there... wouldn't it be daylight by now?) and discover Whitney. And then....

Nope. Not doing it. See the movie.

(Here's a hint. Remember the VERY END of the original? When Jason jumps out of the water and grabs the girl in the boat? Last scene is an homage to that, but different in its own way.)

Like I said, I liked it. It has some story issues, but most slashers do. And we don't watch slasher for the story so much. We watch them because we like the villain, we like the violence, and we like the gratuitous chest shots! This movie gets about 4 out of 5 from me. Give it a chance, it makes for a great entry point to restart the whole series with fresh material.

End of Demented Rambling.

Repo: The Genetic Opera

We just picked up the DVD release of Repo! The Genetic Opera the other day. This was a direct-to-DVD release of the cult classic musical of the same name. Lisa and I first encountered this during a preview of the film at the Scream Award Ceremonies on Spike TV. I became interested in it and finally rented it when it first came out. We finally got around to buying it the other day.

I love this movie, and I don't normally like musicals.

(Ignore Chicago, Sweeney Todd, and Into the Woods... seriously, I don't like musicals... these are exceptions... really...)

The story is set in the future, when GeneCo, a company specializing in organ replacement surgeries, has saved mankind by perfecting organ transplants. They've created a system where customers can finance their surgeries, obtaining organs they desperately need, but can't necessarily afford at the time. But there's a catch; until that financing is paid off, the organs belong to GeneCo, and if you miss a payment, GeneCo wants its property back. To regain their organs they send out the Repo Man, a special employee who surgically removes the organ, ending the defaulting customer's life in the process.

The current Repo Man is a former doctor who cares for his ailing daughter, Shiloh, who has recently turned 17. Shiloh suffers from the same unnamed condition that took her mother's life before Shiloh was born (her father was able to save her, but at the cost of his wife's life). With Shiloh as his only family left, he keeps her locked away in their house, claiming that she can't leave because of the strict medication schedule needed to keep her sickness at bay.

Like most 17 year olds, Shiloh has found a way around this. She has learned to pick the lock to her door and escape through secret tunnels to the outside world where she collects bugs and revels in being outside (these tunnels are actually used by her father when he's acting as the Repo Man... though she has no idea of his secret identity). While outside, Shiloh encounter the story's narrator, a character called Graverobber (played by one of the opera's writers in both the film and the theatrical productions). Graverobber collects some kind of fluid from corpes to create Zydrate, a drug that takes away the agony of surgery... and is highly addictive. He peddles this drug to addicts on the street. Graverobber gets Shiloh in trouble to save his own skin, and Shiloh is saved from GeneCo's security forces (who mistake her for a graverobber) by the Repo Man (remember, she doesn't know about the Repo Man or that he's her father).

Later Shiloh escapes again, and meets Rotti Largo, the founder and CEO of GeneCo, who is dying of a fatal disease and trying to decide which of his three degenerate children he will leave GeneCo to. Shiloh becomes worried about what will happen to here and flees, being saved by Graverobber (who perhaps feels guilty about using her before). Graverobber educates Shiloh about Zydrate's uses (though he doesn't use it on her), and we encounter Rotti's daughter (Amber Sweet), who is addicted to Zydrate (at the same time that she is in charge of a Zydrate-addict support group) and comes to Graverobber to keep her addiction a secret. Amber is insaely jealous of Blind Mag, GeneCo's most visible representative (Mag has eyes given to her by GeneCo, and is the star attraction of their "genetic opera" which fans flock to in order to testify about how GeneCo has changed their lives, and to hear Mag sing). Amber wants Mag's spotlight badly, and hates comparisons between the two of them (perhaps uncosciously knowing that she can't compete with Mag's voice). When Shiloh makes a comment about Mag around Amber, the dilletante goes into a rage swearing that Mag's spotlight will be her's just as soon as the Repo Man takes care of her.

See, Mag is leaving GeneCo, but there's a fine print to her contract: she got her eyes in exchange for representing GeneCo, and should she ever leave they get the eyes back. Mag is aware of this, and doesn't care. Shiloh is panicked by this, and her panic becomes worse as GeneCo security tracks them down (they're looking for Amber). Graverobber helps Shiloh out again, and gets her home.

There, Shiloh encounters Mag, who turns out to be Shiloh's godmother! Mag had been told that Shiloh had died with her mother, and wants only to meet Shiloh. When Shiloh's father returns Shiloh begs him to help Mag, but the two bicker instead, with Shiloh's father refusing.

The next night is the Genetic Opera, Mag's last performance, and the moment when Rotti plans on revealing his terminal condition and naming his heir. I've left out a lot of background, and I won't continue the tale, because I don't want to ruin it for anyone. It's a great film though, and I highly encourage anyone with a stomach for gory effects (think about what the Repo Man does) to check it out and give it a fair chance.

End of Demented Rambling.

The Forbidden Kingdom

Lisa and I just watched this last night, and I have to say that I enjoyed it.

If you haven't heard of it, this movie stars Jet Li and Jackie Chan, as well as a few stars pretty much unkown in the U.S. but that are big names in China. The movie is a wuxia wire-fu martial arts flick. It came out in 2008 and was a reasonable box office success (it cost $55 million to make and made about $111-$128 million at the box office; I'd call that a success, but I'm not a studio executive).

The story goes like this: a young boy named Jason in south Boston (played by Michael Angarano) loves kung fu movies and games. He notices an ancient staff in the shop at Chinatown where he buys his bootleg movies from. The shopkeeper tells him that the staff has been there since his father ran the place, but the owner has never come to claim it. Later that night  a group of thugs force Jason to get the shopkeeper to open his doors and then proceed to rob him. The shopkeeper uses the staff to brain one of the thugs and is then shot by the thugs' leader. The shopkeeper charges Jason with getting the staff back to its owner and the thugs start to chase Jason because they think he'll turn them in to the cops. Jason makes it to the roof but is cornered. Suddenly the staff pulls him off the roof an he hurtles to the ground...

... instead of impacting he awakens in mythical China. The village he is in gets attacked by the Jade Army. One of the Jade Army officers notices Jason's staff (he woke up with it) and orders the army to arrest him. Jason flees and is saved by a drunken scholar (played by Jackie Chan) who happens to be a martial arts master. The two flee to another town and in the local tavern Chan's character tells Jason the history of the staff. It was once the property of the immortal known as the Monkey King. The Jade Warlord was angry that the Jade Emperor gave the Monkey King a heavenly title and challenged the mischevious Monkey King to a martial arts competition to prove which of them was the better warrior and master of Chi-magic (this happens while the Jade Emperor is away for a 500-year meditation). The Jade Warlord tricks the Monkey King into dropping his staff and then turns the Monkey King into a statue, but not before the Monkey King used his power to hurtle the staff away so the Jade Warlord would not be able to use its power to conquer all of Heaven. The staff ended up in the modern world. A prophecy says that one day a seeker will return the staff to the Monkey King... and it looks like Jason is the seeker!

The Jade Army catches up to them at this point and they are forced to flee after an enjoyable battle. They are almost defeated but another martial artist, Golden Sparrow, comes to their aid. She is on a quest to assassinate the Jade Warlord to avenge the death of her parents. She possesses a jade dart that can kill even an immortal. The three travel for a time, but eventually Chan's character (I'd use his name, but it can be hard to understand Chan's English sometimes and I couldn't make it out) tries to leave, claiming that there will be no wine on the journey, and he needs wine to survive. Jason is confused, and Golden Sparrow claims that Chan is an immortal, and wine is the Elixer he needs to survive.  Golden Sparrow asks how much Kung-Fu Jason has, and Chan tells her that he has none. Jason asks Chan to teach him, and Chan agrees.

They train for a time (funny line: Jason complains that Chan has been having him push grass/weeds around for three days and wants to know when he's going to teach him Kunf-Fu. Chan grabs Jason's staff and hits him with it. "That strike. Tomorrow teach block.") but get detoured when the Silent Monk (Jet Li) steals the staff from Jason. They track Silent Monk to the temple and Li and Chan have a GREAT fight for the staff. Eventually Silent Monk reveals that he isn't stealing the staff to give to the Jade Warlord (which is what the others assumed); he is on a quest to find the Seeker and return the staff to the Monkey King. Chan explains that Jason is the seeker and Silent Monk starts to laugh because Jason's Kung-Fu is horrible. He joins the group because he can lead them across the dessert called the River of Sand to the palace of the Jade Warlord. During that time Chan and Silent Monk continue Jason's education in Kung-Fu (they argue the whole time because they have very different styles; Chan argues that Jason can only have one teacher and the two decide to kill one another after the Monkey King is free to figure out which one is Jason's teacher... they then both continue training him).

Meanwhile, the Jade Warlord has learned about Jason and the staff and sends his Witch to find them. She goes to the inn where Jason and Chan fought the Jade Army and interrogates the innkeeper and his family, revealing some pretty intense issues with men and that she is a master with her whip. She learns that Golden Sparrow is with them and seems to recognize her.

The group is in the dessert, desperate for water. Golden Sparrow suggests that Chan could make rain since he is a Daoist Monk. Silent Monk doubts that he's capable of it. Chan tires to create a prayer scroll and drops of liquid begain to shower him. It's not rain. Silent Monk is peeing on Chan. Chan starts to yell at him, but Silent Monk spies the mountain where the Jade Warlord's palace is located and realizes that they are at the edge of the dessert. They depart the dessert but are stopped by the Witch who orders them to turn over the staff, explaining that if she brings the staff to the Jade Warlord he will give the Elixer of Immortality and she will become an Immortal. When the refuse she sicks her troops on them, but the group escapes. The Witch fires an arrow after them.

Chan is mortaly wounded. The group thinks all he needs is wine to survive, and find a shepard who leads them to a martial arts school. Jason learns from Chan that Chan isn't an immortal... he failed the test to be made an immortal by the Jade Emperor. The head of the school tells Jason that Chan will die because his wounds are too serious. Jason realizes that the Elixer of Immortality will save Chan and leaves alone to retrieve it. He encounters the Witch along the way who leads him to the Jade Warlord (since Jason is no longer trying to keep the staff from the Jade Warlord they don't fight). Jason offers to trade the staff to the Jade Warlord in return for the Elixer, but the Warlord explains that such a trade is impossible, because he has promised the Witch the Elixer for bringing the staff to him. Jason points out that he brought the Jade Warlord the staff, and that the Witch did nothing. The Jade Warlord agrees and then decides to resolve the issue by having Jason and the Witch fight to the death over the Elixer.

I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I'll some up the rest by saying that this kicks off several fight scenes including: Jason vs. the Witch, Silent Monk vs. Jade Warlord, Witch vs. Golden Sparrow, Chan vs. Witch, and Monkey King vs. Jade Warlord. All at the same time!

The fights were great, all the actors did a good job (barring Chan's heavily-accented English, but you just have to expect it from him), and it was great to see Jet Li play both Silent Monk and the Monkey King. I've never seen Jet Li look like he was having FUN in a movie... he always has that serious "I'm going to kick ass" look on his face. As the Monkey King he is constantly grinning and playing pranks on his opponents and has so much ENERGY it's almost unbelievable. Silent Monk is more of his typical role, and I was so expecting that more serious character for Li that I didn't realize he WAS playing the Monkey King until the end of the movie when I saw both characters at the same time.

If you like fun wuxia movies at least rent this. I loved it. Lisa doesn't like this genre and didn't think it was really her cup of tea even after watching it, so if you're not into these films I don't think you're opinion is going to change. But for those of us who like 'em: watch this movie.

End of Demented Rambling.